C8-Sunday News, October 26, 1980

QUESTION: Would you
care to say something about
meditation? You ‘hear so
much about it these days and
I have never really had
anything to do with it. Do
you think it is a good thing?

And, if you do, do you have
any advice to offer a person

who is considering getting
started?

STEWART: There is a
world-wide upsurge of in-

terest in many differing
phases of what is loosely
called meditation, and I for
one feel that upsurge is good
news. As you probably
know, there are some forms
of meditation that might be

described as more or less
formal. They have a name
and a following and a price. |
am sure they must be helpful
to many. Also related to the
upSurge, are many other

suchas
prayer, “quiet-
retreats, self-
hypnosis, many different
kinds of consciousness
raising techniques, etc. As
always, there are groups and

experiences
relaxation,
times”’.

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling Hts
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of North Shore residents

individuals, that go to excess
in one direction or another
and although I am _ not
personally drawn to them, |
am grateful for them,
because they tend to get the

Meditation is personal

rest of us to move at least a
little, even if we are not out
in the foreground.

You ask if I have any
advice. I would suggest one
thing. Even if you get help
from

some group or in-

dividual, be sure you make
the experience your very
own. } would even say that it
is important for you to refuse
to follow ANY method or
ANY peron beyond your
Meditation.
with its various purposes and
methods, 1s a very intimate.
personal and private ex-
penence. Make wt your
OWN, not someone else's.
There is no “right” way for

you, other than your own
evolving way. —

own integrity

Attacking answering services

QUESTION: I can't un-
derstand why doctors and a
whole lot of other people
pay so dam much for an
almost perfectly rotten job
done by their answering
services, and still keep them
on the pay roll. Is there
something about these
answering services that scare
doctors off from saying, give
me the kind of service I want
or get off the line? In the first
place they're in such a heil-
bent rush you can't hear
what they say. They pick up
the ‘phone when you ring
them and mutter out
something or other about
who's talking and you have

no idea what they said. You
say, is this Dr. X's office and
they very quickly say
something else that nearly
always ends with “Will you
hold please?” Then you
stand there like an ass,
holding on and not knowing
whether you even have the
person's office that you're
trying to get. When they
return and you tell them
your cousin is dying and can
you get in touch with the
doctor and they say, why
certainly — will you hold?
Then about four hours later
they return and say, what is
it you wanted? Why don't the
doctors ‘phone thelr own

numbers once in a while and
find out what a lousy job
they're paying for? And what
about those machines that
answer you and tell you tc
‘phone back between 2 and
2.10 on Thursday? Or what
about the machines that say,
All our lines are busy. Please
hang on, it will be quicker
than calling again. Or the
one that says, after the beep
please leave a message.
Don't they know the kind of
message you want to leave is
against the law?

Anyway, my poini ts that
there is a heck of a lot of
room for all kinds of im-
provement in these rotten

Both of you are wro

QUESTION: My wife b&b
having a hard time trying to
anderstand something that ts
very clear to me. She is a
terrfhble nagger. She will nag
me about anything. Pick up
your sox! You are going to
be Late! Why are you always
at the TV? etc, etc, etc. The
thing she nags about most of
all is my drinking. She can't
seem to get it into her head
that the reason | drink is to
get away trom her continual
nagging. When it gets too
much, | just get up and go
out with the guys for a
couple of drinks. Then she
nags about that! If she'd quilt
nagging, | wouldn't want to
go out so much. She says,
she nags me because | drink.
She says she's so frustrated
by the way J am that she tries

North
Shore
Kitchen
centre
Ltd

DEALER FOR

(a)

PANORAMA
rete b4h NS,

‘‘Free’’

Yt We
Meee th vane

Poe BBS O74)

to do something about it. But
the only thing she tries ts
nagging. Why can't she see
that she's driving me into my
drinking with her nagging. In
your counselling you mast
hear thbs story a lot. Aren't !
right? A lot of guys must be
drinkers because thelr wives
nag so much.

STEWART: If I said. “You

are mght.” she would not
agree and youd be nowhere
If Po said, “She's mght 7 you
wouldn't) agree and youd
sull be nowhere You and
she may not be ready for
this but at will be a good day
when cach of you says “My
way isnot working very well
Im going to throw out my
way and try a better way

mITO MENS
VANLTTIE SS,
CCOUIN TE RED Cob,
APRIL IANC f°
(CERAMIC Tht

todd tot
ta

in-home estimates

Your escaping into dnnk 1s
not improving the situation
Her nagging ts not improving
wteither “Who's mght?” you
ask My answer’? What does
tl matter when you know
youre both “wrong”? bach
of you needs to find a better

way Her way is not good

Until October 31st

Cap pores
She hes

ord eh Oe

Licaety Leerdts

vert les mprenrenes 2) Oe

revrvecetigner  Sevarigs Pvertrtn'

forcrterct piterefers fore ene

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Selected items Of

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answering services. I sup-
pose you have an answering
service and are not free to
make a comment.

STEWART: No, I haven't an
answering service, and | am
“free” to comment. Will you
please hold a minute while |
compose it? Ah! I've got
My comment is, AMEN'
And how about the ones who
tell you to wait, then ina few

minutes they start playing
some awful music. badly
recorded and _ cruelly

selected, apparently with a

view to keeping you en-
thralled while you = are
atrophying”

Yous 9 wey Is no good You
have ae@sted those ways and
they ‘wp der you down If you
want.gomething better
thr tthe ways that have
failed nd get some coun
selling about better ways
that ate open to you and that
are appealing to you

North Mall

Not a minister

QUESTION: I've heard
recently that you are a
minister of Unity church. Is
that true?

it is in my office. People are

people and all of us seem to

have an ingrown yearning to
“grow”.

STEWART: Not true.

Unity (and some other
churches too) once in a \ DAVLIGIT |
while invite me as guest

speaker, usually because of
my many years of coun-
selling here in Vancouver
and what those years have
taught me concerning
people and their longing to
live well and happily. The
hunger for a_ full and
rewarding life is every bit as
evident in a church setting as

SAVINGS

TIME
ENDS

\\\\V WS RLLLLLLZETT

OCT. 26th

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