@ - Sunday, January 15, 1989 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Boss’s confidences
cam pose a probiem

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I have worked for a corpora- is 15. Many people often get us
tion for two years. My boss and I have become very close
co-workers (there is nothing between us — he just talks to
me as a good friend) and he has confided in me numereas

times.

His wife bas been cheating on
him for about six months, but he
stil! loves her. He keeps teiling her
that with time the marriage will
work.

I know of this becanse it is my
brother, whom I love dearly, that
his wife is having the affair with. I
don’t know if I should tell my boss
who it is, because I don’t want my
brother hurt in any way.

i do fee! that once my boss finds
out it is my brother his wife is
with, I will probably be fired.

fy brother tslks to me and tells
me she isn't kappy with ber hus-
band and she wants to be free
from kim. He says that they really
love each other and want to be
together ali the time.

GENTLE READER — Hasn’t
Miss Manners always argued that
no good would come of mixing
friendship with business? You are
quite right that when your boss
discovers that you listened to con-
fidences, while holding conflicting
loyalties and withholding relevant
information, he is going to be
furious. .

Not that Miss Manners thinks
you should tell. Violating your
brother’s confidence is no act of
virtue, either.

Your second-best hope (the first
is finding a new job where you will
keep everything on a businesslike
basis) is to tell your bess now that
you feel wrong about having heard
his secrets and have’ resolved to
forget them. Lei us hope that he is
tolerant of your transgressicn as he
is of his wife’s.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
Several months ago, a close rela-
tive and his fiancee terminated
their engagement. This was quite a
lavish ocension with more thas 100
im attendance. Quite a bit of
money and mesay gifts were given
thew Sy relatives and others. The
intended groom tamed everything
ever to his fiancce.

Sisee the engagement was
broken, shouldn’t the intended
bride retara the meaty and gifis,
as the anios did got come stout? I

know wedding presents are not
returned.

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners is so mesmerized by the
idea of 100 people assembling at a
lavish occasion to watch an
engagement being terminated that

miss
manners
Judith Martin

she can hardly answer what is
probably a very simple question.
Engagement or wedding presents
should all be returned if the wed-

— It
am 13 years of age, and my sister

ding does not take place.
BEAR MISS

OFF 20% OFF

mixed up. § get called my sister's
name and vice versa.

We are not twins, but (otal
strangers will come up and ask us
if we are. This doesn't bother me,
bot I want to know what is the
most corvect and poliie way to tet
others know we are not twins, or
just simply that they called us by
the wrong names,

GENTLE READER — As just
about all twins, and a great many
other people, have had to learn, a
great deal of patience is required in
dealing with this problem, But one
must bear with well-mcant,
understandable mistakes. Just keep
politely repeating, ‘‘No, I’m
Denise — Victoria is my older
sister’’.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I
am a married professional women
who has kept ber maiden name. I
have had few problems with
clients, friends or colleagues.

However, I continue to te of-
fended and stuned by the
anknown, unidentified telephone
caller. How may I respond to the
person who kas been advised that
“Mr. Jonea’’ is not home, and
then continues, “May I speak with
Mrs. Jones?”’

As I do sect
volees, I do not wish to identify
myself, as I would at work or to
friends.

GENTLE READER — How
fortunate you are; why are you
complaining about a system that
instantly exposes strangers mas-
querading as acquaintances? You
need only reply politely, ‘There is
no Mrs. Jones.”’

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