CALL ME middle-age crazy, but 1 just bought a sports car. What? In the middle of writing all that stuff about global warming? After years of preaching the evils of the car? After a lifetime of looking down my nose at materialism? The truth is, E haven't consciously put much emphasis on cars in my life. And L accept the argument that fossil fuels have to be phased out. in the meantime, however, [I'm slipping along through my 50s. And it occurred to me one day that if | didn't do something mad, like buy- ing a sports car, soon, I might get to the point where it's too late, without having done it, and then end up on my death bed thinking, “That ‘s one more thing I didn’t do.” This “getting older” business is proving to be philosophically delightful. Instead of torturous debates with myself about whether to do some- - thing or not, I find myself shrugging, and asking instead: “Can 1? Do I want to?” Or, more to the point: “Will the bank allow it?” If the answer to all three ques- tions is yes, the fourth question becomes: “Why not?” Hey! This is no big deal. It’s not even that much of a sports car, just a Nissan NX [600 with all the modern accessories like a digitalized dash, T- bar, quad speakers, lots of computer- ized stuff. I'm still no more of a car buff than I ever was. I mean, I’! never be able to spend a whole evening sitting around with the guys, talking car talk, eh? Ali [ know for sure about my car, without consulting the manual, is that it’s white, has one of those black bra-things on front, and I get up to 60 kilometres before going into third gear, and I do it in seconds. It’s a stick shift, which, after years of automatics, is like the differ- ence between sex and working for a living. It’s not, you understand, that I ‘ want to break any speed limits, or, heaven forbid, have any plans to do so. Amen. STRICTLY PERSONAL But, let's just say, instead of crawling along in traffic as E have always done in my more mundane vehicles, I can accelerate and brake, dodge and weave, and generally nose my way through the pack and get ahead of the slowpokes, which tums the drive home from an ordeal into something closer to a video game. I did preface this by admitting to the possibility of middle-age crazi- ness, but as | ride along, the two roof windows removed, blasting the speakers at something close to full volume, toes dancing between the clutch and the brake, a finger or two on the power steering and one hand lovingly cupping the stick shift, a certain peculiar thrill goes through the old nervous system. Like: Why didn’t I do this before? Obviously, there’s a certain amount of hubris involved in the pur- chase of a sports car, but it isn’t eco- logically any more evil than a regular car. In fact, slightly less so, I believe, since it’s highly fuel efficient. Of course, I shouldn't be driving at all. That’s a given. I sin. I confess. But then I look at all the other vehicles around, with another car being built every three seconds — somewhere in the world, and I feel like a drop of water in the tide. It’s called the 50/50 Bonus Pak. Act now and get unlimited local cellular calling for your first 50 days. After 50 days, you aT | il get: ¢ Unlimited local weekend calling e 59 minutes business airtime per month ¢ For only $49.95* a month ‘NORTH'SHORE * SELLULAR LID a! (1294 MARINE, DRIVE; Whether [ personally drive, walk, hike or levitate isn’t going to make a whole hell of a lot of difference to the fate of the planet. If'a change is going to be made. it has to be systems-wide. That is. it has to be a mass change, legislated from above, enforced by law, applic- able to everyone, like they are begin- ning to do in California, where fossil luel-powered vehicles are being mandated off the coads. In any event, [ suspect the world will go to hell ina handbasket before a restless species like ours surrenders its freedom of movement, We will never get everybody out of cars. And, besides, that’s not nec- essary, What's necessary is to change the type of fuel. Anyway, enough of the guilt trip! For the moment, | am enjoying a lux- ury chat I never, until now, even con- sidered worth chasing. If | was going to spend money, I always had a very practical attitude: Spend it on something useful, like property, or a good time, or a van that doubles as a camper, or a boat. The exception to this rule was my first car, which was a 1949 Chevy that I bought when i turned [6. Actually, I bought it six months before 1 turned 16, and had to wait, polishing it, oiling it, tinkering deli- cately, often just sitting in it, engine running, practising hanging my left arm out the window, and saying, real cool and deep-voiced: “Hi, want a Life?" My motive and hormones are somewhat different now. 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