THE TELEVISION lady in the thousand dollar dress said that moviegoers of all ages lament our loss of the great Greta Garho. That’s what she said. All ages. Well, dear Columbia Broad- casting Corp., all ages includes my age and I, as one watcher of mo- tion pictures, have suffered no sense of loss whatever. As for others of all ages, namely such ages as 15, 20, 25, 30 and 35, you might find it necessary to nail them to the theatre seats and Scot- ch-tape their eyes open to get them to watch an entire Garbo movie. She was an admirable woman, because she refused to surrender her privacy to the idle curiosity of the mob. But had she never ap- peared in a single moving picture our loss, if detectable, would have been sustainable. Ms. Garbo just didn’t have much talent. What she had was luck.’’ When I was a kid and subject to the cultural dictates of adults dumb enough to believe what Hollywood told them, I was coerc- ed into watching a Garbo movie. I would have preferred to be stomping my feet in the nickelo- deon to Zane Grey’s Riders of The Purple Sage but I went, as kids Taust. The experience led me to an ear- ly, puerile belief that I didn’t like Ninotchka and that the lady pretending to be Ninotchka didn’t amount to much either. J am immensely older now, infi- nitely wiser and so mature that I am in danger of spoiling. I have had the further benefit ofhalfa century’s instruction from flocks, herds, schools and shoals of movie critics who acclaim the magnifi- cence of Greta Garbo. Now again, at her death, televi- sion, radio and newspapers are beating me about the lugs and in- sisting that I mourn the film in- dustry’s loss. Bending and creaking under so much pressure, I have rethought the whole matter. My conclusion is that she didn’t amount to much. She was neither a poor actress, like Jane Russell, nor a great one like Bette Davis. She occupied a position in the great middle ground: actors who can portray two or three characters adequately, but are subject to the fainting fantods if asked to stretch their talents to include one or two other roles. Ms. Garbo just didn’t have much talent. What she had was luck. She had been one of many at- tractive young women who regis- tered well on the primitive silent motion picture cameras of the ear- ly 1900s. When the talking moving picture was introduced, Hollywood made a horrid discovery. Some of silent films’ most gorgeous peacocks turned out to have voices every bit as frightful. Mata Hari just isn’t believeable if she talks like Donald Duck. Ms. Garbo’s voice was pitched lower than most and being, ap- parently, a person of some natural dignity she was able to speak to the movie patrons without getting on their nerves. Her parts in talkies were not ones that would be considered de- manding or challenging today. One of the treasured gems from her past to which TV treated us last week was a scene where Ms. Garbo said the word ‘‘divine’’ nine times. Well, it seemed like nine times. The Garbo legend, they cail it. It is a variation of the Charlie Chaplin legend. He was a clown with droopy pants, a wordless Woody Allen. When we hear his name we are expected to genuflect. But his movies today bore almost everybody rigid. If they were great, why is it so hard to see why now? The celluloid has not been altered. They are every bit as available. So why aren’t they as attractive as the other reruns like The Wizard of Oz, Third Man and almost any old movie of any kind in which Sidney Greenstreet ap ed? Chaziin. Garbo. Buster Keaton. Keystene Cops. They are only curiosities today. Perhaps the time has come for a few people to ask whether any of them were ever anything more. . Of them all, Ms. Garbo was the most attractive in that she disdain- ed Hollywood and let it show. She - treated movie fame as a burden rather than a triumph. She declin- ed tinsel crowns and scorned publicity stunts. She grabbed Hollywood’s money, ran with it and hid. That proved she had in- telligence and good taste. But she was not a great actress, and I would be grateful to the hype merchants of the 1990s if they would cease demanding that I pre- tend to believe that. DESIGN FINISHED PRODI Recycied Dp PRODUCT 32443 Marine Drive. West Vancouver 922-0247 Buwen 947-9745, “ENRICH YOUR FAMILY LIFE Host an overseas student. Remuneration for room and board. Short or long terms available. -CALL STUDENT HOUSING COORDINATOR 683-1199 Pacific Coast Language School #200 - 535 Howe St. 9 - Friday, April 27, 1990 - North Shore News RIME ALERT FROM THE NORTH SHORE’S POLICE FILES THE FOLLOWING is a list of re- cent North Shore crimes: NORTH VANCOUVER CITY NORTH Break and enter — 1000-bIik. Lonsdale Ave. Entry gained by prying and jim- mying door. Stolen: cash. Break and enter — 100-blk. W. 20th St. Entry gained through bedroom window. Stolen: VCR. Break and enter —- 1000-bIk. Lonsdale. Entry gained by breaking glass of front door. Stolen: cellular phone. Break and enter — 300-bik. W. 5th St. Entry gained by breaking window. Stolen: tobacco. Break and enter — 300-blk. E. 3rd St. Entry gained through unlocked rear door. Stolen: purse containing coins and various credit cards. Break and enter — 1000-bik. Chester- field Ave. