Anarchist defies fork DEAR MISS MANNERS — My mother keeps bothering me about eatirg with my left hand resting on the table. She says that if the right hand is used to hold the fork, the left hand should be kept on the fap. I say it doesn’t make a difference. women, of course, and my patience for their obvious jealousy is wearing thin. I do nothing to precipitate these comments, but you know whenever women come together and talk, the sub- ject invariably turns to diez and clothes. miss manners by Judith Martin GENTLE READER — You, sir, are an incipient anar- chist. You heard your mother: Put your left hand in your lap. DEAR MISS MANNERS — Even people who would agree about the rudeness of pointing out » person’s ex- cess weight to her face, feel it is perfectly acceptable to “jokingly” tell a thin person how ‘‘disgusting’’ or “*sickening’’ she is for being thin. I have been told this often for many years, and I don’t diet. I have been good- natured about it all along, even when biatantly told that my figure is ‘‘inadequate’’ and that I should just wait nntil Pm over 40. This comes mostly from Over Offer It is at this point, as often as not, that F become a target, without having said a thing. Since Iam over 30, I would hope to be afforded a little more respect and digni- ty than this, as I know these women expect and receive it from me. GENTLE READER — What these women are prac- ticing is a particularly ob- noxious modern social con- vention called the com- pliment-insult. These are the kind of people who congratulate you on an achievement by say- ing, ‘‘I hate you'' or “You're just doing this to show up the rest of us.’’ They truly believe that they are expressing, in a humorous or original way, the politeness that such an occasion demands. 56 stores and services Great Christmas Gift Ideas LYN Christ Portrait Special Award Winning Photography by David Choo One 8xlO Otfer expires Nov. 30, “Wl Portrait Studio Park Royal North 926-9811 There are two ways of dealing with this. Miss Manners will not let you use them unless you absolutely promise to do so naively, without any trace of sar- casm:. She is willing to have you point out to these people what they are doing, but will 37 - Sunday, Nuvember 10, 1985 - North Shore News not have you humiliating them. One is to take them at face value and, in your case, say in a flurried way, ‘‘Real- ly? Is my appearance offen- sive? I had no idea I was so unattractive. Tell me your eating habits — perhaps ! Hollyburn Country etiquette could learn something. You look wonderful.” The other is to take it as if it were the compliment they intended and to reply to be- ing told that your figure is disgusting, ‘‘Oh, thank Sunday November 10, 1985 1-4 p.m. If you are interested in one of Canada’s finest family sports and social clubs, be our quest on Sunday, November 10, 1985 for a tour of our multi-sports facility at 950 Crosscreek Road, West Vancouver. Construct, Transform, Reconstruct! Robilocks, a transformable construction toy and other fine toys available at 10 7 Puts Creative Kidstuff Toys LYNN VALLEY CENTRE ees WATCH YOUR MONEY GROW 41¢,5¢, 10€ & 25¢€ An excellent Xmas gift For the little investor in durable solid brass from California Canada in LYWNS ALLOY GRTRE