. QUESTION: : |

specific:

. problem: because others are _
. involved and I don’t want to :
here itis. Pm ina ‘spot.v where =

- add to. their ‘burdens.

Os practical, matteis
todo: something» [which
don’t. ‘really ° approve. of] : in

"order. to ‘continue.-with the —

_ income that 1 desperately
anced. In other words, my job
<ealls. for me t6. fit--in to

a company. policy. that. L don’t :
ike. It is not really a moral

| a uestion, but the’ policy I

s cobject to is’ just.a bad one -
-; that is not fair. If t refuse to .

‘take: part in. 2 owill
undoubtedly lose my job and |

there is:no-way I-can- eee

7 that. ‘What can vf do?.

| “een

QUESTION: Pve found my-
Self juite. attracted by some.
“aspects o. “ue Libs IF enjoy”
. being:a. ‘person. in’ my own —
ae not” ae “someone’s

- Freelance: Counsellor Hayden :

Stewart may be reached at
. 261-6242 for appointments for
individual, -family or: ‘group
counselling.

His new office in the Plaza
- . International | Hotel

' Tuesdays only) is for the —
convenience of North Shore
‘residents.

: Soft-pedal exciting hunches —

QUESTION: Do you ever
have the feeling that some |

particular time or event is
going to be specially signif:
| feant for you? I don’t think:
: Pm the least bit superstitious
' and I do not have this kind of
ae feeling very ‘often [only twice
~ before'in my life): but ‘each,
: time’ I have experienced ft 1
~ ‘have been quite moved and.
excited. On one occasion 1
was, rewarded by my hunch

Half-loaded
puzzles son

QUESTION: How come my |

- father can get half: loaded
almost every night and won't
let me drink? Pm 16.

STEWART: Perhaps he’s
still smart cnough to know,
(and hate), what is happen-

ing to him, and yet, loving

cnough to loathe the idea of
it happening to his son. A lot

of drunks are smart enough.
to care about their loved ones
although ‘not quite smart

enough to care for themsel-

os unenjoyable. spot. i have to < little “bit cagey. in’ .wording

- be. ‘careful ‘not to. be’ ‘too ” your question; but Y think I.

get the .general . idea. ‘You |

[open —

STEWART: You are , being a a.

don’t like’: getting | ‘paid. for -

- something: you -are ‘opposed _
~to.and: you. cannot: ‘afford: to

lose’ your job” by voicing. your
i iS: or... refusal --

cooperate.
Position: to-influence .com-.
pany policy making, and if

you. want- your -income . to.

continue, then you’d: better

“go along’’ ‘with the. com-’
pany. However if, by. “going.

along’? you — find yourself _

+ . sickened by the ‘experience, _

“Or. ‘feeling: ‘puilty, or hypo-
-critical;:. then the <issue
deserves. your re-consider-
ation and re- -appraisal. -

“There may be a “short-cut _
for. you. Although. you say:
your objection is not on moral
grounds, if you find: yourself

a

yy awa | way
We OrECrs no

aa Saw . sew

ge nlaces: that ara enfovable.
te my iusband, even 4 they
are not my. first choices. a

For. example, 1 never

not bother me one little bit..1
don’t feel like I am being

manipulated or. bossed. I.

want: my husband . to be
happy and I want to be happy
and there are lots of ‘colours

_ besides green! But this is the
we _ catch. My good friend, who

is more: fiery-cyed about

"women’s lib than I am,
: thinks . I am as spiniess

coming true. The other time -
nothing. Now this time, I feel
so sure. that. some, good —
development is imminent.
Yet, because of that”. time |

. that nothing happened, I am

an little ‘fearful I am just

: talking, myself into expectan:

ey. and’ enjoying it. Am I
letting myself Into a let-down
do you think? — -

“STEWART: You may be.

!

dad

ves. 1 say “not quite’,
because I feel most of them

are very close to being able -

to handle their own recovery.

By the way, for a week or
so, why not spend some of
the energy you now use for
grouching about your dad’s
“‘unfairness’’, to figure out
why you want to get into the
very same mess he’s in?
‘Surely you don’t hate your-
‘self THAT much!

