vit

LIFESTYLES

Make compliments less pointed

DEAR MISS MANNERS — For years, as 2 complimentary
gesture, I have often commented, when greeting 2 friend I
haven't seen for a while, ‘‘My, you lovk as if you've lost

some weight.’’

My thought was that most peo-
ple are self-conscious about being
overweight, and a remark that (hey
have lost weight would be a com-
pliment.

A friend told me that such a
comment is too persenal *‘and not
in good taste."’ I to'd her that sev-
eral of my female friends seemed
so pleased with my observation of
their weight reduction that they
almost kissed me. Am I being rude
or forward?

GENTLE READER — It may
well be true that most people
would [ike to be thinner than they
are (which is not the same thing as
saving tha? most people are
overweight) and will go into
ecstasy at your remark.

But it is extremely dangerous to
count on such generalizations
when you select personal remarks
to make to friends. As a matter of
fact, statistically you are apt to
find, one of these days, that you
have encountered someone whose
weight loss is due to severe illness
or stress. Miss Manners warns you

yr,

MICHELE DAVIES

Wm. R. Falls ©.D.
Optometrist

Announces the opening of a new
office at: Capilano Village
80! Marine Drive
North Vancouver

Office hours: 10:00 am - 4.00 pm
Wed.,, Fri. & Sat.

Telephone: 986-9575

Gli

759 Park Royal North

that that person is nor going to
greet’ your intended compliment
with a kiss.

“Why, how wonderful you look!’
will achieve the desired effect
without the anger.

miss
manners
Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
While working for a large corpora-
tion, } was secretary to the msnag-
er of personnel development and
education. He is an elderly gen-
tieman.

Quite s few times he referred to
other people’s secretaries as their
“giri.”’ I corrected him o1 many
occasions, saying it was very rude
and demeaning. He insisted it was
proper aud said I was juct being

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extremely picky. J cringed every
time T heard it, and I'm sure he's
stil doing it. § stil! work for this
corporation. Please help me st
this guy straight.

GENTLE READER -— Miss
Manners took a good fook at the
postmark of this letter and was
surprised not to find that it had
passed a decade in transit.

For his sake and the sake of the
company, you must tell him that
times have changed. It was never
correct to refer to an adult
employee as a girl, but it was
usual.

It is too bad he has interpreted
your explanation to be an idiosyn-
cratic complaint. The next step is
to send a gently worded memo-
randum from the company’s fe-
male staff that they would all like
to have the practice discontinued.

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37 - Sunday, February 19, 1989 - North Shore News

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Capilano Draperies
Serving the North Shore for
13 years.
414A W. 45th St.
North Vancouver
988-5621

von 628
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985-8738