CONFIRMED BACHELOR

Forty-three and ‘in love’

QUESTION: Fm 43 years of
age and, for the first time in
my life, P'm in love! 've been
a confirmed bachelor and
have done rather a lot of
talking about it. ’'ve thought

the bachelor's life was in-
vented for me and never had
a serious though about
wanting to be married.

Before I get to my
question, I ought to tell you
that I am a man who has
always enjoyed women. I am
attracted to them and turned
on by them and have en-
joyed them tremendously. I
think, perhaps, I am at more
at home with women than
men. I talk with them easily,
enjoy a wide variety of
activities with them, and, to
my knowledge, I have never
shown them disrespect.

Now then, fn the last 5
months this very, very
special lady has become a
part of my life in a way that
no one else has ever done. I
like her and I love her and I
want to marry her. BUT! I
wonder if my many years of
adult freedom may have
conditioned me against a
more settled and responsible

way of life. I wonder how
well I would learn to co-
operate and share and
choose to be committed.

Do you have any opinions
or statistics that you would

share with me about how
likely it is that a 43 year old
bachelor would come
through well in a marriage?
By the way, the lady ts 37,
widowed for six years and
has no children. She is more
attractive to me than any
woman J have known.

She is quite sexual, has a
good head on her shoulders,
holds down a responsible job
and is a lot of fun both
socially and when there are
only the two of us.

STEWART: Look, we are
not thinking about some
imaginary statistic who is a
43 year old male. We are
thinking about YOU. It is far
wiser and healthier for you
to look deeply inside
yourself than it is to study
the probabilities indicated
on some table of statistics.
You’ve known her 5
months. Not bad. But if you
have not already talked
about marriage with her, I

think it would be good sense
for you to go on enjoying her
for a longer time before you
do so. If you can feel trusting
and confident about your
relationship for a few more

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. He will
be at the International Plaza every Tuesday from 9:30 a.m.

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months, you will both be in a
much better space _ for
“talking it over”.

When you do talk, I would
suggest, (because of your
two ages) that you are frank
with one another about
whether you will want to
consider having children or
not.

Before I leave you, I
would like to lure you into
recognizing and respecting
your advantages as a 43 year
old bachelor. All other
things being equal, 43 is a lot
better than 19.

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C7 - Wednesday, Septessher 22, 1582 - Nerth Shore News

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