WE WERE driving along, my wife came up of old flames. I's not a topic that comes up all that often. My wife was married to some- one else before she married me, so, obviously, she had at least one old flame. But there have been hints that in her youth there were, er, MANY old flames. How many? Well, she's actual- ly quite evasive. This is wise. The particular old flame that sparked the conversation had reappeared in her (life in the form of a middle-aged man, los- ing hair, wearing glasses, dragg- ing along a couple of teenage kids. She'd plimpsed him in a supermarket. (This is MY description, by the way. The actual wosds my wife used were probably something jike athletic, well-preserved. nice buttocks.) Anyway, they had talked amiably, their facial expressions giving away little of their past scorching relationship to his two teenage kicls, but their eyes -— | imagine —- searched cach other's for a trace o, that old glint. (Of course it MAY have been, as she claims, that thev just said hi, asked about each oifier’s farn- ilies, and carried on. Sure.) Now, ! like to pride myself on being reasonable, rational and very much in control of my emo- tions. Others fall back screeching with laughter when they hear this, But it’s part of my self- image, so | continue to pretend to be cool. The conversation about the old Bob Hunter ® strictly personal ® and {, and the topic that, since we were on the topic of the ‘SOs or thereabouts, 1 mentioned I'd recently seen an actual old-style drive-in movie screen, still standing. Foolish as it perhaps was, | voiced wt nostalgic view of the good old days, pulling into a drive-in with booze, cigarettes and a girl, having to roll the windows down after because of the steam. That led to a dittle teasing remark, My wife is seven years younger than me, you see, so our cultural paths didn't always overlap. “TD guess you missed the drive- in eva, eh?" | chortled. There was a pause, longer than there should have been, followed by a wry smirk: ‘‘What makes you think that?’ Somchow, | could tell she was thinking about the old flame she'd just met. Or at least that's the cenclusion | lept to. “Come on, tell me about it,”” | coaxed. ‘‘Was it with HIM?" “As a matter of fact, yes."" “More than once?"’ She nodded. The smirk sull there. Well, I'd asked this, hadn’t 1? “Often enough,"’ shamelessly. I swallowed that. After a while, | managed to say faintly: ‘tHe was the only one, though.” She looked away, cheeks puff- ing up with air to choke back the gust of laughter about to burst forth. We drove in. silence, her was for she said she said: “You know, even if [ wanted to, I couldn't really tell you aaything because you get se uplight."' “Who me?" 1 snarled. “Don't be absurd. Um totally calm." “Then why have you been clicking the emergency brake on and off for the fast. five minutes?" Indeed, my stupid thumb was pressing and releasing the brake button spasmodically. “Huh! [ sneered. You call that tense?" But she was right. The lonely old existential hero was just about having a conniption. When [| was an adolescent, | was hopelessly jealous, even about girls who didn’t know my name. I'm mature now, ho ho, so it follows that 1 should have outgrown such childish impulses. Eo ho again. , OF course, Pm not the world’s only jealousy creep. I know a guy who, in a fit of honesty shortly after getting married, told his wife the names of all the women he had got it on with. Since then, if he runs into any of them anywhere, he can't even look in their direction without his wife freaking out, let alone be able to enjoy a charmingly nostalgic conversation. Who said honesty was the best policy in relationships? Some kind of Commie, if you ask me. I, myself, have a few secrets sdll. [ think UH just keep them that way. Not big secrets, you understand. More in the nature of interesting anecdotal material for a sex manual. And my wife, 1 swear, will never know! hosts ree Kk fest “No one throws a purty better than a Greek. We're a fun- loving pecple and we love to throw a party. If the enthusiasm of Paul Hur- muses is any indication, the Greek Festival happening this Saturday and Sunday at North Vancouver's Waterfront Park will be a lively affair for all to enjoy. Organized along the lines of Vancouver’s immensely popular Greek Day, che festival will feature costumed dancers, music and food galore. The traditional Greek fare will include souvlaki, spinach pie, baklava and = several big, juicy lambs — minus the wool — to be roasted ever so slowly over a spit. There will also be a historical display on the golden age of an- cient Greece from the Minoan civi- lization in 3000 B.C. to the third century B.C., highlighting a cast of iNustrious characters such as Alex- ander the Great and his father Phillip. RAISE AWARENESS Hurmuses, chairman of the North Shore Hellenic Society, said the festival will serve to raise awareness about the ethnic identity of the greater Vancouver Greek community, which includes about 1,000 people on the North Shore. The festival will also help Greeks get to know each other, he added. The Hellenic society is one of six ” Greater Vancouver Greek organizations taking part in the festival. Each organization will run a feod booth, But the festival organizers are especially hoping food sales at the event will bolster fund-raising ef- forts for a Greek Orthodox church to be constructed on a yet-to-be determined site on the North Shore. GENERATE INTEREST “We hope this event will generate interest (about the church project) not only amongst our people, but people all over the North Shore,”’ he said. North Shore Greeks currently congregate one Saturday a month at St. Clements Anglican church in Lynn Valley. Hurmuses said he hopes about $1 million will be raised by 1988 to fund their church. Although Greeks on the North Shore form a cohesive group, the community sorely needs a church, he said: ‘‘We have to have a meeting place. St. Clements has been very generous, but there's no place like home.”’ The festival runs from H1 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday, and 11] a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday. Negotiate Your Own. Separation Agreement holding her breath. After a white, when she had composed herself, ‘Family Law.Mediation is a new approach for the resolution of matrimonial disputes For more information: Doug Crawford Family Law Mediator Bradbrooke, Crawford & Green Lawyers 600-171 West Esplanade North Van. 980-8571 boyfriend would have died except District eligible for funds DISTRICT OF NORTH VAN- SOUVER residents are now eligi- ble for the Federal Residential Rehabilitation Assistance Program (RRAP), A total of $96,000 in RPAP funds is available in 1986 in the District of North Vancouver. The RRAP_ program Of course, she'll never ASK. must requir jajor repitirs. The RRAP program in the District of North Vancouver is administered by Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC). Any interested resident should call CMHC, RRAP Department at 731-5733, grants in the form of forgivable loans of up to $5,000. These are available to low in- come homeowners to finance basic household repairs. Grants are available if house- hold income falls below established income ceilings. offers In order to be eligible, a home FOR YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING CONVENIENCE PARK ROYAL SHOPPING CENTRE Open 10am-6pm, Mon.-Wed. 10am-9pm, Thurs. & Friday 9:30am-5:30pm Saturday Noon-5pm Sunday PARK ROYAL 20 RY