TO BCTV on Monday, where I am a spear carrier for Jack
Webster in our rational theatre of the absurd known as
election day. Thcr : are about 100 of us, ranging from Grace
McCarthy to Jac:. Munro to Mike Harcourt and Stan Per-
sky, for God’s sake. A motley crew, and some of us are
dragged before the mikes when Jack is hard up for some-

thing to say.

A nice party, really. The mun-
chies are excellent, and I am
amazed that no one wanted to
scrag me. After all, most of those
present were respectable. But it
goes well. ‘‘Have some wine,
Doug,”’ says my old buddy Aiex
Macdonald, the former NDP at-
tornzy general. ‘“‘Have some white
wine,’’ he adds with a grin.

Harry Rankin is there, and peo-
ple of fered him their congratula-

ca

Party.’’ He asks me why Preston
Manning didn’t sign my nomina-
tion papers. I explain that and give
him my line about how Preston
should have been a Sunday school
teacher. The spear carriers laugh.
Lloyd Robertson laughs.

Later on, I sit next to jovial Jack
Munro, a resident of West Van-
couver, and tell him I’m sorry he
didn’t have a chance to vote for

- me. Jack laughs, too. I tell him he
A

The dismal federai scene unfolds
before us, relieved only by the news
that Flora MacDonald and a few
other notables are down.”’

tions on his re-election as an
alderman in the big city. I didn’t as
Iam not that kind of sport. Hap-
pily, Harry was gloomy, as befits
an old commie.

“It used to be 54-40 or fight,”’
he says in reference to the free
trade deal. ‘“‘Bui now it’s ‘Come in
and take us over.’”’ Alex says the
Americans bought Alaska, and
why can’t they buy us? We could
use the money.

First returns from the Maritimes
point to a Liberal resurgence, and
John Crosbie pops up on the
screen to damn all those ‘*‘Tory
and NDP lies’’ on free trade.

Unseen and unheard down East,
a spear carrier asked whether John
had read the deal yet. Much mer-
riment. But John predicts that the
Tories will pull in between 160 and
170 seats. This produces ribald
comment. However, it turned out
that he was short of the mark.

For the benefit of our betters in
Ontario, it being only 4 p.m. here
and action being short, Webster
introduces me, his pet freak, as
“*perhaps the only one who could
have taken a seat for the Reform

can join the Collins Party, but like
everyone else who takes that step
he musi first learn how to goose-
step.

More wine, please. White wine.
I am beginning to enjoy this elec-
tion, especially as I truly don’t give
a damn who wins, we being down
the drain anyway. (Just wait ’til
Baloney produces his next budget,
my friend!)

The electicn is settled long be-
fore the West is allowed to learn
the country’s fete. As usual. By
5:40 p.m. CTV is predicting a Tery

majority, and Quebec has rallied
to the Baloneyites in greater
strength than ever. Of course. Why
not? It is not a matter of free
trade. It is a matter of Quebec
having been bought. Also as usual.
And if the Tories didn’t do it, the
Liberals would.

The dismal federal scene unfolds
before us, relieved only by the
news that Flora MacDonald and a
few other notables are down. Flora
comes 033 screen to thank her
friends and comrades. Unseen by
Flora, I shout out that there mar-
ches a red Tory. Cheers from the
spear carriers.

While we are watching for the
Great Baloney himself to appear,
Alex Macdonald goes on camera
with Webster to say that outside of
Quebec, the Tories lost in terms of
the popular vote. It therefore
followed that the rest of the coun-
try was against free trade. Remind
me to check on the figures. I am
on my fourth glass of white wine.

Ed Broadbent pops up. All the
NDPers cheer wildly. Can’t think
why. Earlier, Alex had said off
camera that the NDP had run a
rotten campaign. “Broadbent kept
saying the NDP appealed to the
average Canadian,”’ he said, ‘‘but
the average Canadian is above
average.”’ On camera, though,
Alex is party-loyal. Of course. But
I am happy, because in spite of all
his abject sucking up to Quebec,
Ed didn’t get a single seat there.

Was this election a referendum
on free trade? Perhaps. But we
shall never have democracy in this
country until the system is changed
to permit referenda on all great
social issues. It is simply not good
enough to fight over one thing and
then let the MPs do as they damn
well please on the rest for the next
four years,

More wine, please @

‘DR. LYNN J. BAKER |

Wishes to announce the relocation
of his practice of demtistry at
#202-145 Wy. 15th Street
North Vancouver
(previously the office of Dr. Ron Porth)
; 986-4141
Office Hours: Monday - Thursday 8-5; Friday 9-1

9 - Wednesday, November 23, 1988 - North Shore News

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