42 - Sunday, August 21, 1994 - North Shore News

Eau de armpit

LAST MONTH, Ontario judge Lee
Ferrier upheld the 1991 firing of
Sharon Bagnall, 52, by Calvin
Klein Canada, where sne worked as
a cologne demonstrator.

The judge said he was persuaded
by the company’s witnesses, who
testified that Bagnall had a “person-
al hygiene problem” and smelled
like an “armpit.”

ene

In a $20 million advertising
campaign to shore up its tarnished
image as a "straight-talking” com-
pany, Prudential Securities Inc.
began running print media ads
praising its agents’ integrity. They
-featured its Beverly Hills broker
Susan B. Gooding, who proclaims
that her own father is a client.
According to a news story in the
Chicago Sun-Times in March,
Gooding’s father, who died in 1991,

was never her client.
eee

Thousand Oaks, California — In
June, a judge dismissed neighbors’
requests for an injunction against
Kathleen Adams, who the neigh-
bors said lures squirrels to her home
with food and thus creates a nui-
sance.

Adams claims the area is popu-

. lated with squirrels anyway, and

WOULD YOU HAPPEN
TRHAVEA
SAFELY FIN, VAL?

SURE, OED,
HOLD on AGEG

NEWS OF THE
WEIRD

ean, US Gthes
Compiled by A.P. McCredie

that she does not need to lure them.
Neighbors’ evidence included the
fact that Adams posts “Squirrels
Welcome” signs in her yard. The
judge said he found the signs unper-
suasive in that he doubted that
squirrels could read them.

Apparently weary of inter-fami-
ly bickering in the federal bankrupt-
cy case of Judith Herskowitz of

YEAH, LIKE
WRITING
is YOUR

THING.
Don't HAE

LIKE!
Kips.

A THING.

ABOUT Tie SMART-

MOTHER EMPLOTEE
AND His

DISCERNING Buss,

cr.

CAN YOU HACKETT?

Herskowitz in March “to obtain and
mail" to her sister Susan Charney,
at feast five days before Susan's
next birthday, a card which reads
“Happy Birthday, Sister” and con-
tains the signature of Ms.
Herskowitz. Further, Cristol
ordered that the card “shall not con-
tain any negative, inflammatory or
uakind remarks.”

Calgary, Alberta — According
to police a local pizzeria contains a
dungeon-like “trick pad” where
teen-age girls work as prostitutes
and whose catacomb of rooms is lit-
tered with sex magazines, tiquor
bottles and used condoms.

However, health officials who
inspected it in December refused to
close it down, saying, “There is no
reason to be concerned about the
food being served.” According to
the official, police business and
health business are separate matters.

The Chicago Tribune reported in
June on a local sex therapist, Robert
Herd, who works exclusively heip-
ing animals to mate. He says a sur-
prising number of dogs and horses
exhibit sexual dysfunction.

© Val Costantino

A MOTHER,

© Teresa M. Hackett

You know someone’s mad...

You know a baseball player is mad when he sinkws out af you. You know a
shinglar is mad when he hits the roof. Following inis lina of reasoning, see

how many of the

le in the left-hand column you can match with thelr

appropiate displays of anger on the sight,
You know someone's mad when...

1, A crowd-control officer

2. A judge

4. A metallurgist
5. A boilarman
8. A sailor
7,Amime

8, An apiarist

9. A clockmaker

12, A golfer

15. A brewmasier

19. A carpsnter
20. A librarian

PEEL EEETEEEt ethan

fomestow's Conma™

3. An air conditioner repairman

10. A broadioom weaver
11. A plastic surgeon

13. A photographer
14. A mountain climber

16. An orthopedist
17. A contortionist
18. An auto mechanic

. Has his nose out of joint
Has a bone to pick

. Calls you on the carpet
Lays down the law

. Loses his head

. Gets a bea in his bonnet

. Spits nails

. Loses his temper

Reaches his fiash point
Blows a gasket

. Asaches the end of his rope
Lowers the boom

. Loses his cool

Gets bent out of shape
Reads you the riot act

Gets tickud off

. Throws the book at you

. Gives you the silent treatment
. Gals steamed

Gats teed off

HYNMODOZEF RYE -™ TranmMmooD>

O02 OSGi Tl NZ ‘ast

TSG WEEE TE WEL 9-08 a6 [8 “Ue “Pe S-S Hee WE O-2 “OL oasuy

HOROSCOPES
soit mie ty Comma L OEY 1S no such

thing as foreigners

Robert

HEAVENS ABOVE

URANUS ENERGIZES and
illumines (refer to last
week’s commentary) and
Uranium power (tight) bursts
through the Saturnian “ego”
defenses and through barri-
ers of the conscious mind
and manifests as “destruc-
tion” only when there is
resistance.

Some resistance is always pre-
sent, so a Uranus transit is usually
discombobulating (disruptive).

Uranus goes “direct” October 1.
Get ready. This energy within us
cuts away the “old.” One’s way of
being is revolutionized.
Consciousness is disorganized to
allow new growth to come forth.

It brings to awareness whatever
ideas, feelings, realizations were
subliminal... just below the thresh-
old of consciousness, The energy
pierces through oid, rigid, contract-
ed structures with revolutionary
impulses.