If-you are not. in a a

- mollycoddle for Jetting - my.

had no. thought. of being
- dictated | ‘to -until: ‘she said

anil hee?

- ainioe and i enbyig. have —
my frank approval. On: the
other hand, fam very happy
my marriage and love my.
. husband” deeply. I do- not

“chooses, ;
hesitate--in the least - to do os :

STEWART: Give her- your |
. .wholehearted permission

things and wear things and by. extending — to” you ‘the.

. eee MeZS. GS
‘person and permitting

ting.

dream of wearing a green. _ domination,

dress, ‘simply * ‘because [for _
'. some weird reason : ‘of: his’
own] my “husband | doesn’t
.. like me in green. That does

-knuckling: down. as. a second =
.¢lass citizen. As I'see it, you”
are_ making: your. choices.
- within your love relationship. |
. That’s what.it’s all about and [
your friend may see it all fF
- someday~if you ‘were not so .

“easily do. what she deplores

"may not be! I discovered that
‘when I had _ that..:sort ..of —

_ simply quietly open to it and

_ Page 15, January 25, 1978 - North Shore News

having” to. “set aside “your Bo
‘integrity: in: order” to follow foo. -
‘company ‘Policy, you can be foo.
_fairly cerfain it. just isn’t. 7.
worth ‘it. Don’t get all hot |.
under the collar'and quitina |”
huff just:because you think | => .~
your: porey would be. better | oe

your own higher § self, Shen, of
‘no matter how great the cost. J...
to you, in the long run you f.
oi do better to have none
of it

~ However, (and I know I am | a

; repeating myself)’ don’t be f°.’

‘dinky about “‘going along” |.
with the company. af the 7
‘matter is _ not -profoundly |

“important “to: “you. Swallow -—
your pride and fit in. -If it IS j-
important - then hang onto: f

your pride and your selfhood |
and refuse to knuckle down: |.

“Record ) your Favorite Wy programs. while you'r Te away

husband dictate [!]_ to me. I 1

_ Easy to > Operate : --Attractive styling -

what’ she did. How. can” my

- --Small Size

top
She so &

but invite’ her. ta”.
ractice what she’ preaches :

be upset with. you if

Roe ta Pay 2 uy, vo .
ge. of b being your own

You! ‘to e
choose: your "freedoms. as you -}.
desire:. You. are “not. ‘submit-:
to your . “husband's. [J
Mor... are you: | -

together, your friend could

by ‘robbing: you. of. some of .
your own chosen: freedoms.
Support her in choosing. her
own freedoms, but relieve.
her of the responsibility: of |
choosing yours! |

esa = outa wnsig

| 600 085

00 Oo

But, ‘more. importantly, you

5 UM a tee

feeling I want to talk about it:
before hand and I’ve learned |
that when I talked-about it, I
‘tended ‘to. exaggerate my
feelings or my excitement. I
-‘think I’ve. discovered why. y .

wanted to, IMPRESS- _ Wow & Flutter 0.1 % oe _
hearers wit ith the story ‘ind s i a | a So
something great was going to .

So now, when the sort of idea

I tried to make it as good as 7 | ae | me . es os .
happen and it did. You were’
comes to me that you have

possible, One reason for this as : mame a :
KDIS $9795
’ o - ‘ te :

so’ right’. “And 1 would”

had, | soft-pedal it and am

Frequency Response 20-16000 (chrome) ron oe
Signal to Noise Retio 56 dB improve by 10: dB above BIKH3. ran

‘was a desire to hear them tell

me, afterward, ‘Hey - .you

were right! You told ‘me

imagine they were saying to | ' 4
me, ‘‘Geethat's great - I wish a
I had your kind of insight’’).

bird sound i.

1266 LYNN VALLEY ROAD., N. VAN

prateful for it. One more -
sentence. Keep in mind that
great things can happen to |

you that. you may mot by the Dalry Queen
recognize at the the time.
For example, the time HARD TO FIND, BUT WELL WORTH IT I

‘nothing: happened”, a |
great deal may have happen: 7 |

‘ed =which you. did .- a
recognize. Keep open! | |

b
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