Can I quote
you on that?

THE ECONOMY may be a bit wobbly but there has been
great prosperity in the quotes department. And if you find
some naughty words, don’t shoot the messenger.

Boug
Collins

The mother of all battles has
begun. Saddam Hussein, on what
turned out to be the baby of all
battles.

Sorry, sir, We no longer take
American Express. Things are not
what they used to be. Baghdad
hotel man after the shooting had
started.

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
who’s the biggest crook of alt?
Headline in the Son (London) on
Robert Maxwell, formerly Jan
Ludwik Hoch, the Bouncing
Czech who robbed the Daily Mir-
ror Group's pension fund of ever
$4 billion; a financial rapist whe
amazed with other swindles, and
was given a state funeral in Isracl.

Last year, authorities deemed
the Husband and Wife Happiness
Gadget pornographic and
withdrew it from the shelves. It
has since reappeared under a new
name, Precious Male Instrument.
San Wong, Globe correspondent
in China, on a device said to
enlarge penises.

What a slut! Tory MP Bill
Kempling on Deputy Liberal
Leader Sheila Copps.

Sit down, Sambo. Tory MP
Jack Shields on Howard McCur-
dy, the black MP.

J have no time to deal with triv-
ialities. Prime Minister Brian
Baloney; to reporters, after he
called Winnipeg MP David
Walker a ‘‘f*****g bastard."’

The only good Tory is a sup-
posiTORY. Placard carried by
Public Service Allizgnce picket dur-
ing national! strike.

These guys are so low they
could get in under the door. Food
Bank official Jim Pottie; on
thieves who stole $3,000 and toys
intended for hundreds of poor
Surrey children.

Recommended by British ex-
patriots. Advertisement in North
Shore News for King’s Fare Fish
and Chips. (What, no presest pa-
triots? And please, teacher, how
do you spell expatriates?

i don't read much Canadian
stuff, it’s just not good exough.
Chuck Cook, MP, after saying the
$18-miliion subsidy to the book
publishing industry is a waste of
money.

Magic Johnson being a
spokesman for safe sex is like
Willian: Kennedy Smith being a
spokesman for Chivas Regal.
Howard Stern, New York open-
line radio host.

Your music makes my sternum
vibrate. Prince Chartes, on the
music of the North Shore's Bryan
Adams.

Give us the figures, Mike. Give
us the figures. Then-premier Rita
Johnston, appealing unsuccessful-
ty to the squirming Mike Harcourt
in that TV debate.

Start the music and let's boogie.
Mike Harcourt on election night.

I think the result stinks, just
stinks. Rita J. on election night.

It is no exaggeration to say that
homosexuality is a sterile,
disease-ridden and God-forsaken
relationship betweén human be-
ings. Dr. Adrian Rogers of Bri-

ON THE OTHER HAND

tain's Conservative Family Cam-
paign.

This plague cannot be fought
with a human rights slogan in one
hand and a condom in the other.
Dr. Lorraine Day on AIDS.

The washing-room on board
are located on the front (middle)
and back. Please don't forget to
butt the door while you use them.
Flight instruction ised by China
Southwest Airlines.

TL told her I'd vote for a skunk
so long as it wasn't Social Credit.
Logaa Lake teacher Barbara Ser!
after being told by a canvasser
that the NDP candidate was an
unemployed East Indian.

A good Scout is non-sexist,
non-homophobic, agnostic, an-
ti-nuke, gender-neutral,
multicuttural, matriarchal, anti-
dead-white European male, and
anti fur! Caption on cartoonist
Camoo’s depiction of s Canadian
scout at the salute.

Condoms in prisons by
Christmas. Headline in the Globe
& Mail.

We see lots of travelling bu-
reaucrats. Maybe that's what they
meant by more tourisin. Hotel
owner in the Queen Charlottes; on
the creation of a national park in
South Moresby that was pushed
by eco-freaks.

Vote for the crook. It’s impor-
tant. Bumper sticker boosting
€dwin Edwards, David Duke's
opponent in the Mississippi eiec-
tion.

The Republicans take care of
the sich, the Democrats take care
of the blacks, and David Duke
takes care of the whites.
Mississippi voter.

The GST will not be an issue in
the next six months. Optimist Ot
to Jelinek. minister of revenue:
last January.

More violence is directed
against males than against women.
Neil Graham, executive director of
the Province; to hissing ter-
magants at a national Women in
the Media conference.

Shut up, you racist bastard.
Demonstrator, pop-eyed with
rage, (o your man Doug at the
“anti-racism rally’’ in front of the

North Shore News.
3

NVSB chairman elected

RICHARD WALTON was elected
the new chairman of the North
Vancouver District 44 School
Board (NVSB) at its inaugural
meeting Dec. 10.

Rev. Roy Dungey was elected
vice-chairman.

Outgoing chairman Marg Jessup
said she appreciated the support
she received from other board

members and staff.

‘In a time of increasing enrol-
ment and diminishing funds and
in a difficult year, the school
board has operated in a prudent
manner,’” said Jessup. ‘‘I've ap-
preciated a very supportive board
and administrative staff during a
difficult time.’’

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