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42 - Wednesday, Octobe 17, 1990 — North Shore News

L

Artist’s model
froze atter
marriage

Q. | AM a artist in my 40s.
My wife is in her 20c. We
lived together for two years
before we got married.
When we were living
together, she walked around
the house in the nude, will-
ingly modeled in the nude
for me and disrobed in star-
tling places and at exciting
times. I loved it.

When we got married, she
became Mrs. Inhibited. Now she
won't pose for me. She doesn’t
like to walk around the house
nude. FE don’t understand why she
has changed. [ still love her body
and I want things to be the way
they were before. Why can’t they
be?

A. Now she wants to be Mrs.
Artist and is perhaps preparing
herself to be the mother of your
children. She does not want to be
the artist’s model anymore.

Talk to her. Tell her, ‘‘} under-
stand that you don’t want to pose
anymore. But Iet’s make an
agreement that once a month —
or once a week — you will walk
around the house naked for me,
because I really love your body.”’

Also, I suspect there may be
other difficulties in your marriage.
She has apparently changed a
great deal since you put a ring oa
her finger. i would be curious to
find out what is at the bottom of
this change.

Perhaps she is angry at you for
something and is showing her
anger by denying you the pleasure
of seeing her naked. Ask her!

Q. Iam a man in my late 40s. 3
have a good marriage, three
wonderful children and a satis-
fying life. Over the years I have
been troubled by some tomosex-
ual fantasies, but I have never
acted upon them.

Now I find myself strongly al-
tracted to a younger man I have
been mentoring at work. He is a

Wh

Dr. Ruth
Westheimer

ASK DR. RUTH

good friend and he is also strongly
heterosexual.

Nothing has happened between
us. Nor do I want anything to
happen. Nor do I think he has the
slightest idea of how I really feel
about him. But I am upset by the
fantasies I have about him.

I have never told my wife about
these homosexual desires. Should
1? And what should [ do about
the particular fantasies involving
the young man?

A. Absolutely do not tell your
wife about your desires or fan-
tasies! She would be hurt and
confused by them. Many men do
have homosexual fantasies. Use
them to become sexually aroused
with your wife, but do not share
them with her.

Until this infatuation passes,
avoid as much contact with the
young man as possible. Find ex-
cuses not to socialize qutside
work. At the office, encourage
him to be more on his own or
work more closely with others.
You can simply tell him he is
ready for more autonomy, which
he probably is.

It is important that you remove
yourself from temptation in this
case. Soon the attraction will pass.

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| Sheern Price, Carlen Oats and Burnie the Dog.

Care of the elderly topic of meeting

NORTH SHORE Caregivers Suppori Society will be
offering a public workshop on Saturday, Oct. 20
from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at Delbrook Recreation
Centre. The workshop will provide valuable infor-
mation for anyone responsible for the welfare of an
elderly relative.

Professional guest speakers include Ann Finlay,
Rehabilitation Consultant for North Shore Health
(NSH) will talk on seating and mobility aids. Other
speakers include Mavis Standfield, Administrator of
the Long Term Care department at NSH, Gary Col-

ley, advocate for the B.C. Coalition of People with
Disabilities, and Tim Louis, a lawyer who will
discuss the Living Will.

Lunch will be served free of charge and during the
lunch break, participants will be able to browse
around displays which include B.C. Tel, B.C. Mede-
quip, CNIB, the Dept. of Veteran Affairs, the M.S.
Society, Myasthenia Gravis Association, Community
Legal Assistance Saciety, Montreal Trust, Handi-
Dart, The Western Institute for the Deaf and Hard
of Hearing, the Public Trustee, and North Shore
Community Services(NSCS).

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October 19 at Salmon House on the Hill

Cocktails 11:45

Luncheon & Fashion Show 12:30

TICKETS - $26

available at:

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2996 Lonsdale
North Vancouver

984-9711

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Ste. 200-1455 Bellevue
West Vancouver

926-6233