A2,- Wesinesday, December 23, 1981 .- North Shore News The purpose of human existence! After, lo, these many years of fretting and pox- dering, it finally came to me, clear asa bell. The purpose of human existence is to serve our dogs! Now that I understand, it all seems so simple. Why didn't I see it before? I offer my dog as absolute She's a St. Bernard. Weighs thousands of Devours enormous amounts of vitamin- food. Every once im a while, she chases the paper boy. Her main activity is sleeping. My wife and I slave away, day in, day out, to buy the food that keeps the dog alive so she can sleep some more. We provide her with a yard. And if she ever gets restiess (which sometimes Charged with gas station holdups A SUSPECT has been arrested and ts in custody. charged im connection with recent hold-ups of a North Vancouver late-night gas station. A Wancouver City Police patrohman on brs way to an alarm Wednesday last week nohtced a man seated im a car al the Chevron station at Renfrew and Grandvicw, who matched the description of a man bemg sought by North Van RCMP for local robbesnes. The Vancouver officer Stopped and checked the man and RCMP allege the officer found a hold-ap aotc SAMURAI JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE 83 Chesterficid Ave. North Vancouver 986-1155 strictly personal b y Bob Hunter It'sa dog's life I WAS looking at my dog and thinking about the meaning of life the other day when it hit me! happen during the bref interludes between naps) there is ai forest nearby where she can romp. Actually, ” is too strong a word. She doesn't romp so much as grind along. like an avalanche. When she barks (which she does sometimes when she wakes up, usually in the middie of the night), the trees vibrate. She has a DEEP voice. Other than _ sleeping. eating, chasing the paper boy and barking in the middle of the night, the dog's only other occupation, as far as I can see is shedding. on the suspect. Cari Franklin Broadmax. a provincial court im North Vancouver last Thursday and was charged im con- necton with seven hold-ups of gas stations. Broadmax. who ss 28, is charged with holdmg up a Vancouver gas. station October 15 and ai $120 robbery at the Main Sirecet and Mountain Highway Cheveron staton in North Van and Barnaby. mcludmg Come on, you say. This is insane. No rational person would spend a _ fortunc. especially in these times of inflation and high interest rates, to support a gigantic four-legged freeloader that does absolutely nothing useful. Exactly my point. I used to think that there was some sort of sensible motive behind the relationship between a man and his dog. What a fool I was! There’s no motive. At least, no human motive. Blinded by our own speciocentnc bias, we ut- terly fail to see that we are being manipulated like pawns in a vast canine conspiracy. Look closely at a dog and its so-called “master”. Who is serving whom? When was the last time your dog scratched your back? I have observed dogs in many different settings, from skinny little orange mutts in The Bahamas called the November 19 robbery at the North Van Main and Mountain Cheveron station, when $900 was stolen. Broadmax has remanded in custody. been Yous colour photographs are bac& Mm pst one hour Repmnts m onty 20 minutes ° AS ONE HOUR PHOTO you recerve supenor QUALITY and tas? SERVICE at no extra Onarge ~ Teme may very ac carding to work load Japan Camera Centre photo Capilano Mall 987-0780 “potheads” to “chows” in Hong Kong. I have observed that these creatures are invariably being kept alive by some human being. Aha, the plot thickens, doesn't it? For years I assumed that dogs must be parasites, particularly in a modern industrial society where about the only work they do is waking the neighbours at odd hours. But it just goes to show how wrong a guy can be. My dog is lying on her special shag rug by the fireplace, Ocassionally, she wakes up long enough to scratch or give herself another lick. Or else she practises her specialty: yawning. But she doesn't fool me for a minute. How long ago was it that dogs invented the first human being? It was a great idea. Why go to all the trouble of chasing rabbits when you can have dinner served in a bowl, packed. with nutritional supplements yet. And, of course, if you spell “dog” backwards, what do you get? That's right. And that’s what I've got lying there on the rug. 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