42 - Sunday, October 15, 1989 — North Shore News LIFESTYLES GOODWILL NECESSARY Do not confuse favors with business agreements DEAR MISS MANNERS — As a volunteer, I put up pos- ters in stores that I frequent, to promote causes. This work involves time and money, so I explain to the manager that F don't leave these posters in public places to be discarded. 1 re- quest an assent with some cooper- ation so that these efforts won't be wasted and property destroyed. Recentiy I visited 2 store where I had put up a poster four days previously. The poster was miss- ing. When I asked the clerk about it, he said it had been up for weeks. I disagreed. Then he said the date had expired. I replied that nothing had been said about dates. When I requested the return cf the poster and a talk with the manag- er, I was told neither was avail- able. Would you bother to talk to the manager? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners would first take the time to calm, down. To treat the man- ager as someone who has reneged on a business agreement (as you did the clerk) is a bad idea. No money was involved here; it was a favor. It is unfortunate that the favor was not carried out as promised, and that false excuses were offered when you pointed this out. Never- theless, the manners connected with nudging people to do favors are different from those connected with enforcing contracts. Also, any thought that manne:s can be omitted when one is doing good works is a practical as well as ideological mistake. Your practice depends on the goodwill of the merchants; Miss Manners promises you will not be forthcoming if you subject them to indignation. Try this: ‘1 really appreciate your letting me put up a poster. As you know, it’s a good cause — and people tell me they tend to favor stores where it looks as if the owners care about more tian just taking their money. But we can’t afford to put up a poster for just a few days. They're too expensive. You understand that. Could you miss manners Judith Martin let me know ahead of time how long you’re willing to keep a poster up?” DEAR MISS MANNERS — How do you get guests to respond when you announce, five minutes chead, that dinner will be served at 6 p.m., for instance, and suggest they may want to use the bathroom? When the dinner hour comes, they are still talking, and when told that the food is hot on the table and you'd like them to enjoy it while it is hot, some still delay getting ready and then have to use the powder room. Would it be all right to wait un- DAVID TRACY Most names are chosen because the parents like the sound of the name, not realizing that it creates one’s degree of intelligence, per- sonality, desires environment. Although the above names do create some good qualities, they are far out- weighed by their limitations. Briefly, these names create technical, mechanical and scientific capabilities. The individuals are systematic. self-willed, patient, in- dependent and hard workers. They are “‘straight-to-the-point'’ in speech, lack imagination and have limited musical and artistic ability. {f the sur- could develop would be technically good, but not arti: ‘cally expressive. People with these names are very fussy over details and lack versatili- ty. They cannot visualize, are skep- tical, and it is difficult to appeal to them through sympathy. They are headstrong and often domineering, learning through ex- perience rather than analysis. Parents find them very difficult to discipline. They are not fond of sociability and find it difficult to ex- press their inner feelings. Physical weaknesses appear in the digestive system in a variety of ways WHAT’S IN YOUR NAME? It holds the key to your happiness! LINDA RYAN til they are all seated and then pro- ceed to let them wait until the food is on the table? GENTLE READER — Some- thing tells Miss Manners that you are having too long a cocktail hour. After a normal one, two or three people may excuse themselves, but there should not be a line around the block. However, that was not your question. What you need to know is that it is not only sensible but correct to seat guests before bring- ing the food. People with little or no help understandably want to get food on the table ahead of time, but where there are no practical problems, guests should have time to settle in (which does not mean loitering elsewhere) at the table be- fore the food is brought. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My son’s fiancee has dore me the honor of asking if { would be a bridesmaid at ker wedding. I was already thrilled to be the mother of the groom. She and I are very close, ad I would hate to hurt her feelings by refusing, but please tell me if this is ever done. GENTLE READER — What is done is for the bride to choose her bridesmaids among her closest friends. Miss Manners has not heard of any bride’s so classifying her prospective mother-in-law, but thinks you should be madly ftat- tered that this happened to you. Once you have shown that you are overwhelmed — as indeed you should be — by the honor ‘and the happy family situation this gesture indicates, you can express a pref- erence for appearing in your fami- ly relation, as mother of the bridegroom. Miss Manners, too, thinks this the better choice, but only if the expression of it is covered with gratitude and pleasure in the other offer. LEE STEVEN — sometimes with growths. Tension in the senses of the head can result in weak eyes, mastoid troubles. sinus problems, early loss of hair and headaches. lt DAVID is mosily called DAVE he will show some different qualities — being much more versatile and quick-minded although some of the legal name qualities would still prevail. One is affected py every nickname and the surname used, so a more complete name analysis is required to give the full nature of a person. WHAT’S IN YOUR NAME? Phone the office of the KABALARIAN PHILOSOPHY 736-2875, 8°30 to 4:30 weekdays and find oui — and what 's more important — how you can change the parts you don't like! Thare is no obiigation or charge. A FREE PUBLIC PRESENTATION will be hald Tuas., Oct. 17 & Tues., Nov. 7 at 7:36 p.m., 5912 Oak St., at 43rd Ave., This is a golden opportunity that should not be missed! You owe it to yourself to al least make inquiries. You wilt come to know the joy in living and come to see yourself as one with purpose and clear direction. * §500-7000 . $2399 In Pemberton Plaza ~ North Shore Pet Foods & Supplies 1264 Marine Dr., N.V. 988-5012 Martin’s Techni-Ca! Dog Food i tata § 3940 $34" $34" Senior 40 Ibs. Growth 40 Ibs. $949 65° Sergeants Flea Powder § Cat & Dog Sergeants Flea & Tick Collar Cat & Dog Husky Dog Food 709 gr. 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