20 — Wednesday. September 2. 1998 ~ North Shore News “¢ PARENTAL GUIDANCE north shore news parenting is like good coaching Graham Hockey Parental Guidance Columnist THE problem we have, as parents, is that each phase of our children’s lives is a new experience for us, and by the time we have learned from it, they have evolved to the next stage and we're back at square one of our parenting learning curve. To some extent, in the y interactions of uch on-the-job ing is inevitable, t, by looking at parent- Blue Corporate & Team Sports * Silk Beanie Babies ing differently, perhaps we van do more lookin ahead and planning than looking back and wishing. Imagine, for a moment, that you were a coach of one of the athletes compet: ing at fuly’s B.C. Summer Games. Did they get there by random luck or did you have some input into their suc Line S, 4, Sw baw Vee Ewura . “DIADORA Junior Accessory Kit Capili ino Mil 984-8818 cess? Did you recognize their talent and then develop their skills in slow, svstemart ic and progressive steps? Did you spend time motivating them through the emational ups and downs as well as the physical challenges? Did vou encourage then to put in their best effort and seck achievement i eh ther personal best perrormance? If vou did, then vou were likely a good coach. Step back tate vour world awain, and imagine yourscit doing the same things with your own chi dren Are vou planning to have some input inte thei : cess? Are vou recognizing their talents and helping them develop their skills? Sports bE RY A&C Krsna Tearaways Adidas aat/ytn $44.99 Champion ytn $39.99 Nike 20% Umbro off end more ... FREE draw tor Super - Bowl tickets aa ener Umbro \ \ o a4 Diadora’ Fila \ 20” To speedo, | IT'S CHILD'S PLAY TO YOU. BUT IT'S ROCKET SCIENCE TO HIM. Research shows that during the early years, fun and learming are one and the explore th Gymboree is fun with a purpose - children growing abslities, trom Are you encouraging them to pat their best effert and are vou celebrat- ing ‘vith them, their best Are vou spending ume motivating them threugh the inevitable ups and downs of dite? NEWS photo Paul McGrath Washington bound ELEANOR Bates, 16, leaves for Washington, D.C. Sept. 7 where the North Van dancer will study full time with the Kirov Academy of Ballet. Bates, who trained with Lynn Valleys RNG Dance and Theatre Arts and Richmond Dance Academy, has been offered a partial! scholarship to study at the American academy. bade: to school. ~. _ blues... performances? Hf vou are, yourre likely a good parent, The simil es between coaching and parenting are numerous and it’s a compar- ison [ intend to use a lot in discussing parenting issues. After all, many of us have experienced being coached, seen enough sports on tele- coach's role, or perhaps even coached teams our- selves. Untik of parenting we all face when we hold our fh aloft, coaching is some sing that is familiar to many of us, and as a framework for thinking about parenting, can be a very us way of generating some creative thinking on our parts. My wife and I, as coaches of our three children, have a single-minded determination to win three trophies. We hope ca »phy will wome packaged in the body ota confident, competent and socially conscientious young person. We do not see this as 2 competition between us and our children or us and sny- one else. Iris, instead, a competition between the forces of gained opportuni- ties and lost opportunitie Best of all, in the quest to win our three trophics. we can support others ¥ seck the saine trophies, because ia this game, all par- ents can all come out on top: they can all have chil- who can seck opportu- that meet their needs and skill levels. When you see coaches and athletes at a venue like the Summer Games and watch them work together. Think of the things vou see them doing, the skill devel- opment and encouragement, in terms of your role as 3 parent, and sce if you can’t. get a few ideas chat might help you move your own family onto the winners’ podium! — Graham Hookey is the author of Parenting Is A Tenm Sport and teaches par- enting courses. (209-8784 or Mhookey@dowco.com) end that voung children who are nm tothe seeds P motor skills and socializ i af intellect th; Parents same... allowed to lear through play actually become beter students later on. 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