4 - Sunday, December 30, 1990 ~ North Shore News Hang in. It’ll soon be over CONSIDER THIS an in- vestigation into the phe- nomenon known as “Christmas.” I’ve talked to an awful lot of people who state flady that they think Christmas sucks. I've had these kinds of conversations with people before, of course. Who hasn't? And while [ profess noisily that Christmas is a hassle, and a de- meaning one at that, come Christmas morning and a wee wave of happiness washes over my jaded soul. That is, | think it's happiness. it might just be a litle piggie shiver of gluttonous fullfilment, the spiritual equivalent of a loud burp. 1 mean, look at all that junk under the tree! It’s disgusting, yet. it is also peculiarly satisfying. But then, any number of perverse practices are fun, I’m told. I can get pretty tangled philo- sophically when it comes to the subject of Christmas. [ mean it’s fine for people who celebrate the birth of Jesus, just like it is fine for native people to hold potlat- ches. As far as I'm concerned, I'd just as soon head down (o a trop- ical island and sip something in the shade of a palm tree while the waves lap at my feet, y-know? As fate would have it, over the past 26 years, I have had a string of four children, one of which was always into the Christmas mode. simply not possible for us to get through Christmas without play- ing the Christmas game — for Emily's sake. Emily, f sometimes suspect, knows pertectly well there is no Santa Claus, because she routinely sees through better ruses than that every day. However, such is Emily’s sharpness that she understands perfectly in order to keep on get- ting all those goodies under the Christmas tree, and she has to demand that we play the Christmas game, and she does this by playing the Christmas game harder and more industriously than anyone else. So anyway, we play Christmas, and J grudgingly go along with the gig. ['m not all weird for feeling this way. All sorts of people feel this way. The potlatch system was more efficient than the Christmas because it involved a real redistribution of wealth in the community. The wealthiest would give away everything his or her clan had assembled except for the bare necessities. Whoever's clan gave the most away became the most respected, the politically powerful, the number-one family. In the process the family jewels were handed over to the rest of the band. Nobody went without, because even the poorest received some of the loot. Sooner or later, the number-one family would be invited to some- one else's potlatch, and then another, and another. Although it Bob Hunter STRICTLY PERSONAL might take a generation or more, the wealth would be distributed back piecemeal to the original givers. Under the Christmas system, everybody gets a bunch of basical- ly cheap junk from family and friends, who likewise receive a stack of junk, You just can’t af- ford to give everyone you know and love a really classy, ultra- expensive gift, such as we all know they so richly deserve. So there is this compromise. We exchange junk. We add enor- mously to the waste stream. Et cetera, et cetera. We all know the rap. Anyway, that’s the negative side of our investigation. On the plus side, well, what? There are the huge number of parties that all happen within a week or so of each other. Everybody gets caught up in this feeding frenzy of party-giving and party-going. It reminds me of ru: h hour. The nuttiest thing about our society is the fact that we all get off work at about the same time, thereby clogging the roads and bridges which would otherwise serve us perfectly well. Similarly, the Christmas party season causes lifestyle gridlock, forcing vou all onto this freeway of mostly useless over-con- sumerism. It’s not that I don't like going to 4 party now and then. But seven or 10 in a row? Help. I suppose it serves some pro- found purpose, other than giving merchants a badly-needed buying curve that would otherwise never have happened, people being too sensible normaily to spend a lot of monev buying presents for ail sorts of relatives you don’t other- wise have all that much to do with. That profound purpose could have to do with guilty feelings about not paying enough attention to folks, or being too selfish for the rest of the year. It might also have to do with the deeply religious urge to pay homage to the tribe, an impulse going back, so far as most city-dwellers are concerned in the industrialized world, to ancient times. And of course it is just possible that it might have something to do with the deepest urge to express love sometimes. In which case, it could very well be, as its propo- nents contend, an impulse called forth by God. If that in fact is the reason Christmas occurs, then who am I, a mere mortal, to resist such an awesome thing? Just in case it is indeed a sacred happening, Merry Christmas to you. If it ain’t, good luck, and hang in there. I'l be over soon. a My youngest is six, and it is 99 AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT Regarding the GST Every North Shore News carrier was recently given a special reflector to wear. It is highly reflective being visible up to 500 metres. We trust North Shore motorists will To help our guests digest this “NEW TAX” — when you dine at our Restaurant, we will swallow the For the Month of January 926-8922 445-13th Street West Vancouver take care and watch out for our carriers on these dark winter nights. For information on how you or your child can be a carrier please contact our Distribution Department. DISTRIBUTION 986-1337 1139 Lonsdale Avenue North Vancouver, B.C.