SSA ONC en cae PSYCHIATRIST HELPS SOLVE FAMILY BATTLES Pic THINGS OFTEN get ugly when families fall apart. By MICHAEL BECKER News Reporter North Vancouver family psychiatrist Dr. David Bertner has built his local practice as a specialist often called in to the family court system to help pick up the pieces. Custody tug-of-wats are the common focus of broken family disputes and can drag on for years, strangling court time and the com- bined resources of all parties in- volved. DIVORCE Divorce-related problems repre- sent half of Bertner’s local prac- tice. Over the years he’s developed a speciality area in contested custody access cases and works closely with lawyers. He assesses the children and parents involved and attempts to mediate an understanding be- tween parents to agree.to a rea- sonable access order for the child. Usual access orders decided in court give the non-custodial parent access every other weekend and one Thursday during the week that the child is not with the alternate parent. Bertner acts as a mediator for changes to access provisions once the initial access order has been established. ‘‘Sometimes what happens is that you have a parent feeling that the other parent is af- fecting the child adversely. So they want a special consideration that the other parent can't have access to the child,”’ he said. | pipes each .He grew g ORDICA 10-12 yrs. Bertner’s opinions tend to carry weight in court. ‘‘I’ve had about 50 cases go tv court over six years on the North Shore and my opi- nion has been upheld in each and every one of them,”’ he said. He describes his role as that of a child advocate in a system where a young child’s destiny is often used as a bargaining chip in a bitter adult game. Most custody cases are dragged out for years. Said Bertner: ‘‘Some are resolv- ed, but I only see the acrimonious ones. I see the broken-down ones where most parents are acting like children and the lawyers are tear- ing out their hair and they don’t want to spend $40,000 to $50,000 in court to resolve these things. “Bach parent can easily run through that kind of money over a couple of years. The process is awful to watch. The acrimony is really something. A lot of the cases I see, I don’t see the parents in one zoom together,’’ he said. JOINT CUSTODY Roxane Sieben, 31, a divorced North Vancouver mother of four, and her 35-year old ex-husband are’ currently seeing Bertner for counselling in an effort to find a mutually agreeable access ar- rangement. She was awarded custody of the children, an 8%-year-old daughter, a 62-year-old daughter and two sons, one five and one 24% years old. Her husband sees them every second weekend and on alternate Thursdays. “It hasn’t been easy. We want _ to’ see if we can work an access out. Joint custody is great for two adults who can get along and 5 in your ski budget? ing up the pieces communicate but we haven’t reached that point yet,’ said Sieben. She admits the bulk of the hurt from the separation and divorce has been felt by the children. “They've been hurt in this most, definitely. Mainly they’re all con- fused. If you were here and saw my children every day, they don’t look like they're suffering. But I’m sure they are hurting just because they can’t see him,”’ Sieben said. ‘hope that it gets worked out. In a fresh separation, it’s really hard because of the bitterness. Hope- fully that wiil get worked out soon.”’ Bertner and family court judges look to the best interest of a child. In most cases best interest means working toward a liberal access ar- rangement. ACCESS Said Bertner: ‘If both parents are relatively sane, they don’t have severe manic depressive illness, they don’t have schizophrenia, alcoholism or severe sociopathic character traits, then it’s probably in the dest interest of the child to have a liberal degree of access to the non-custodial parent.’’ Up until the age of 12 years, parents can argue for custody or access in front of a judge. After the age of 12 years in general, the child is given a wide degree of lati- tude. But Bertner has seen the courts order a 14 year old to see a parent. But said Bertner: ‘‘The whole degree of access belongs to the child. It is not that the parents have a right to the access of the child, the child has a right to tl : access of the parents.”’ | The affordable alternative * Ski equipment that fits for two seasons * Skis that are properly maintained * Skis that are the proper length * Boots that are the correct size all the time * You may exchange boot sizes and ski lengths at any time * ... and keep them at home.all for one low price SX SKIS SSSRIFESS TFIFL 90 ae ves, you or HIGH PER ESTINATION SKI RENTALS Ak 13-17 years FORMANCE GEAR ON OUR PROGRAM 1160 Marine Drive North Vancouver 984-7191, 984-4394 pen daily ay, October 14, 1987 -' North Shore News 4 41 Wedne Ask Dr. Ruth PAGE 45 NEWS photo Nail Lucente ROXANE SIEBEN is one of hundreds of North Shore families currently going through a divorce and custody battle. Pictured with Sieben are her children: six-year-old Stephanie (left foreground); five-year-old Mikel (right foreground); 22-year-old Gerry (in Sieben’s arms) and eight- year-old Lyanne.