C10 - Sunday News, November 1, 1981 Is this guy for real ? QUESTION: Years ago, after being bummed a couple of times, I decided I would be very choosy about women and I'm glad I've done it. There is very litde chance of my heing hooked into a marriage that fails. I know what I want and I have a list of qualities I want in my women and when I meet a new woman, I simply go over my list and see how they shape up. If they fail in two or three counts, I just don't bother with them anymore. I want a woman who is aware of my needs and is willing to meet them. | What's wrong with that? She has to be a certain age, nice looking, an extra good cook, a woman who doesn’t want to work, who wants to have: two children, who is sexually uninhibited and who is smart enough to know thst her piace is in the home. (I don’t. care about that being an unpopular idea and con- sidered old-fashioned, that’s QUESTION: If ever there was a lousy lecher, my boss is one. He never quits. He's always touching and saying things that cannot be misunderstood. There is no doubt left at all that he wants to get me in the sack. The other day he flatly suggested that we go to his cabin for the week-end. | sure cannot afford to lose my job and | feel so darn helpless in holding him off. [ve told him that I have only known him a littl while; [ve told him that 1 have a boy friend; I've told him that I am very busy. I've told him every- thing I can think of bat nothing cools him. | do not have the slightest attraction A great QUESTION: The toss of Chief Dan George Is a heart- break to me. His con- tribution has been = im- measurable. Mas any British Columbian shared with us 4 «acute what has to be), I want her not to talk too much when we have friends in or when _ we go out, because I am a good conversationalist and I don’t want her to shoot off her mouth. She must know that I will live my own life and do what I want to do without her nagging and complaining. Again, I know it is an unpopular idea, but she must know that I am boss and that my word goes. There are a lot of other things I will insist on too, but that’s enough for purposes of this letter. . What I want to ask you is this. Don't you think it is a sensible idea for me to know exactly what I want in a woman and not waste time on women who don't fit in to my needs? I think we'd be a lot better off if all us men used this plan. What ‘do you say? STEWART: I say, you've . GOT to be kidding! I mean, ask hayden stewart Freetance Counsellor Ha yden Stewart may be reached at 261-624. for appointments for individual. family or group counselling. Her boss, the lecher to him and wish he'd get lost. What to do - short of quitting? STEWART: You see, when you tell him you are busy, or have a man of your own or that you've only known him a while. it comes across to him as an invitation to keep trying. He hears you saying if I knew you better, or if | were to dump my _ boy- friend, or when I'm not too busy, then we'll give your ttle suggestion a thought or two. So far, you have not told him what you want him to understand. You'll need to tell him firmly and quictly, “Look. | have no interest in going out wath loss more cloquently concerning the human spirit? STEWART: He ts a great Inspiration lo me. too I think you are giggling to yourself about a hoaxy letter and saying, right now, “Hey! the dummy has printed my “letter!” But, I suppose there are people who think like you are pretending to think, and so here’s an answer. Your list doesn’t even suggest that you should LIKE the woman, let alone love her. You chose this system “years ago” and have still not found your ideal slave have you. Perhaps your lady friends have sensed that you are keeping score and weighing them in the balance. Perhaps they see better than you do, : : that people are not for ~ USING, as you seem to feel. Perhaps they want to be loved rather than measured and analysed. They may have on THEIR list a quality in men that you have not recognized as being ap- pealing to women. Perhaps they want men to see them vig + you or even being a friend of yours. You are pressuring the wrong girl. You have no chance. Now why don't you just face the facts and forget about me being a possible conquest? Is that clear? You haven't a chance. Forget it.” You might even say to hm that if he wants to fire you for that reason, he'll just have to go ahead and live with it. because if things continue as now, you'll be quitting anyway. Somehow you will have to let him see that his is not a game that he may possibly win. But it has to be clear or he wall aot get it. as persons rather than as servants who must tow the line in order to be con: sidered as qualified for the great man’s needs, or whims. Probably one of them will get a passing grade from you and marry you. 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