Uranus and Pluto will “sextile”
(harmonize) 10 tines during the
next 34 years, their first major con-
tact since the renewal of their cycle
in the mid-sixties.

The first of these aspects
occurred in May this year (days
after the South African vote). The
subsequent nine opportunity
aspects occur with Pluto in
Sagittarius and Uranus in Aquarius;
April °95, March and September
*96, January/February and
October/November/December ’97
and January °98. January and
October 1997 are especially volatile
periods what with the dynamic duo
inconjunct black hole Parvarti.

What to “expect?”

Pluto’s nature is to probe and
dissect, reaching far below the sur-
face appearance to reveal the true
reality behind the apparent one.
With Pluto in Sagittarius challeng-
ing us (we, ourselves, challenging
us) to examine our assumptions and
beliefs, we may begin to understand
that there are no “foreigners.”

To be continued next week.

ALL SIGNS

On June 2, at the American
Astronomical Society's national
meeting, the announcement was
made that water was found in
Markarian |, a galaxy 200 million
years away.

Although water was discovered
in our galaxy some 25 years ago,
this is the first time water has been
found in the farthest reaches of
space.

Know that since the gelaxy is
200 million light years away, what
we are discovering was a fact 200
million years ago.

On the date of the announce-
meni, the moon was moving
through late Pisces (water) — with
Mercury and Venus in Cancer,
Jupiter and Pluto in Scorpio and

Saturn in Pisces, Water, water
everywhere,

As “above,” so “below.” Above,
below — same thing.

Aug. 21-27, 1994

T° ARIES (March 21-April 20)

Leo full moon, Sunday, Arics.
Very restless, carly week, Catch up at work,
Tuesday. Wednesday, get your brain in gear
before you talk. Constructive criticism from
4 friend, Thursday, Good fortune, Friday. A
tendency to over indulge, Saturday. Lucky
numbers: 3, 29, 39.

3% TAURUS (April 2)-Mey 21)
Laughter cases the way, Sunday.
Taurus, Good aspects, Monday, fur finances,

, A love-life boost that will last for 30 days,

Tuesday, Mid-week, a family feud over
spending too much. Friday, cooperate. OK to
be impulsive, Saturday.

TLE GEMINI (May 22-June 21)
Positive attitude enhanced, Sunday,

‘Gemini. A brush with authority, early week, -

unpleasant. You get many things done,
Wednesday. A very full Thursday. Emphasis
on home life, Friday. Look for a new
approach, Saturday.

> CANCER (June 22-July 23)

The full moon illuminates your
thinking, Cancer. Boost income, Monday. -
Some negativity, Tuesday. Pursue new inter-
est, Wednesday. You may want to crawl’
back in bed, Thursday. Out of your dol-
drums, Friday, Don’t insist on your way,
Saturday. Be flexible.

? LEO (July 24-Aug. 23)

Your thinking is keen, Sunday,
Leo. Monday, don’t fall for a line. Curtail
spending, Tuesday, Mid-week, you find it
hard to get your point across. Ask for help,

- Thursday. Friday, consider the other person's

point of view. A most delightful weekend. =

VERGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)

Pretty iniense dreams, Virgo. They
don’t make sense, of course. Do something
out of character, early week. The sun enters
your sign, Tuesday. Care for health, .
Wednesday. You move forward, Thursday.
Growth, the key word for Friday. Head for
the beach, Saturday. .

Xe LIBRA (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)

om" You want to be with friends,
Sunday, Libra. You feel good about recent
choices, Monday. Tuesday, you feel pro-
voked, Mid-week, pay attention to dreams.
Forge ahead, Thursday. Good choices,
Friday. Take Saturday for yourself.

SUURPIO (Oct. 24-Noy. 22)

Sunday, Scorpio, lively. Play your
lottery numbers, Monday. Be cautious travel-
ling, Tuesday. A quarrel could escalste,

Wednesday. Make up before bedtime. . ,

Thursday, free and easy. Get an early start on
the weekend, Friday. Luck comes home to
roost, Saturday.

21)

Full moon in Leo has you up and
running, Sunday. Early week is good for
long-term plans. Your weekend travel plans
altered, Wednesday. Thursday, could be
delightful. Changeable, Friday. Be flexible.

A fabulous weekend,
B CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
Much activity, Sunday, Capricorn.
Keep a tow profile, Monday. Get thoughts in
order, Tuesday. Another job offer,
Wednesday. It's the same as before. Things
turn out as hoped, Thursday and Friday.
Imagination works overtime, Saturday.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec.

Viv
wWev AQUARIUS (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
What a day for a wedding,
Aquarius. Bring out your sense of humor,
Monday. Financial matters stressed,
Tuesday. Nostalgic, mid-week. Friday, some-
one you love is not doing weil. Offer help.
Saturday could be delightful.

3€ PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20)

tatuition keen, Sunday, Pisces.
Your mate has plans for Monday evening
that surprise and delight. Tuesday and
Wednesday, a co-worker wants peace. Be
creative, Thursday, Magic and imagination,
Friday. Chores to do, Saturday,

Robert Aiken is an internationally known
astrologer, metaphysician, therapeutic coun-
sellor and workshop leader with 35 years
experience, He offers empowering psycho-
logically and metaphysically oriented coun-
Selling sessions, as well‘as thorough, in-
depth astrological readings. Contact Carole:
926-4961,