page 2 - April 14, 1976 -

Okay, ulcer.

1 concede.! "il listen to you.
“Enough, already.

“That's more like it, bos.
Ulcers can’t spel but we can

get our mesage  acros,
- tight?”’ i -
That's _ right. There’s

nothing like a duodcz2! fire
to get my attention. What is.
it you want?. a

“These ar our demands: .

Dont send down that stuff
any mor or yer going to have.
' to get the District. Fire.
mee glans to Put out: ‘the.
‘next one.’ ‘

Those who. delight in stiff because’

penalties ‘for any and. all
-young offenders should take
a full measure of perverse .
. pleasure’ from. this tale of .
woe, submitted by~ Barb. .
- Keen, one of our staff at the
North Shore News,..and a.
. mother of eight.

. Last December, Barb’s
_ 17-year-old son received: a
form letter from ‘the North.
_ Vancouver’ RCMP, :warning |
-him that’ his payment of a
“parking ticket _ issued. in-
October was. ‘Sangerously |
overdue.

The catch | is that, the: Jad
- had. never seen the afore-
mentioned parking ticket.
Either the wind had. blown it
from ‘his windshield, or. a.
‘local prankster had removed
it. We shall never. know,

Dear Sis

Tears of sympathy ‘didn't °

flow from my eyes. when I

read ‘our resident gour- |

_mand’s defense’ of British:
Properties ‘at: door" gar.
bage Pick-up.

‘Taverna, George Alexander
‘should i digest some facts. ‘

Circutaton: 46,000

an ‘Founded: In 1960 a8 an Independent, 7
ar ‘community: nowspapor,, ‘the: North: Shore.

~ ‘News Is published weekly; and: ‘dletributed: |.
v,) t0 every door on. the. North’ Shore. Itls.a. P
"” registered newspapor. “under. Part

oN, Schodule Itt, Paragraph, " of the Custome

and Exolao Aot.-; fe

. Cluclited
, Clreviation

. of 10. In the midst of fines

oe ‘pea
00.8484,

eats a7

What ‘“‘stuff??? Dr. Bob
” Strang gave me this piece of
paper with all the things I’m
not supposed to eat. You
must be kidding about his
list.. :

“Were not kidding. We
had a real stormy. meeting.
down here at. Ulcer Gulch,
and the. decision was unani-

- mous. You mite have notised .

the meeting—heh, heh.”’

Noticed it? It reminded me jj -
_of the- ‘Burrard » Terminals. Trak

fire!
“Enuff of

or were going to touch off-the’

_. Great Fire. of 1976. ” _

the

and took it to the courthouse
to pay his fine.

“grave offence, so the- youth.

was told’ that: he: could not
beggar | off:by ‘simply: paying’ -
a fine on the spot, but would”
have to wait, for © a- court

‘summons.

- When’ thee court ‘date came

small catastrophe in a family .

West Van: council, in a
unanimous | .vote,.
ordered Properties residents
to bring | their trash ‘to the

roadside like everyone else in :
the municipality. -(They’ve:
been given a two-month. :
period of Brace, however.) an
Instead of digesting extra. )
fioghera “at the Kypriaki_

George ‘maintains

, Publisher .

“| Photographer.”
Advertising Mansoor

We Marna:

: Roadh,

them corny. | -
jokes. This is serius. Either 5 ©
you pay attention to yer diet .

- ticket was
apparently placed on the —
-windshield in the wee ‘Small z
hours. woe egy ot

_ policeman told him it didn’t

recently ;

that :
Since . Properties residents —
«pay higher taxes they des-

Heather’. ‘Andraws,
Yvonne Chapman, Carolyn Colaclough, Helen.”
Dickey, : Linda Douglas, “Paula, Ford, : Linda.
- Green, Waridy Groon, Carol Hasson, Barbara’
° Haywood,Randy. Hillhouso, Bernle Hillard,” .
2 denne: Johnaon, «Torry. : fohneon, : Borbara,
“aon, Mike Keoh,, Botay Knight, Joyce Lawry,
Leroy, ° ., Faye!’
MoCrao,: dossip. Marke, ‘Jill Pless,” Maurean -
ansoor ‘Shivjl,’.Lelgh: Anno: Stym,

A Lelren

. &

"by Peter Speck
But.. -no coffee?

No fried chicken? ‘No. raw -
vegetables? - are

“Nope. And no , pineapple.
No meat broths or ‘Soups. No
garlic.” ; ;

mean that!

-No ~
‘ Scotch? No bacon and eggs?-

-NoP partie?! You

“Wanna bet? No pies

‘either, and no mayonnaise.

No peanuts. Nothing:

Well, I guess that elimin-

-- ates mest everything edible..

But what happens if I perish

- from hunger? I mean,. you

perish, too. So-I must be able

oa to eat something.

ae matter:

“Mush.” ‘orn
Come: again? -

8Y¥0u can. eat mush. ‘And

|. stink. miik, lots ofit.””

“Uph!: I. can n't: stand: it. q
-won’ t do it.: nf refuse! .

2 the; license’ plate

- ‘number onthe summons. and

the st summons \ was completely

forgotten.

-..7:30-a.m.,° when two police |
‘officers ‘arrived at the front

door with ‘a warrant forthe
Jad’s arrest. He-was taken to

the. local. pokey,” where “he |
. languished | ‘until:

1 p.m.,

=: 2 1 When he.was taken before a
_ Apparently’ a partially: torn oe ar
ticket notice is considered .a:-

“magistrate... ere

For. his’ failure to pay a
‘parking ticket ‘that’ he never
received, the” boy: lost his-
“driver's: ‘license. for.30 days
— and was put,on probation

for’ three months!

