I see that a new study concludes that ‘most

North American males don’t want to be con-

sidered macho.

Hm. , .

-I wonder what Charles
Atlas would say. about all
this. I wonder what my Dad
would. say. ‘What* would »

Twentieth ©
Unabridged - "dictionary
doesn: have the word..

reporter. Tm some: ‘kind of
Clark Kent. stereotype. .

I mean, sometimes it
seems as though the ground
trembles ‘in awe as I stalk
across:it; and sometimes it

(UPC) - Does: Fido tend to
come down’ with some
strange and expensive doggy
disease whenever your cash
flow is at its lowest. ebb?
Does Fluffy have an uncanny
ability to contract hairball
syndrome when the bills are
due?

West Vancouver  in-
surance agent Peter
Faulkner plans this summer
to offer insurance coverage
for veterinary fees to help
local pet owners avoid those
big medical bills. For $150,
thatis. —

The policy, called Pet-
Gard, would cover claims

Shipment just arrived from England

seems as though women are
drawn to me by some kind of

atavistic male magnetism

that they're powerless to
«resist, but there gctually.

_-aren’t any computer. read-
- -Quts to back this up.
“.. Nobody's studied- me in that
a “Hind of detail.

- What rm: ‘trying to © say,

swithout. having to flick my —

trousers. up..to reveal the

- cable-like . . tendons . ‘of my
calves, is that I really don’t
- think of myself as being
“Particilarly macho. ;

god standing there, staring
ack? “Well, you know,
except for the beard, the
receding hairline, the

paunch, the skinny legs, the -

slipped disc and the missing
teeth.....
But then, nobody said that

to be. strong or virile ‘or

exaggerated you had to be

for veterinary bills for a
household cat or dog over
six months and under cight
years old, Faulkner said in a
published interview.

With a $50 deductible
clause and a 15-day waiting
period, the policy would pay
Single claims up to $1,000 to
a total of $2,000 a year.

It would not be Faulkner’s
first foray into the world of
pet insurance.

-In 1975, -he offered
Petshield for $35, but pulled
it off the market 18 months
later because the agency was
paying out $1.25 for every
dollar collected in

ognize the Greek

Te

pretty.
line from the recent boxing
movie ‘where ‘the ‘hero, -a
really gross madman, said of
his opponent before the
fight: -“He’s so beautiful I
don't know whether to fight
him or .....

You can be as ugly as a-
ten-headed toad and still be
macho. It's got something to
do with your lower nature.

: “That is, it’s sort of below-

the-belt stuff.

But to tell you the truth,
even though I'm. ugly, I still
don’t feel macho. ‘And I can
relate to.the dilemma.-of -all
you other :non-maclio: North
American men .who .afe
constantly: . being ‘sexually
harassed ©. stereo’
‘because of -some:: ‘primitive
nonsense about your. in-
credible, “irresistible
machismo.

It’s a pain. A real pain.

It’s not that you can blame
women for their inability to..
control: the urge to. throw -
themselves at your feet, is it?”

I mean, it’s all sort of an’
animal thing that théj‘re
really not responsible for.

And let_us not shy away.

premiums.

The Ontario Humane
Society’ withdrew its
Veticare policy three years
ago after losing moncy on it
for 10 years.

Tom Hughes, executive
director of the society, said
several pet insurance
schemes in the United States
‘had also gone  droke,
basically because people
didn’t care enough about
their pets.

“I wish Mr. Faulkner the
best of luck, but the big
weakness in his scheme is
that animal. life. is very
cheap,” Hughes said.

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from the: question of just
what role machismo plays
among males who find other
males more -attractive than
females. Some of those guys
are cight feet tall! “y ”

Virility. “There's the rub.

If you've procreated,
you're. macho — c¢ven if
you're a wimp. There’s no
way. around it.

“But shucks. I don’t wantto
be: macho. Tm normal. I

American: Lanes Ta ‘rather “
be appreciated for. my
originality... my pleasant.
nature.... my ideas..... my
winning smile..:.. .
Anything: but that heavy
savage, -primeval bull energy _
that radiates outward from:
me no matter how hard I try
to pretend it isn't happening. ‘

Its tough being a stud.

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