6 - Friday, August 28, 1992 - North Shore News INSIGHTS _.AND AS YOouR RELIGIOUS REPRESENTATIVE I ASK THE FEMININE. CARE-GIVER ... Do You TAKE. THIS MASCULINE CARE-GIVER To BE YouR LAWFULLY CONTRACTED NuPTiAL PARTNER ? oy 1 ALWAYS CRY AT WEDDINGS. “THEY'RE SO RO- SOMETHING-Tic. . IM CRYING BECAUSE F DON'T UNDERSTAND WHo's WHO ANYMORE. ‘NEWS VIEWPOINT ~ Lonsdale lift mers are right: Lonsdale needs a facelift. . ‘It also needs some life and some com- mercial buzz. At a ‘recent public: meeting held at city :- hail, ‘merchants, office managers, business “. owners’ and other interested parties were introduced to consultants: who led them NE VANCOUVER City plan- ” ‘through the first of what could be many. -work sessions aimed at pinpcinting the. problems facing the Central and Lower - _Lonsdaic’commercial sreas and coming up with solutions to those problems. — -Saltial reaction from those attending the meeting was that Lonsdale, : while blessed " - with a good natural setting, was boring. _ Anyone taking a. brisk walk. up the | ‘North Shore’s main street will likely come to the séme conclusion. The area lacks a strong personality and a clear direction. And ia places, it is tawdry and run- down: the intersection of Lonsdale and Third Street is anchored by an abandoned restaurant thai has been sitting empty for years. It need not be thus. Lonsdale has much . to offer both shoppers and sightseers. _ It boasts historical significance and commercial opportunities. . - But bureaucratic controls have reduced its attractiveness to pedestrian traffic. Restrictive byiaws. covering everything from commercial signs to outdoor restan- ‘vant seating serve only to stifle creativity and spontaneity. It is: time to loose the conservative constraints and let Lonsdale breathe. ‘Canadian writers are ‘yellow’ Dear Editor: Take samples of the writings of all writers in. Canada and stick them’ in’ a hat. Then shake well and draw them out. With one ex- ception you -will be unable to tell who wrote what. . "They are ’all same. They are. all clones of each other. They all — with one excep- “tion — smack of dreary liber- ~ alism, the guaranteed passport to. . Canadian print medium. - : Canadian writers are. yellow. Publisher . Managing Editor . Associate Editor Advortising Director . Comptrotlor .. . essentially the . Peter Speck Timothy Renshaw Noel Wright . Linda Stewart Doug Foot They are afraid to mention Jews, blacks or Asians ‘except in the ‘most lauditory way. They skirt discussion of race, immigration, - ethnic’ crime, anti-white discrimination, persecution of revisionists and the destroyers of Canada —. except in: the most timorous and cowardly fashion. They are grovelliers all, but for that one exception: Doug Collins. -He happily skewers the taboos and icons of a society gone to rot. He says the unsayable and names Display Advertising $86-0511 Real Estate Advertising 965-6982 Classified ‘Advertising 986-6222 Newsroom 885-2131 North Shore News, founded in 1989 as an independent. suburban newspa, | Tax Act, is published each Sui per and qualified under Schedule 111, Paragraph Ul of the Excise y, Friday and inday by Norin Shore ‘Vee Press Lid. and nort 1 shore distributed to every door on tha North Shore. Second Class Mail Registration Number 3885. fest Vancouver, $25 per yer. ‘ailing rates available on request. ibmissions are welcome but we cannot accept tesponsibility for unsolicited material including V7M 2 Manuscripts and pictures which should be ‘accompanied by a stamped, addressed envelope. Subscriptions North and 1139 Lonsdale Avenue, North vancouver, B.C. Distribution Subscriptions 986-1337 Fax 985-3: Administration 935-2131 the transgressor. But the man does it with wit and style. His own. There is no mistaking his. crisp, penetrating (and hugely entertaining) prose that is as blunt and effective as a battering ram. As they say, wherever he- “goes old Mad. Dog leaves behind his. smoke and ‘rubble. And that’s 2 brave thing to see in this Day of | the Sissy Scribbler. Wilfred Blair Surrey 986-1337 » “a ; inted on - 227 10% recycled ~ newsprint MEMBER 67,582 (average circulation, Wednesday, Friday & Sunday) Entire contents © 1992 North Shore Free Press Ltd. All rights reserved. Costly freebies, _ naughty parents and topless Li IDLE MUSINGS on late-sammer news items — starting : has any use for. Houses built‘on peat bogs. Autometive lemons. Pet skunks. Great-aunt Mary’s attic junk. -That sort of thing, right? Right — with one exception, it now seems. The exception being something worth six-figure dollars that tens of thousands of people would give their ears to get. But when the cost of actually receiving the gift exceeds its value, you have to sor- rowfully say: ‘Thanks a million. —~ but no thanks!”" There’s nothing in the least bog-like, skunk-like or junk-lixe about the North Shore’s hometown superstar. But as Bryan Adams and his fans have learned, the one hugely desired thing you CANNOT give away for free is a tock concert on a cricket field. SHARING with their kids the | price of discipline looms for parents of the 1,500 students at a Chicago school with a 24% truan- cy rate, gang problems galore and 150 of the little darlings expelled last year. The local school board plans to make mom and dad serve deten- tions alongside their delinquert offspring on weekends. if mom and dad don’t show up, they may - be fined. And if that doesn’t work, they'll no doubt find young Johnny has been kicked out for. good. The next problem, however, will be parents exhibiting attitude . problems of their own while back JAL boffiris have figured. that the decorative top coat paint adds 330 Ibs. to the ai craft's weight, which trans tes in- industries suffer. Fair eno he may say; in our dog-eat-do economy. But nevertheless on hopes JAL won't ever get aroti to weighing the clothing of its” flignt attendani ‘ SIGN-OFF: Congr. . MacMillan and Teani Bache, i 1992 * good sportsmanship:, entation at Upper, Lyon era in school — talking and wander- wi ing around the detention room, . cheeking the teacher and fi ghting - with other parents allowing THEIR kids to lead young ‘Johany astray. “Will such pavents be disciplined. by being given detentions of their =~ own? And will innocent young Johnny be forced to share them? eee COST-CUTTING BRAIN-. WAVES are great — for those whose costs are cut. The latest “*]-Win-You-Lose”’ idea comes from Japan Air Lines, which returns of this da . Ron 1 Gibbs. plans to introduce *topless”’ jets. :. Don’t get alarmed, however, - about family values. It simply.’ means JAL planes will soon be- flying naked because they will’ no longer be painted. umn item).