-" ‘Phere is one more detail —
around, the Keen household :
was beset’by influenza — no.

a seemingly- insignificant

item: ‘that the boy did not -

-mention.in court, because .a

erve ‘special service. But has: "
he stopped: to ‘consider. the .
_thousandé of dollars. needed |
_ each ‘winter to: tackle the.
_ tremendous job of snow. and:

ice removal.in the Proper-.

. ties? Who ‘is. eae.

that?

Surely ‘the. ‘almost ‘nightly

patrols and. plowing more".
than ‘compensate for the.
steeper, taxes. of our: neigh- :
bours.o on the hill ve :

- Peter Speck
“gig McCune.

Patriota ‘Coarale,

“Madaléine

Sylvia Sorensen, Flana’ ‘Stowart, Sam Stewart,

5 PE alan Twiggy: ‘Claire, Nandat,” Kate Wallace, .
: a Carol Muikine. re ona :

Be c. ° largest wookly nowspaper.

mn x

a vy “I eaaea
Wy es

oe - Nothing more was ; heard.
until last Friday (Apr. 9) at

_Beinga a man. of : action; and ~

‘believing the notice to be in

error, he - began. to’-tear. it.

'- up—then thought better of it,

Rex Weyler :

wart Dickson: |
Bob Graham o

warrant was. incorrect.

As anyone who has.ever

. fought a traffic ticket knows,
 -gsuch an error on the officer’s .

part completely ‘invalidates

“the ticket.

* +¢ *

If you breathed a sigh of
relief when skateboards van-
ished a few years back, you
‘can just stick all that air: back’
in again. The “tittle four-
wheeled © monsters | are .in

vogue once more — with ‘a
" vengeance, "

however. With precision ball
bearings,. ‘finely ‘ machined
suspension and plexiglass
bodies, they are'a smaller
and more streamlined ‘ver-
sion of the sidewalk surf-
board. By comparison, the

7 first . incarnation: Jooks like

- George went on to o bemoan |
the condition of roads inthe’
Properties: Is he. kidding?
Besides, in a Mercedes,, you
hardly feel any bumps. ,

“Then he had the audacity
to charge bus service in the
Properties . wasn’t’ up. to

because « everyone owns a
car. If. a demand ” for.

| changes. . us bea

new’ garbage’,
more : ‘of: ‘the:

‘Trust our rotund ‘friend to

Alan Twigg
2109 Mathers Ave.
“West Vancouver

Vancouver municipal

reporter for the North Shore
News) |

‘yer going to be in hospital,

; oe Which:
These ..aren’t quite the -
same as the last. batch,

North s Shore. Safety Councils:

your April 7th issue.
scratch. Of course it.isn’t,

~ George" s. ; disinissal of: the a
by-law Pe a
‘‘red herring’ was. likely ©
Freudian: ‘slip .
than ‘a ‘rational ’ viewpoint.

tinal belt-tightening of any |

of nuclear: power =a smal
minority: —'do hot want: an
“public “awareness, of: the’
aspects, ‘of nuclear ‘ener e
the.safety, economic feasibil-

ity, energy-efficlency, em:
| ployment !

[Alan Twlag ts the West.
affalce

anything for next ‘week, cos

and they’ll run a tube down
your nose and wont feed ‘yo
nothing but milk down the
tube and it goes drip. drip
drip...

That's enough. Tgive:

“‘That’s mor like it: Good —

to see u being so reason-
able. 7

“Kay bos.’ But dont t plan. 4

i wat ‘Shall : we have

little more than a bit of wood... “In collabo

on a roller skate — which, in| “f erate:

fact, it very often was. ..

The prices have altered |
too, naturally. Whereas. the’
1969 skateboard, crimson -

decals and all, cost about $10...
to $15, the updated version : i

starts at $35 — and. runs, as

high as $135!

Unfortunately, “the risk
factor has also increased.-
The relatively clumsy model .
of the past would lose‘control .
at. any speed ‘over 25 miles:
per hour, but the new edition
has been clocked at speeds in
excess of 40 miles per hour.

Apparently, aware to some
degree of the dangers with
such velocity is
fraught, some of the young
daredevils riding these con-.

traptions - have taken |. to

wearing football helmets and
shoulder pads while pelting
down the Slopes of the North -
Shore..

Not good enough, says ‘the.

Dear Sie:

Re: Mr. Sutton’ Ss. letter in,

blind ‘faith in). monopolistic

“his: total t ‘bias. for the vutliey,

blindness to the most horelty
ing facts. eo

As Tam n prestatly peiiticn

Ing for a public inquiry Yam"

finding that most propone:

figures,
impacts, etc. os eo

skateboards;

Like: most’ proponents ‘of 1
“nuclear power, Mr. Sutton is”

increased service ‘existed, Proudly waving the flag of:

. doubtless the transportation ~

department. would a itive a Promotion of. enerey waste 1.)

companies’ and his: ‘own:

‘social

i repar-
ing to "crack down’ on'the:-use ©
of. “skateboards «on “ ‘public

-igoads. ‘West: ‘Vancouver. and —

the City. of: ‘North Vaticouver .

, crackdown
“begins “fate his: * month, =
police will ‘stop “children on’.

the parents —_who will, no
doubt, be held: responsible

“escort “them” “
home ‘and have.a word with —