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: vacuum with spare bags. Bresk and enter — 300-bIk. E. 4th St. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: cash. Break and enter — 100-bik. W. 4th St. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: fridge. Break and enter — 100-blk. W. 6th St. Entry gained by snapping lock off. Stolen: dome tent and sleeping bag. LYNN VALLEY Break and enter — 1000-bik. Lynn Valley Rd. Entry gained by cutting padiock. Stolen: shovel and Chindaiwa blower. Break and enter — 1000-bik. Westover Rd. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: cameras, cash and coins plus day back pack. Break and enter — 100-blk. Charles St. Entry gained by removing front door lock. Stolen: 30 pound easter egg and chocolate bars. PEMBERTON Break and enter — 1000-bik. Pember- ton Ave. Entry gained by smashing front door. Stolen: microwave, por- table phone, change and five porcelain ollls. Break and enter — 1000-bIk. W. 14th St. Entry gained by breaking window. Stolen: cash. Break and enter — 900-bIk. Marine Dr. { gourmet vegetarian and $275 21-3 B® Work Study with the m Holiyhock Community $385 Love & Malice $575 Andrew Feldmar 2B-2 Ss $575 Ann Mortifee , JUNE 49 The Sierra Club's Personal & Planetary Health $475 49 ® Tibetan Buddhism $375 y Lama Tashi Namgyal 16-18 f Basket Weaving $275 18-23 Personal Healing $625 18-23 Reiki $575, 19-24 Photography $575 Dewitt Jones ° te SUMMER PROG Entry gained by unhooking door. Stolen: cash. SEYMOUR Break and enter — 2000-bik. Mt. Seymour Parkway. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: VCR, liquor, jewelry and camera. Break and enter — 400-bik. Ellis Ave. No signs of forced entry. Stolen: cam- era, pocket size TV, Walkmans. Break and enter — 2000-bik. Dollarton Hwy. Entry gained by smashing door. Stolen: food. Break and enter — 3000-bik. Apex Pl. Entry gained through front door. Stoten: video game with cartridges, cassette player, camera, jewelry, bat- tery charger, clothing and _ shoes, weights, TV converter and remote con- trol, U.S. and Canadian cash. Break and enter — 1000-bik. Bruce St. Entry gained from front bedroom win- dow. Stolen: multi system TV, coin box containing cash. THEFT FROM VEHICLES 1000-bik. Clements Ave. Stolen: fog lights from Honda Accord. Grouse Min. parking lot. Stolen: De- scente ski clothing, shoes and banner. 1000-bik. Chesterfield Ave. Stolen: 20 tapes. 600-blk. E. 3rd St. Stolen: wallet con- taining ID. 100-bik. W. 3rd St. Stolen: stereo. 200-bik. ©, 2nd St. Stolen: two tennis rackets valued at $400, tennis balls and grey nylon bag. More Alert Page 11 “Far lhe Lady of Viscer ning Teste" If you are looking for the ultimate in friendly ser- vice, quality classic fashions in appealing surroun- dings, visit our store located in City Square across from City Hall (12th Avenue & Cambie). Classic Lines Such As: Devernois © Lucia ® Geiger © Gerard Pasquler © Aquascutum © Marie France @ Ballantyne Edith Strauss © And many other fine designers. CITY SQUARE 12TH AVENUE AND CAMBIE {across from City Hall) 872-7374 Far away is close to home. Spectacular island setting 150 kilometres north of Vancouver. Enjoy moming yoga and meditation, natural history tours, RAM 1990 seafood cuisine. 5-10 . 75 Cancer seminar $575 -25. 8 12-19 Relaxation Retreat ti Meditation $315 95.30 ° $678 19-21 Body Work $575 $575 $575 $575 $575 $575 $575 $575 9-14 Go: The Strategy Game 16-21 The Modem Warrior George & Annie Leonard 16-21 Music For Everyone David Darling 23-28 Drums Babatunde Olatunji $575 $595 $575 23-28 A Family Holiday Phone or write Hollyhock for rates 30-4 Shamanic Initiation $625 8 Personal retreats welcome. Enjoy the amenities of Hollyhock without taking a workshop. $75/day double occupancy. Reservations and deposits of $100 accepted over the phone with your Visa or MasterCard number. For more information write for our free 24-page brochure: Hollyhock, Box 127, Manson's Landing, Cortes Island, B.C. VOP iKO. Or phone 1-935-6465. 30-4 Adult Children of Alcoholics AUGUST Craft & Muste Fair $575 11-13. The Rebirth of Nature Rupert Sheldrake 25-30 Tai Chi/Meditation dudyth O. Weaver SEPTEMBER 16 Relationships 9.29 Meditation with the community 30-8 Work Studi Hollyhock OCTOBER 1-6 Money, Work & Personal Purpose 27 aper Making 9.14 Mushroom Conference David Arora & Paul Stamets