C7 - Wednesday, Oct. 7, 1981 - North Shore News

QUESTION: I have a
responsibility -to honor
which I don't want to do. It is
not a part of my work, but it

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agreed to do it partly
because I was flattered at
being asked, I have lost the
enthusiasm and feeling of

STEWART: My tendency
~vould be to back off if my
heart was not in it. If I
discovered, soon enough,

counted on, would certainly
not do a thing to enharice,
your reputation. Right? .
Depending on how you
feel about your reputation
being enhanced, or dimmed,
you might have discovered a
good motive for sticking
with it. You might think that
through a bit. Another
consideration you might
mull over has to do with how

_ask hayden stewart

. Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242

for appointments for individual. family or group counselling. His
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the

is related to the field of work
I'm in. It-was something of
an honor to be approached
and it would enhance my
reputation as a well-qualified
person, if I did it adequately.
It will, be an exacting and
difficult chore that will take
a lot of my energy, con-
centration and time.

> Because of that, and
because I am now aware I

convenience of North Shore residents.

commitment that I would
need to do it well.

In other words, I don't
want to do it. But I agreed to
do it and am being depended
on to see it through. See my

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Do I respect my promise
and struggle through it
without the devotion to it I
need, or do | express my
regrets and back off?

that I had taken on the job
because being asked to do it
flattered me, I would back
off and probably tell them
why. But in your case, are
you too late? You see, if
‘doing this extra piece of
work well would enhance
your reputation, (as you say)
then it is logical that NOT
doing it, or backing off from
it when you are being

you feel if you do it, and how
you will feel if you don’t do
it.

You said you would do it.
You'd better feel real good
about any reason you might
have for cancelling out on
your agreement. If you feel
rotten about backing off,
you would probably be
better off to roll up your
sleeves and get at it. Do it
well if doing it is your
decision. If opting out is
your decision, do that well,
too.

Parents won’t let me run my own life

QUESTION: My parents are
always trying to run my life.
They think they have to
make every decision for me.
I like them O.K. but man I
sure wish they'd show a little
confidence in me and let me
run my own life, after all I
‘am 15. How can I get them
to lay off and let me make
my own decisions? If they'd
do that, almost everything in
our family would be neat.

STEWART: Some parents
seem to want to hang on to

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the control of their
children’s lives long after

they don't actually need to *

do it anymore. Some, parents
are just plain slow about
making that transition. If
they are, in fact, too slow,
that is their problem. But
sometimes they are utterly
convinced, (because of the
sort of decisions their kids
are making), that they are
still needed in keeping a
tight rein on them. Have you
been convincing your
parents by your dumb

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decisions that you need them
to control you still?

I think the very best way
for you to change the
Situation is to govern your
own life in such a way that
they will say to each other,
“Hey, we've got a pretty wise
kid here. He's no fool. He
isn't a slave to everything the
other kids are doing and he’s
got a good mind of his own.
He's really growing up. He’s
quite a guy.”

Do your end of it well. If
they still hang on too much,

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