Sizing Up

If YOU needed further proof that we live in a society
where some of us have too much money and minuscule
sense of self, it was provided recently by news of the latest
plastic surgery fad: penis enlargement.

I’m sure there'll be much guf-
fawing over a few beers (followed
by anxious inquiries as to whether
they take major credit cards) with

_ the news that for $3,000 a
~~ Toronto plastic surgeon can
enlarge a penis by up to 50%,
Hundreds of men are calling
from all over North America to
- book an appointment with plastic
‘ surgeon Dr. Robert Stubbs. He
learned the penis-enlarging tech-
. nique from a Chinese surgeon who
; {pioneered the procedure in 1984.

Some might see penis enlarge-
ment as a step towards equal op-
portunity with women, who have
~ had access to silicone- gel breast
implants {and a host of accompa-

* aying medical problems), but is
this really progress? I doubt it.

If the operation was going to be

“|. performed on the truly ‘‘needy"”’
(apparently there are some men
- out there who have what could be
classified as ‘‘micropenises’’), I'd
see it as a Useful medical devel-
opment.

' But ’'m sure most of the men

who are calling Stubbs’ office

JUST ADD WATER

- don’t fall into the ‘‘micro”’ cate-

gory. More likely they’re
“average” hoping to move upand
out to the ‘‘mega’’ range.

Penis enlargement feeds on the
serious difficulty of late 20th
century men and women trying to
attain genuine peace and hap-

“Murphy Brown bus ad:

new ‘low i in good taste?

Dear Editor: ' -
‘Has the TV media, by way
of its advertising, now fallen to
- an even deeper low in good
* taste?
Lorefer toa banner adver-
_ tisement recently displayed on
_ the \side-of a West Vancouver
.. Blue Bus for the popular’ TV
‘sitcom Murphy Brown.
‘In very large lettering run-
7 ning the: clength of the side of
the bus.is the statement ‘‘NO
BROWN NOSER.”
_ For anyone who knows what
objectional sexual act this
Statement refers to, and hope-

munity standards have fallen to
allow this to even be consid-
ercd, Jet alone displayed on our
public transport.

An advertising person |
spoke to in. response to my
complaint at KVOS TV
thought the advertisement was
“funny’’ and said that the sta-
tion has received ‘‘all kinds. of
positive comments’’ on it.

This advertisement is in par-
ticularly bad taste and displays
either an ignorance on the part
of the copywriters of what the
term refers to, or they have
completely indifferent es to the

en: the s!

pinsss; if you want these and you
have enough money, you simply
pay scientists to give them to you.

The ultimate popular proponent
of this kind of ersatz happiness is
the truly tragic Michael Jackson,
who went “‘under the knife’’ to
look as ‘‘white’’ as possible.

Did it make him happy?

He’s addicted to painkillers,
he’s mired in controversy over the
investigation involving alleged
sexual abuse of a 13-year-old
boy, and he is physically or emo-
tionally unable to finish his cur-
rent world tour.

If there’s significant insecurity
among the male population about
penis size, then plastic surgeons
like Stubbs certainly appear
prepared to exploit this.

“All men are not created
equally,’ he said recently.
“Whether it’s flaccid or erect,
women, given the choice, would
usually choose something larger.”’

Based on this comment, I
challenge Stubbs’ understanding
of what women are looking for in
a partner, sexual or oth.rwise.

The concerns of women about
their sex life — and they are
widely documented and reported
— have very little to do with the
size of the male appendage.

:] The story keeps c

Dear Editor:

Leonidas E. Hill of UBC ac-
cuses me of ‘‘selectivity’’ and
“slandering’' Professor Yehuda
Bauer and others in my column of
Aug. 18 on the ‘SHolocaust’’ (the
story keeps changing).

Bauer is director of Holocaust
studies at Hebrew University in
Israel and was reported in the

New York Times of Nov. 12,°
1989, as saying that the four mil- » :
lion figure

for all deaths at
Auschwitz was ‘‘patently false,’’
and that the true figure as far as
Jews were concerned was 1.35
million.

“The larger figures have been
dismissed for years,’’ he con-
tinued, ‘‘except that it hasn't

things to co!

