WHAT a great relief it was, how utterly liber- ating to be told by her that she didn’t particu- larly need to be all that sexy with him, either. “Really?” he exclaimed. “and you're not interested in anybody else?” “Cerrainiy not!” she replied. “Are you?” (Pregnant pause) “No,” said he. He had been anxiety-rid- den for some time, assuming that she wanted and needed more sexual intimacy, where- as he did not. Not thay he was impo- tent, nor anything like that, but, rather, quite content with the close bond of solid, committed, warm and affec- tionate friendship that they had enjoved fer many years. They had been very sexu- al at the outset, but had always noted that the natural chemistry, the attraction was primarily, well, not so much emotionally or physically based, as intellectual, spiritu: al...a solid soul attraction.. “karmic,” inevitable, soinc- how. They were both constant, loyal, equally fastidious, into cleanliness arid order. Now in his mid 50s, he had long been aware that he was behaving, with her, as he had, years before, with his former wife — rot initiating sex. Then, he was sublimating north shore news ALTERNATIVES For many, no sex can be a joy his sexuality. Was he again, now? Well... maybe. Was she, also in her mid- 50s, repressing her sexuality? Another source of concern. Ifso, perhaps, he oceasional- ly felt, he should pray for another man to come along, {as he had done before) so that she could be fulfitled. After all, he loved her that much, Bur, no, that was not what she wanted. She was relatively happy with the way it was. But, she wondered, “Are you projecting? Are you sure vou don't need more sex, more enliven- ment?” “No,” he immediately responded. “I don’t want to be ruled by my desire nature. “[ like being free of the pressure. “So it’s a major burden lifted trom: me not to have to anticipate the expectation to perform. So long as you're OK. As long as it doesn’t jeopardize our rela- tionshi And so it came to pass, to make a long story shorr, that their open, honest, commu- Chateaux and Folk Art Look nication actually served to re-stimulate their sexuality with one another... bevond just cuddling. And, as Martha would say, it was “a good thing.” Nor always the case. Research indicates that, gen- erally, human beings can teel sexual desire for the same partner tor approximately four years ~— what some anthropologists consider the natural, biological length of a relationship. Celibate relations are commen as time goes on, perhaps, normal. For many, he sex can be a joy. “Sex is not the only thing you want from a man,” says German author Gaby Hauptmann, She has written an erotic bestseller called Jat Search Of Aa Tnpotent Man, and has been quoted as saying, “It’s rare that a couple have a good friendship and want sex together. “They may have 4 good sex life but no friendship. They have nothing to taik about over breakfast.” However, exceptions abound for every rule. In my counselling and experience, I have found that the key is balance, which can be struck by the willingness to fearlessly overcome the taboo against communica- tion with your partner about what is most impor- tant — namely, your person- al connection and the good health of your precious rela- tionship. Robert Aiken ts an inter- nationally known professional astrologer and therapeutic counselor/teacher/writer with 40 years’ expertence. He offers empowering personal coun- sellinsy sessions as well as thor- ough, in-depth, tape-recorded astrolagical readings. Phone Carole : 920-4961. 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