Bob Hunter @ strictly personal ® I SEE the Transcendental Meditation folks are still at it, trying to levitate. Their latest trick nov is bounc- ing. They squat on come kind of trampoline, I guess, and bounce. One guy got 22 inches into the air. It’s called ‘vogie flying.” As more ancl more people meditate, more and more will levitate, the TM) people believe. They'll be able to 99 from boun- cing to hovering and = then “movement through the air.” Hey, I’m allin favor! Not uly that, but | secretly believe it can be done. It feels so logical. I've been levitating — in my dreams, at any rate — since | asa child. Don’t tell me dreams don't count! In fact, the very first dreams | can recall were of hanging in some kind of baby swing with my toes just a few inches above the ground, [t wasn’t a Jolly Jumper, because we didn't have them in those days, but something very close. slowly. Closer and closer came the beasties. Then, just as they'd pounce, Pd wake up squawking. It was, as they say. a recurring nightmare. Atter a few years the grey creatures went away. to be replaced fater in my dreamscapes by visions of devastated post- nuclear cities. That phase has passed, too, strungely. Now | just go anywhere and everywhere. The levitating hasn't stopped, however. Never did. | suppose | levitate in) my = dreams maybe three times a year. Each flight is different. Some- times J have soared effortlessly, as though swimming underwater in a depressurized ocean, right up to the edge of space, with the lights of great cities no larger than glittering thumbnails beneath me. Once, up there, I got to watch sunrise along the vast flaming arc “Another memorable levitated journey was the time 1 was hired by the Queen to do some spy work at Buckingham Palace.’’ Except that it didn’t hook on to anything. I was in the swing, attached to nothing but the sky above. f was just floating there. It would have been terrific ex- cept that I was out in an open field. And across from the far side of the field were these grey shapes, sort of like wolves but also like monsters. And they were coming for me. Well, have you ever tried to move a floating baby swing that’s not attached to anything across an open field with monsters com- ing after you? Grunt. Whimper. It moved, but agonizingly of the globe. There I was, drif- ting like a leaf at about half the heigh: of a space shuttle ii orbit. Say, 60 miles. I think I was probably wearing a bathing suit. This sounds weird, I know. But it’s only dreams. Another memorable levitated journey was the time I was hired by the Queen to do some spy work at Buckingham Palace. They needed somebody who could move about without feav- ing any footprints. iasy for me. I'd just glide alone a foot or so off the ground. ! don’t remember how the LEGAL SERVICES LYNN VALLEY CENTRE 9:00-5:30 10:00-1:00 * Weekdays ¢ Saturdays LM Evening Appointments 984-3366 Uninal consultation without fees GARY BALDWIN LAWYER AT LAST iilley LONG SHORTS Flegant comtonable ana great lor traveling on! Deon practical puckets © Seccet passpen pucaet © Hidden roll up tub to show more leg you want « Fast drying nuaron polycotton (knaks of whites for strength ang comfort» Wasting instructhons Cave em nell!» Spitty staintess steel D-ring tepored') « FIVE-YEAR FREE REPLACEMENT GUARANTEE. The mens verwon nas ten bach bochets with espandaple pleats ang full Velcro flap clasures lor secunty Buea Talley Scott Purves’ size 28 navy Tilley Shorts ($58) have a dream ended, but | do recill teel- ing quite proud te hase been chosen by Her Majesty. She was really turned on when f gave her a demo. Imagine one of HER subjects being able fo do that! I've never done a Superman - that is, take a virb ua thers inimys arms, | oalways doit alone. Too bad. Once, | owas trapped in it barbwitre and hur. ane fence compound, facing a small army of tough guys who'd been ordered to get me. (At least f THINK tt was a dream...) They were so sure they fad me cor- nered! [ decided to lay a littke power- levitwing number on them, so I lept into the air and did high- speed barrel rolls and three- dimensional figure-cights just over their aeads. By the Gme I was finished they were all stan- ding at attention, awaiting my orders. Now isn’t that a nice dream? I didn’t use violence. Yet 1 won. All I had to be able to do was skate around in the air. Luckily no one decided to take a shot. But then, that wouldn't be fair. It was MY dream. Let us say levitating is tike sex. It’s fun, virtually, no matter what. There are far too many dreams, nowever, when | actually have to work at getting off the ground. That is, I'll be sitting there, straining as though going to the loo, except in reverse, if you follow. It still seems to in- volve stomach muscles. But then I’m up, and it’s worth it. Usually there’s a limit. The limit might turn out to be, say, 12 feet, or it might be a mile. Varies. | like levitating. it’s a lot of fun. But I do it best when I’m laying down. New rudder steers course to success A DERP COVE naval architect's new rudder could revolu- tionize the tow boat industry and steer barge transport into competition with the international shipping industry. ity ROSS MEER News Reporter Mackenzie, owner of North Vancouver's Total Naval Technological Associates ine. CENT). tecentl invented an active flap cudder that allows seagoing barges to be steered from the boat that is towiny them, While the concept seems simple, the result could reduce towing fuel costs as much as 30 per cent and even atlaw barge transport ta take over some transport presently testricted to shipping. Barges lack steering and must be towed. Tow boats require enor- mous amounts of fuel to campen- sate for the effect that wind and tides have on the direction of the barge. Mackenzie's solution was to design a functional and economical steering system for seagoing barges. The design is a two-fapped rudder that could be controlled with a half-horsepower engine. The rudder was to be radio-con- trolled and computer-programm- ed. Joho FINANCING With a $120,000 financing from Energy, Mines and Resources Canada’s conservation and alter- nate energy program, Mackenzie built a prototype and sea trials proved highly successful. The rudder prototype was at- tached to Seaspan’s barge #821 and tested behind the tow boat Seaspan Pacer. Even though the barge was equipped with skegs, attachments at the barge’s stern which improve directional capability but increase drag by 10 to 40 per cent, the barge travelled 1.25 knots faster while applying the same horsepower. Fuel consumption was reduced 30 per cent. While the new rudder can be in- stalled on existing seagoing barges to save fuel cost, the real applica- tion for the rudder could be with hew barges, explains Mackenzie. Barges equipped with steering capabiliaes could be designed with Ship-style hulls, which have bows that cut through the water, rather than spoon or bluff shaped bows, which just plough over the waves, “Tt is amore efficient to use barges and tow boats,’” Mackenzie said, And the efficiencies are realized two ways he says. First, tow boats can be as much TOTAL Naval Technological Assoc. Inc. owner John Macken- zie...rudder makes barges and tow hoats more efficient. as 50 per cent more fuel efficient. Second -—- fike truck trailers — barges can be left at a port while the tow boat and crew are sent off for another job. The rudder consists of two ver- tical sections, the panel on the trailing edge being the active or powercd part. A small power-pack controls the flay-, and as it moves, the effect of the water flowing past it turns the large, unpowered panel of the rudder. Mackenzie’s first meodel was made from the flight of a dart stuck in a block of wood. It was tested in his bath tub. NEW 240 CARTON WARNING: Health & Wellare Canada advises ihat danger to health increases with amount smoked- avoid inhaling LIFETIME (transferable) FREE REPLACEMENT GUARANTEE. So does his Tilley Hat ($38). Sue's Tilley Cotton Shirt ($39) WON'T SHRINK and is NO-IRON. Drop in, Phone or Write Mon.-Sat. 10-5 Barbare Tilley 980-2631 1559 Pemberton Ave., N.V. “NORTH VANCO BURNABY, SURREY |: SET Capitano Mall Lougheed Malt Guitdtord Malt