THE INTERNET is giving
me my biggest laugh in
years, and I laugh a fot.

The cause of merriment is that
the Coflins columns now roam the
Net, courtesy of the North Shore
News. [tis making some people
chew their nails, get drunk, or go
for long walks.

Here on the North Shore,

David Schreck, MLA, is in a tizzy.

Good, because he’s one of the
authors of Bill 33, your friendly
NDP government's way of limit~
ing the politically incorrect.

It causes him endless pain that
my rotten stuff is now available te
millions, !e doesn't ike the
Sunshine Girl, either. What gives?
Is the man anti-form? Someone
should tell Mike:Harcourt about
that. Isn't ita form of discrimina-
tion? :

Never mind. Come the next
election David will be history. So
will Bill.33 if the Liberals and
Reformers are true to their word.

Schreck is only one of many
who’ may need medical treatment

on ‘account of this communica-
“tions shocker known as the Net.

Z
¢

In Ottawa, Max Yalden is also |
A breaking out in spots. He’s the

head of the Canadian Human
Rights Commission, another font
of censorship. And Solicitor
General Herb Gray is furrowing
his brow and looking for ways of
stopping people saying the wrong
things to one another.

’ In Torento, Bernie Farber, the
national director of communica-
tions for the Canadian Jewish
Congress, is having an aitack of

“nerves. (For communications read

propaganda.)
‘J. am not one of his favorite

"people. In letters to the Financial

~ Post and the Toronto Sun he has

fingered me as anti-Semitic.

Like Schreck, he lusts to con- _

tro! what people say. He also

| believes he has the right to call

other people names. But they
don’t have the right to call HIM
names. Not unless they want to be

denounced as you-know-what.

‘“With a little know-how,”
lamented Bernie in the Globe and
Mail, “hate-mongers, pornogra-

' phers and others can freely pub-

lish to the Internet without fear of

sanction or recrimination,
“Surely as parents, law-

enforcement officers, and educa- |

. tors we realize that certain materi-

als.in the wrong hands .... is not

on the
other hand

oniy inappropriate but dangerous.”

Inappropriate and dangerous?
Some of the world’s best writers
and politicians have been called
that, including Winston Churchill.
And don't forget, Bernic, that
witch-hunters may be inappropri-
ate and dangerous, too.

But danger is a teacher. Kids
learn not to put their hands on hot

Stoves, And loonies learn that their

Opinions are laughed at.

Dare I ask who gives Bernie
the privilege of deciding what is
dangerous?

Come to think of it, nothing
could be more dangerous than a
Ministry of Truth presided over by
Mr. Farber & Co. Or for that mat-
ter by me.

It doesn’t seem to have dawned
on some people that the more the
Thought Police try to stop
thought, the more people think.
And the madder they get.

The Internet represents a return

to the democratic form we had
before the censors got to work.

Free at last! Free of the liberal
clites that manage the mainstveam
print media, not to mention state-
controffed tefevision networks that
have to look over their regulation.
ridden shoulders to see whether
the CRTC or the Bernie Farbers
are watching.

He stated in his Glebe picee,
“It would be i saciety’s best
interest to ensure that the Net
remains a tool for learning and
appreciating each other and
doesn't becuie a friend of
humanity's dark side.”

Sure. Let's confine ourselves to
lectures on Mozart and how to
make daisy chains.

L know. There are lots of bad
guys in the world. But muzzling
them only makes them worse. The
Weimar Republic tried to muzzle
Hitler and failed. It even sent him
to jail. But that only gave him the
opportunity to write Mein Kampf
and convert all the guards to
National Socialism.

The Nazis ended up by burning
books. Today, democratic
Germany confiscates books,
thanks to pressures from people
like Bernice.

But no one can burn the Net.
See you there, old bean. You too,
David. And may the best man win.

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Inspection Dates and Times:

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Reference No. Q-831. a

Please be a responsible pet:
. owner and provide your dog -

with a protective kennel

fastened to the centre of.

your veticie. Batter yet,

leave your dog

at home.

A message from your local SP.CA, ‘