F reelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart » ma y be reached at 261- 6242 | eae forappointmenis for individual, family or group counselling. His new “:. Office in the International Plaza Hotei fOpen Tuesda ys. only) is ‘for the — con venience e of North Shore residents. ~ QUESTION: Tam a 16-year- -old girl and I'm getting very temper, When I blow my top, _ _ and a half or so, I really blow — _ fit. It’s almost like I used to to dump a 1female . co-worker and ‘frien “ - now’ I just let it fly. That is . not the fact, because I really "am trying to. control myself, . but P'm saying that it seems’ Uke Pve just quit trying. ° When. rE get sind: nothing : QUESTION: I*used to feel phoney my ‘manvfactured worrled_ about my . bad especially in the last year. try to.control my temper but — quite above reading your silly column (as:I thought of .. it then) but I read it anyway couple of: times ~and- discovered that you are not just dishing out sentimental imavice to the lovelormm,” but . are willing to give answers to your writers’ questions even when they are querying you von “heavy” problems, not ‘just how to handle adate. My “heavy problem” is this. I own my own business and have a very able female associate. Naturally, we are thrown together a lot, ‘in- cluding two-or three-day ‘business trips’ _occasionally. -My - wife, who bs a very ‘suspicious Person ‘ahyway, says she won't stand still-for my. business life coutinnting as it is. : Tam good friends with my business. — associate’. neither. of .us: sees. wrong in our socializing a bit — which we do. When my wife found out about this by the sheerest accident, you'd think I had robbed a bank. She was. completely unreasonable. . Now, if I'm going to keep the security of my home and marriage, I have to let my associate go. My question is, what is the decent way to dump my associate? STEWART: At times I feel almost certain I’ve got a etter.” ‘iate/ girlfriend? and “ “But” Viv answer “anyway. “Why “dump” your assoc- Why not “dump” your wife? .Oh yes, ‘you want the “security” of your home and ‘marriage, don’t you. You seem to have no ‘sensible - reason to “dump” your. friend ‘other than to. - You: ‘seem to have no goodreason to be loyal and faithful to. - your wife other than your: - “security” : (some security!) -- so [have a feeling your best. - bet is.to become a better liar...” and cheat.and. learn to. sneak os around with less chance of - appease’ your - wife. : getting Caught. - “You probably. wife. Surely you can do better than that. Pull up your socks and learn to cheat better, so you'll be able to’ _ get away with it indefinitely. If you get tired of that sort of thing and would like to consider a much more rewarding way, let's get together and talk it over. ‘You three poeple are ALL getting the dirty end of the stick and that’s just too much dirty stick for people who have as much potential for That's beautiful timing! QUESTION: What about the old phrase, “You only have one iife to live?” Do you. believe that? I am serious. STEWART: If you are serious about your question, you'll probably resent the fact that I have a bit of difficulty being serious about it. This life that I'm in the midst of, and cnjoying immensely, let’s me hope I'll have two or five more goes at it, but there’s no way I'm going to build up some specific expectations about the possibilities. If the plan is that I’m to keep at it ‘til I get it right, I imagine I'll have a lot more chances. But that may not be the plan. One hunch I've had I'm quite happy to share with you. I have the fecling that if it's in the books for us to experience this sort of life repeatedly, the best kind of preparation for the next time round is to experience to the full all that is available to us in the here and now. T don’t know anything at all about tomorrow, buat today is right here right now and so am I. That's beautiful timing! HAYDEN STEWART will be the speaker at UNITY CHURCH OF THE NORTH SHORE Meeting at F.O.E. Hall 170 W., 3rd St. North Vancouver Sunday 14th Oct. 11:00 a.m. love. and joy as anyone else. ‘problem described forme to ,has. 9° 2. 8 : consider and. respond..to..I feel” ‘that. way. about your ‘Stops: me: from yelling and *. erying ‘and ‘throwing ‘things ‘There's. ‘more for you. than “feel oa : : failure” ‘over being. sloppy enough to be caught by your 4 Panasonic. . MICRO-WAVE OVEN - Don't settle for. _chaos..._-and-swearing like you. would _ not believe. The other. day, for the first. time in my life I _Swore. at. -~ ‘something awful. _ though I felt terrible about it my . mother Even . Fitness is fun. afterwards and apologised T - all over the map, I can still be ry some. hear. the I said to her and the things I called her. . The Panasonic Genius |i Micro-wave oven ... probably the finest micro-wave in the world today. Now, it's SALE PRICED AT COLONY for un- beatable value. Come in and see for yourseflt. The amazing Panasonic Genius |! allows you to ° forget about time, power, temperature or turning. The oven will do it all for you - automatically! This is the newest, the very best and now at COLONY, specially priced tor outstanding value. Two sizes. Large 1.3 cu.ft. Medium .9 cu.ft I love my mom and never want to hurt her, but she was hurt real badly by what I said. She says to me now, . “Forget it. We all have these _ times when we do things we _.don’t really want to do.” Of course that made me feel worse still, but when I heard that, I was not angry, I ‘was just ashamed and sad.. Where will this temper take me? I'm scared of what I might: do sometime. things about which it.would . -make sense for you-to get. er fly off the handle ‘STEWART: There are two . help. You. need_ help - in “developing. for yourself a way to handle your: temper as long as you have it, so you. will not hurt. yourself--or - anyone else, either ‘emotionally | or physically, And you need help in better: understanding what your anger is and how to rid * yourself of it. "Page C5, October 10, 1979 - North Shore News _ 1 am “hoping ‘that ° your jetter to this column represents your. Starting: to do acteristic of about a Ae your kind “of situation is quite’ related ‘to ~ your physical. condidition. So I -Yecommend ‘that you start off with a thorough physical checkup including an examination. of — your . chemical balance. and your nutrition. ° oe “But in addition, do’ get yourself related. to a ‘counsellor with whom you can talk things over unhurriedly. Perhaps | the - counselling may. become family oriented: rather. than just concentrating on you. Lots of teenagers these days are -going through your sort of turmoil; and lots of them are coming. out ¢ on m top! ; HOME FURNISHINGS 1860 LONSDALE AVENUE (AT 19TH) NORTH VANCOUVER 985-8738 (OPEN EVERY THURSDAY & FRIDAY UNTIL 9)