o depressed - after 1. " worl dé . cieing “of aptitde | do They: ‘cost ime a mint. I did. ‘them at a time when I was . though it were trae! Trae, I willy. depressed - and .be- Heve me I was a lot more got. the written report. Before I did _ the tests, althazsh I was bine. ghout: myself and my: situa- - self-worth and ‘pushed. me down deeper into despen-— dency. It kind of wiped me out for a couple of. yéars, before I began to locate some ‘tion, I had a pretty good sense ef my ‘potential worth asia! person and of my - capabilities: in ‘certain life-. work fields of ‘endeavour.’ Well, the test gave me very poor grades in most of the areas. where I though I was» pretty well off and although 1 was supposed to go back for a counselling — session ‘that | was: meant to help me. quUcersiana the results of the test, I was so angry and so depressed that I mever did go back. That was foolish of me~ but at that timo 1 frst folt Ithe a gee WAU BnEn the test was saying I was a most inadequate person ‘and - I. I. dider’. want anyone. trying - prove it to. me.. New, © : several years Inter, as I read - Oa ‘Frealance ‘Couns or a ‘Stewart: may. be reached at. '. 261-6242 for:a ointments for... . tora about me. Pve got a good Individual, counsolling. . His new office in the Plaza International . Hotel [open family or _ group ~ Tuesdays - only) | Is.: for: the convenience of ‘North Shore . resi Ident *. - You ARE. rad a long. time and have yeached for it awkwardly. time and again. The. other | day, when I was talking with. my girl friend about my. newest plan for going after what J wanted, she sald, You kmow Jean. [not my name] that’s: not really what you are jooking for - you wre ~ looking for yourself’. T knew | immediately she was right on over the weitten report, Is am ' ‘met made to feel depressed, — * but boy'am J mad! Yoa lmow I BELIEVED thet damn test for a certain something. and for a few years, acted as walked out om the chance to understand the test . better, but the reason I did that was because the ninnies - that | a admintstersd the te of my potential. 1 found that ‘written report a while back. and read it again and by golly. I was furious about it. What - do you think of these tests? STEWART: I don’t ‘know -much about aptitude tests, but I do know a few people who have been greatly helped by them. Perhaps. they were not tested and assessed by a ninny. I do a -couple of personality or. ‘temperament analyses _my- self, in connection with my counselling, | but I always. Point | out that so called you a: question. about my - experience. I really honestly enjoyed being with a man - other than. amy busbend end I. learned a’ lot about myself. ‘and -about | loving. .1 never once had a:moment of guilt — about the affair’ itself, but: felt rotten about cheating on. husband’: and. never “before. ‘did’ I have the word” “tawdry” flash into my mind — -as much as it did. during my amorous .adventare. I: algo. did everything - t- _Posnlbly teen-agers. ‘hawt find out. reintionsnip With my ixids amid here I was trying to hide: something from them. My question is, how can a person | . enjoy an experience: so much and feel so badly about, it at _ the: same time? : arking — ‘up the right tree ; QUESTION: ve been hun- and I had the. strangest sénse ‘of feeling a freedom. ‘I. was. kind. of released from what I had thought was my real need. Now I feel like already — I'am on to a much better thing. Am I barking up the | wrong tree, or dees that : sound sensible to you? STEWART: You. KNOW it’s ihe right wee for yout Don't cask ome,.. or anyone: else. Climb it! | Cutting thing. It’s Just no ‘good. How . * ean we change it so we don’t have this double trouble alll Oo the time? aa STEWART: 7 know how to. “4. ¢eutsithe ‘grudges in - half. . . & . Would that satlehy you fora: - the _ grudges by h half "QUESTION: My husband ts an awh one for. holding ~ | grudges. I do the very same - little while? You don't like | holding grudges yourself and ‘holding them in one family, So - secing: YOU don’t like: them, do yourself a favor and don't hold grudges. any ” more! That will automatically cut them in