They’re usually related to a lack
of affection and intimacy from
their partner before, during, and
after The Act. :

(As a joke women share with
each other goes: ‘‘Why do women
fake orgasm? Because men fake
foreplay.’’)

Unless the size of the penis was
causing major anxieties for their
partner, most women J know
would say a whopper of an ap-
pendage was not No. 1 on their
wish list.

Human beings weren’t always
so obsessed with changing their
body parts to boost self-esteem.

Phallic worship is an ancient
activity and invariably was related
to fertility rites and celebrations.

The English medieval cavorters
who danced around the gaily dec-
orated phallus we know as the
Maypole did so hoping that the
earth would yield bountiful crops.

It’s clear that society is eroding
the link between our body parts
and their original biological func-
tions.

Male and female genitalia have
become props, toys and orna-
ments, leaving us with a reduced
understanding of their true
significance to us.

What is the function of the

who died elsewhere.

The numbers do indeed keep
changing.

Hill’s snooty remark on
Winston Churchill demands com-
ment.

That Churchill made no_refer-
ence to the holocaust in his six-
volume war history he puts down
to Churchill’s ‘tinadequacy”’ as a
historian.

Really? Churchill may not have
had a degree in history from UBC

penis in a world of sperm banks?
I’d understand it it a lot of men

had ‘penis confusion.”’

It's somewhat bizarre that the.
news of the penis enlargement
procedure has come at the same
time as the tragic case of John
and Lorena Bobbitt of Manassas,
Virginia.

Lorena, charged with malicious
wounding, said she cut off her *
husband’s penis with a kitchen
knife because he allegedly choked
and raped her.

A jury will decide Lorena’s fate
(John has been acquitted of sexual
assault), but what the trial has
made clear is that theirs was a
relationship that had descended .
into some sort of domestic hell.

Exactly because of that, they’ve
overnight celebrities in the United
States and have been pursued by
the likes of Barbara Walters,
Vanity Fair and movie producers.

Ironically, both of the Bobbitts
will make a nice pile of cash from
Lorena’s decision to perform
spontaneous penis reduction.

But that desperate bit of
surgery, like a penis enlargement,
would never by itself have brought
self-esieem or made life worth’.
living.

anging —

but the. author of The World;
Crisis, A History of. the English
Speaking Peoples, The. Life of
Marlborough, The Second Warld
War and many other works is not
to be sneezed at. .

What has Hill done? ,

Hill needs a lesson.in English,
too, One can libel at. person in
print, but nut slander him.

Doug Collins
West Vancouver

Us

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reached the public and {[ think it’s
about time it did.’*,

The Polish communists and na-
tionalists ‘promoted the larger

message it is conveying.
Derek B. Milne
North Vancouver

fully, most people don’t, one
“can. only be: stunned and
‘amazed at how low. our com-

~ Dark cloud over lotto win

* Dear Editor:

‘am writing in response to the
group of people from Smithers,
B.C., who won the Lotto 649 at
the end of October., That was

+ fantastic!

I enjoyed seeing the news clips
of them frolicking throughout the
Lower Mainland, : enjoying
themseives, spending as they

pleased.

It. was especially great to sce
them buying and sitting in their
new dream cars.

Then it happened.

Like a huge dark cloud hovering

« ‘above my head, thunderous and
raining, abruptly ending my

gleeful moment. The sky must
have fallen, or was it a glimpse of
one of our many government
policies?

When the reporter stated that
some of the Lotto winners pur-
chasing the cars were exempt from
the. $40,000 in taxes, due to First
Nations privileges, I was appalled.

Firstly because of the exemption
and secondly because there is
another $40,090 this strapped
government is without...
em ... What about those Jays,
eh?

Cc. Cunningham
North Vancouver

LONSDALE QUAY
NORTH VANCOUVER

988-6321

figures to serve a political pur-
pose.”

According to Hill, ‘‘scholars
have proven that the Red Cross
never provided a figure of 300,000
(who died in the camps).”’

But a Red Cross report dated
May II, 1979, states that the total

_ Was 271,304, plus a further 90,069

KWAN, DISTRICT

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West Vancouver School Trustee

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