THERE {8 no lunacy in the . postwar world that las passed Canada by, from terrorism to political cor- rectness. — Barbara Amiel, writing in the Sunday Times and telling John Major to beware of the Canadian disease. | * WE ARE the champs, all ‘tight. Just take a look at the year that was. “\Thanks to the Charter of Rights, perverts are allowed to ~ hang around school yards, scann- ing the possibilities. . .. In creating the Third World i in : ., Canada, Ottawa brings i in Kurds “ who are illiterate in their own — -anguage and have never seen a * flush toilet or any other kind of toilet. Which is why there have ‘been complaints about Kurd turds vin public places. The finance minister promises “to reduce the national debt; which - is'still growing like gulfweed in the Sargasso Sea. The same prom- ’ proving the language. Actresses ‘are now actors, fishermen are ston, It is to spend more money. In case you didn’t know, the way 40 get out of debt is to go into more debt. Professor Jocl Bakan, UBC law ssor, declares that secret sin union certification votes are “undemocratic.’’ Yes, it helps to have the union boss looking over your shoulder when you vote. Bakan is hereby nominated for the Nobel Prize in Goof Lore. He should go far. But however far he goes, it won't be far enough. Great strides have been inade by the homos, and same-sex mar- riage is on the way. Depend upon it, Siry as Dr. Johnson would have said, for it is lusted after by queers and their dupes in the media, politics, academe and the legal world. Look forward to seeing pictures . in the Sun of Stan Persky kissing ' his boyfriend. Svend Robinson will hold hands with his husband in Stanley Park. ,. Nothing is impossible. Who would have thought a man would ever go to court trying to gain custody of children he had fa- ‘thered by his daughter? Once again we salute the Charter. The Sun concentrated on im- fishers, henchmen are henchper-" sons, waitresses are waiters, and handymen are handypersons, believe it or not. _ Are trenchermen now tren- cherpersGns? Trencherman “ Winston Churchill would have |. choked on his cigar. Could bridesmaids be bridespersons? Anything is possible. ‘In B.C. the employinent equity program will mean that only col- : ored folk and women need apply “for jobs with the Harcourt gov- ernment, The anti-white-male first test to claim for refugee status’' was particularly encourag- ing. It referred to Mahmoud ; . Mohammad Issa Mohammad, the Palestinian who blew up an airliner, In the five years since his presence here created a scandal, litle old Mahmoud has still not been deported. His refugee claim has ‘‘a credi- ble basis’’ says the Refugee ’ Board. Of course! Mahmoud says the decision _ gives him trust in the Canadian justice system. Gang members who can 7 be sent back to China are also keen on our system. Compare Mahmoud’ $ case with If you'd like to spend less on not so distant residential long distance, BC TEL can get you _ moving in the right direction. Because our new Between Wednesday, Jeary 6, 1998 - North Shore News — duction promises made since 1968 that of David Irving, who was hustled out of the country for de- nying the sanctity of the Holocaust. One fears that the courts have become as dippy as anyone else. Women who claim that their husbands beat them up can now get away with murder. They may also qualify as refugees, , Indians in trouble with the law can now sit in a circle with their friends while everyone smukes some funny stuff and talks about brotherhood and lawyers | : philosophize., The Red Brothers can also drag ‘most of the sockeye frova the Fraser. while our boneless wonders in Ottawa suck their thumbs. .. To please the Jews, 80-year-old within British Columbia across | men alleged to have committed crimes 50 years ago in foreign countries can be dragged before the courts. Charter or no Charter. Speaking of that weird docu- ment in another context, Gwen Landolt of REAL Women has stated, ‘The Charter never gave us any rights. It just let appointed judges play at being kings and take away the rights of the major- ity.”’ True. For judges can now “read into’’ the Charter what they think it should say. Hence the gains on the homo front. i he It's a funny ‘old world, and will become even funnier in 1993. Depend up it, Sir. Plus with.our many other” . Long Distance Savings Plans; we - can create a customized package" to meet yourccalling needs: , program prospers. + There is also good news for ter- -torists. The headline, “Terror “Canada, to the United States or’ ‘ise has been made by every fi- ©: “nance minister since 1968, ©, “s The B.C. Federation of Labor has a recipe for. beating the reces- Friends™ ‘Close To. Home’ st passes ; _ Pane Se ‘plan can save ‘you as much as. sverieos: 48% on long distance. “occupants of th ie vehicle were are Tested. 1 Aas "Charges of theft over “$1,000 and possession of stolen. property "are pending against the driver: of the car, a young offender from New Westminster. A male adult from Vancouver’ has been charged with a breach of an undertaking. . “TWO PEOPLE appeared in. 1. West ,, Vancouver «provincial court. on ‘Dec.. 31. after:: West . Vancouver ‘Police arrested two people driving. ; astolen vehicle... «. /A “police : spokesman said - the + police | had spotted a Honda Ace * cord driving, cast along: the "9900-block: of Westridge Avenue ‘at about 1:30 a.m. wa. “The- vehicle was subsequently : : stopped. A-constable noticed the.” steering column ‘and ignition, had - been tampered with..: ‘An investigation found’ the | vehicle had eatlier : bes copie What’ s more, "you 0 order “north, south, before March 9, 1993, we will east or west . within British Columbia... time service charge. | it’s only $4.50 for the first We will also be alad sonpotnt ° 60 our 11-5 ‘Alter Christmas. 30 minutes. Each additional ‘out ‘the many ways you can. iSale_flyer,.Christmas. Cards, : ; teed ‘ ; Wrap, . Trim, | For more information, please call a . ; minute is 15¢. And these low’ Decorative Ac: - "The North Shore’s only fuli .cessories, Candy, Linens on : ot Service investment firm Npage 1, the prices will be in ef- ; ; -_ . ' fest until Sunday, Januar Bede ‘ew Lo re " y ¥ RBC os - rates are available all week “B124 Whit ‘Sale tlye DOMINION Pep ee ee a E ite SECURIT irr ar " Roughneck ote and Jumbo IES Keeper on page 18, the ® photos : are reversed . ;