half. Who knows, | perhaps your partner will be so jfelieyed, and Jolly: about’, é tests” are "simply, tools to eft ms QUESTION: ve been into a glorious affair in the last few. - months ‘and now. ’'m glor-— fously out.of it. I want to ask - you don’t. like two people . -help. ‘towards » - self-under- standing. and’ certainly are not. ‘‘measurements’’ to. as-. certain personal ‘‘wo . Printed across the bottom. of one of the tests I-use is this comment: ‘‘Note: Important | decisions. should not be made | ‘on the basis, of this profile. seit tenis PAAhematlAm ar trace Vancouver | ‘local of the Canadian Union of Postal Workers. a V¥ ACRE UURE DUVERAES SEG LEWER WA Les _ results by other means”’. oe Time and again I say, before. - interpreting the . profile; _“*Now don’t worship this fool ‘test’, it. is only intended.to_ help you think and talk and- get. some. ‘good, ideas about your | strengths. and, your: areas of opportunity. for ‘growing.’ ~ You sound to me as though _ you. have done a lot: of | ‘recovering since your black - times. : Good - boy! ‘Perhaps — you have come to. see that’. you can know yourself better than. any test: does. Perhaps ~now, a restudy of ‘that oid: comment. may be of. more value to you than it was at- the time you wrote it. isn’t '- burn it! ‘STEWART: That good/ bad “Wit. In “a ‘writ filed in 'B.C. ‘Supreme Court, local presi- ae ‘Peter... Whitaker: and thing is an experience that is |. = always available to oo that. will contribute . your growth into fuller living. , You move into. some experience that is enjoyable in anticipa- tion and then in actuality, but | on accompanying it. are side: effects that are not enjoyable we no of Son ‘So. then, » immedi grey, : “are free to make a new: ‘choice - in a new direction. You have’ Jearned cand - ‘grateful. ‘An overweight per- hives) “Son » can. CHOOSE © to do something abniit it and Goes. It may. be. hard to do: It, may take will-power or patience or both, but he does it and - ‘feels good about ‘it. It works. Something he wants comes ‘to him. He settles. into. anew | way. of living - that. is rewarding and he is happy . about it. Then, on a whim, or ~- after. much inner. wrestling . _ with himself he heads for Big Scoop ‘and orders a choco- - . late-nut-whipped-cream-top- . ped-marshmallow-pecan-.. sundae and he orders it to be | a double. Does. he’ enjoy’ it? . ~ Youbet your skinny diet he enjoys it! And he hates it too "because it ain’t his new. style of living that he .wants so much... So. that. night, he is || able. to make a new. choice, | ‘again. | ‘Which. shall it:'be?.- ‘Will it be back to. Big Scoop . for a Triple this time? Or will it be the way of living he is _. into? Or is there. a thitd option - - or fourth? os Your _ particular sundae | was fun, sounds to me it wasn’t, fun * enough. There are too many. _ things about it that just don’t .— ‘seem. to contribute to the. thing you want to do with your life. Make a new choice tight’ quick-like, and you'll learn from it too! By the way, this ‘learning’ is called facing facts, by some people and by. others it’s called the ‘voice of God. Call it-what you want to - but:listen to it, and | “make new ‘choices. 4 me ue niet et din aA He bled rt neY OM BCE) eB BL “should - -be 7 doudle an but it YOU: giving up your Suliges | : a. that he may just:try on the |. _ for size. ~ Support nasi SAN ate ah erm a telaaindenncet ASE Hm ABBE RTE or feelings of “Gnwvorthiness, or . Q . 7 yvu . - Capilano - MP. Ron “Hunt: ; _ ington is the target of a. slander suit filed: ‘by the- by the Tory MP. | “Huntington v was a guest on: - “ ‘the Ed Murphy open-line talk show on CJOR May 7 and May .16, the days-he is alleged to have slandered the. - union and ‘Whitaker. . ' The. union: and. Whitaker - also. sought an Aniunction to. a Nene Son restrain Hungtington from repeating the alleged sland- . ers... As Being Served Monday Through Friday. At 42 Noon - _In The» 1999 Marine Drive _ North Vancouver _ ee a ‘In terms: of ihanitnag and «suspension, the 924 is also | pure: Porsche. | ->'Exhilarating,. light. and precise. 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