AS I write this I’m just
finishing off my annual in-
come tax return, the only
time of year when my soul
yearns to hear the pitter-
patter of little (ax-deducti-
bles running under foot.

HUGHES' VIEWS

It’s a funny thing about
children, On any other occasion,
another taxpayer’s progeny would
strike me as nothing more than a
tiny bag of terror, seemingly being
trained by the PLO in all the tac-
tics necessary to ensure a bloody
takeover of the Gaza Strip.

But every April 30 that view-

~.. point changes. Legally deductible
- offspring suddenly seem to glow
with a certain je ne sais quoi

tuminance ... gold, probably.

What was once a package of
sheer fright becomes a delightful
envelope full of cash — $417, to
be precise (enter this amount at
line 304).

Alas, for me, that loophole

_ always remains unlooped. —

{ sometimes wish I could con-
vince the government that Snag-
glepuss was the likely name of a
human offshoot of mine and not
that of a voraciously dependent
cat.

However (and this is an impor-
tant point for any tax-police out
there to remember), I would

ICCOO!

Dear Editor: ;

In each of our neighborhoods,
we have a lot of residents that are
not human.

Of these, the most intelligent
and adaptive is: probably the ra-
coon.

never, ever consider trying that, so
long as | live, world without end,
‘Amen,

This is because | am an honest,
concerned citizen, determined to
pay his fair shave to reduce our
growing deficit, and has nothing
whatever to do with my actual
fear of, say, prison.

Not that the tax department
would ever toss me in jail. Ha ha,
that’s a good one.

No. They'd take over my
apartment, my car, my furniture,
garnishee my wages and take the
spare cash out of my penny
loafers.

Then they'd toss me in jail.

Just kidding. Tax persons are,
in reality, merely ordinary folks
like you or me, or, for that mat-
ter, Attila the Hun and the Mar-
quis De Sade.

They like nothing better than to
sit around the Recetver General's

- office swapping T4 humor:

“Did you hear the one about
the taxpayer who thought he
could avoid payment because he
was dead? Obviously, he forgot
about the gold in his tecth!’’

Seriously, we all know that the
government is greatly in need of
our funds. 1 thought of this fact
while pondering that ominous linc
near the end of page four on the
tax form: It is a serious offence to
‘make a false claim.

(Lhate it when they don's clari-
fy these statements. How serious,
exactly? Will I get five to 10 ina
maximum-security facility? When
will I be eligible for parole?)

One sign that our country is in
somewhat of a fiscal pickle occur-
red last week.

Our credit rating by the Cana-
dian Bond Rating Service was
downgraded after the release of
Don Mazankowski’s budget from
triple-A to double-A plus.

What this means, as far as I can
figure, is that when Mulroney
goes to cash a cheque, he'd better
bring picture ID.

Of course, that only applies
when he’s shopping out of the
country. Within Canada, where
we know him rather well, he pays
cash, uses his Visa, or gets out of

the store.

Mind you, the downgrading of
our credit is not the only humilia-
tion this nation has to face.

{don’t mind telling you that my
hand quivered with a patriotic
fervor over the ‘‘sign here’’ spot
on the Tl when I thought of poor
Don Mazankowski delivering his
budget last week while standing
not in the customary new shoes,

but in recobbled ones.

When | think of what a symbol-
ic sacrifice this was, and what in-
dignities the Maz had to endure
while stuffing the shameful loafers
in that chauffeur-driven limo to
make the 450-kilometre trip to
Ottawa to (I suppose) the nearest
shoe repair shop in Orillia, my
heart still swells with a kind of
nationalistic pride.

Whats that sound? Have
: they started logging
Clayoquot already?

fears caused

These wonderful masked
creatures are usually welcome
because they cause little trouble
except for a few raided garbage
cans and some rolled-up turf.

Even so, many of us are ner-
vous around racoons, and that

nervousness is heightened by the
tall tales and misinformation that
is prevalent about these friendly
and social creatures.

It is by far the best for racoon
families not to be disturbed.

Any inconvenience to us is at

Intersection now a major hazard

Open letter to West Vancouver
Mayor Mark Sager:

_ | totally agree with your con-
cern about the proposed taxes on
’ homeowners introduced by our

provincial government.

At the same time, it behooves
you to pay some attention to what
is going on in your. own back
yard.

Thanks for the information

» Dear Editor: .
’1 would like to thank Tom
Henderson of Norh Van for
: Making available, in his letter of
Friday, April 23, an address to
which one may direct a protest of
the intrusion of Oriental
programming in my favorite radio
station, CHQM's Memory Music.
It is the only Socal station to
which one may listen and enjoy
- good music, and not have the
eardrums assaulted by today’s —

raucous so-called music and/or an
assortment of talk shows.

1 have written a letter to the
CRTC as Mr. Henderson sug-
gested, and sincerely hope thou-
sands of other music Jovers will
do the same.

Please don’t let this station
become yet another acquisition of
off-shore money — we want to
keep Memory Music!

Charlotte R. Excell
West Vancouver

Your traffic department recently
installed new traffic lights at the
Taylor Way-Upper Levels High-
way intersection.

Why this was absolutely neces-
sary is another matter; however,
the time sequencing of these new
lights is such a mess that this in-
tersection is now a major traffic
hazard and tie-up.

The sequencing of the lights
prior to their replacement was

‘great, and ensured a smooth traf-

fic flow in all directions. The new
sequencing does the opposite.

} and many of my fellow travel-
Jers using Taylor Way would ap-
preciate it if you would correct
this matter,

Peter Wiecke
West Vancouver

worst very temporary and can —

often be avoided by a change in
our own attitudes and by taking
simple precautions.

For example, a low voltage wire
is all that is needed to keep ra-
coons away from pools and hot
tubs.

Racoons do not attack, kill and

devour the family cat, nor do they

pose a threat to humans.

in fact, the many racoons that
come into our yards respect us
and our cats, who in turn show no
animosity towards the racoons.

If we just leave racoon families
alone to live their livés in peace,
they will return the favor.

attitude of

14, orth Shore News

Or perhaps it’s just nausea.

Still, Canada’s cash woes are
enough to make art honest tax-
payer like me quite willing to sac-
tifice a couple of perfectly legiti-
mate deductions, Next year,
maybe.

And you can enter that one at
line 486.

No, its ust

the \utest eublic.

opinion pol| |

Had this been done this spring
‘jn North Vancouver, there would
not have already been four racoon
kits that now need special care -
and may not make it, and at least ©
three others that were euthanized
— and the season is just starting!

Please, regardless of motive, do
not trap or attempt to relocate ra-
coons or other. wildlife
especially at this: time of year
‘when the mothers of all wild
species are desperately trying to
have their young: survive in a
world that we are making increas-
ingly hostile.
Chris Ryan
North Vancouver

Gres

AirCare workers ©

has contributed to financial mess

Dear Editor:

I find it absolutely ludicrous
that unionized AirCare workers
are striking for a wage increase
from $7.25 an hour to $14 an
hour. -

No one, at any time, should
expect a 100% wage increase.

: It is this kind of “hold them
ransom’’ mentality that has
contributed to the financial

mess Canada is in today.

I can only hope the manag-
ing company of. AirCare will
stand firm by their offer of an
18% increase over three years,
which is a more substantial
wage increase than many
non-union workers are receiv-
ing.

Carol Finley
West Vancouver