SUMO E ope teary: SOMETIMES I don’t believe what I read in the papers. But more often than not, what I read must be true because no one could make it up. Acouple of months ago I read that one out ef seven Canadian and American adults cannot locate their own countries on a world map; that a number of senior stu- dents in a Texas high school didn’t know which foreign country bordered on their state, and that B.C.’s Grade 12 students will have problems reading and writing. Take heart. Things are just as bad in the U.K. Maybe even worse. There, even the teachers hardly know what time it is. Not in the state schools, anyway. Last month the Sunday Times published the results of a survey it had done on what teachers knew. And what teachers knew was very little. Three hundred teachers were asked such things as: Which king RS Couta our teachers spell ‘ernbarrass,’ ‘satellite’ and ‘harassment’? How many would know the difference in pronunciation between ‘harass’ (FLARass) and - ‘harASSment’?’’ Bt signed Magna Carta? What is 15 per cent of 10 pounds? How do you spell ‘ermbarrass,’ ‘harass- ment,’ and ‘satellite’? Who is Ian Paisley? How many millimetres are there in a metre? Who wrote Canterbury Tales? Who wrote Lit- tle Dorritt? And so on. In all, six- teen simple questions were asked. @y phone, so that there was little chance of cheating.) The results were better than a Monty Python show. Some thought the Magna Carta had been signed by William the Conqueror; others by Henry VIII. Oh well, at least nobody said it was Prince Charles. Three out of four teachers could not spell ‘embarrass,’ ‘harass- ment,’ and ‘satellite.’ Eight per cent of math and science teachers could not say what 15 per cent of 10 pounds was, and “another five per cont were so foxed they had to give up.”’ Many could not identify promi- nent British politicians or union leaders. Frequently, they were thought to be TV news an- nouncers. One in five did not know that Warsaw is the capital of Poland. Ardagh 986-4366 Personal Injury Hunter tors #300-1401 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver Free Initia! Consultation LEAD IN YOUR DRINKING WATER? THE “REVITALIZATION” will remove all types of contarninants including chlorine, PC.P’s, lead & copper. See us at the “Good for You Canada” booth at the Vancouver Holiday Food & Gift Festival, B.C. Place. Dec. 8-11 Booth #18713 or call Mr. Edblad at 538-1110 for a free no obligation in home demonstration. Twenty seven per cent did not know that Sonn is the capital of West Germany. Forty seven per cent did not know the capital of Afghanistan — despite its having figured somewhat on the news these past few years, the newspa- per observed drily. Only 42 per cent got all three capitals right. Fifteen per cent did not know that Chaucer wrote Canterbury Tales. Oddly enough (or perhaps not so oddly) 95 per cent could identify Nelson Mandela, that hero of the left wing, and 92 per cent knew that sodium chloride is salt. Would the results of a similar survey in Canada be any better? How many would know who Jacques Cartier was and what he did? Is General Wolfe still known? The Plains of Abraham? Who was the first prime minister in Canada and how did he spell his name? Who heads the Canadian Labor Congress? Which minister is in charge of the free trade agree- ment? Could our teachers spell ‘embar- rass,’ ‘satellite’ and ‘harassment’? How many would know the dif- ference in pronunciation between ‘harass’ (HARass) and ‘harASS- ment’? The headline over the Sunday . Times’ story was ‘‘Britain’s teach- ers are as thick as the rest of us’’ — a reference to a previous survey showing that one in six Britons did not know where the U.K. was on the map. Here in Canada, 35 per cent of the population is supposed to be functionally illiterate. Innumerate, too, no doubt. Why else would so many bank tellers find it impossi- ble to do simple sums without a calculator? Yet education costs in Canada are outpacing inflation. They reached $36.3 billion in 1986/87, up 140 per cent in current dollars in 10 years, compared to a con- sumer price index increase of 117 per cent. Despite all that, though, the education industry screams for more. ‘‘Socreds starve schools,’’ is the cry. The president of the University of Victoria, Howard Petch, has admitted that many Grade 12 stu- dents can’t read or write properly. Was the education industry to blame? Not at all. It was because the classes were too big and mothers were working, etc. Bilge. All bilge. 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