THE LONDON Independeat's weekly magazine reported in Novensber on the Hush-a-Bye Baby Club in southern England, whose adult male‘members dress as feniale infants and refer to themselves as “Baby Michelle," “Baby Cathy,” etc, “Mummy Clare” runs the club, charging about $410 a night ($140 for non-members), which includes baby food, bottled milk and diaper service, Spanking is about $7 more. In East Bernstadt, Kentucky., in December, Jimmy Humfleet, 33, was churged with the murder of his uncle, Samuel Hunfleet. According to he focal sheriff, Jimmy said he did it because he caught Samuel having sex with one of the two pit bulls belonging to the owner of the trailer in which they had been pare lying. In fact, Jimmy had called 911 twice that evening to report the molesting. A deputy shot and killed the dog later that evening because it was foaming at the mouth and had attacked him. An autopsy: on Samuel turned up no evidence of molestation. In August, the Economic Evening News of Taiyuan, China, - reported that a woman in her 30s, unidentified in the story, had eaten more than 800 rubber nipples from FRANKY & RALPH Pu" Some “Wit Animal!” ' You've NEVER KILLED To EaT, OR GATTLED FOR SHELTER OA A MATE, OR STRUGGLED DAY-10-DAY AGAINS? COLD, WET, DISEASE AND DANGER! eam, eg Ueeor Compiled by A.P. McCredie baby bottles in the last three years. A province health official said all family members apparently like the smell of rubber. Dr. Walter H. Kaye, reporting in a recent medical journal, found that femate bulimics retained around 1.200 calories of food after they purged — no matter how much food they had taken in or what their regurgitation rate was, Kaye and his colleagues came to this conclusion by carefully studying the content of WE'VE BEEN FISHING NOW FOR OVER 3 HOURS... AND STiLL NO SIGN OF LiFe } © Thomas Burton AMANDA HOTEL sutte A > "PYROMANIACS ANONYMOUS MEETING try the subjects* “vomitus.” In January and) February, Oklahoma City police turned up several motorists who had pur- chased automobile liability insur- ance coverage ander “God's Insurance Policy.” The salesmen had convinced the customers that such coverage would comply with Oklahoma's mandatary-insurance law, even though the $285 policy contained mostly text from the Bible, stated that it was “issued by the Father. Son and the Holy Ghost," and reasoned that since it was “fear that caused accidents, the policy would protect its pur- chasers even better than commer- cial insurance woutd. Respanding to a spate of rab- beries and killings of tourists, Florida lawmitkers have proposed issuing temporary licence plates that would make it easier for visi- tors to disguise themselves as locals, A committce of the Florida Senate has passed a measure that would allow visitors to purchase six-month Florida licence plates for USS50 for their vehicles. The mea- sure must still be passed by the full - legistature and signed by the gover- nor, YEAH, T’M LOSING A WHOLE LOTYA Steep OVER THAT. HOROSCOPES Mother Earth isn’t such a lady after all Z _ HEAVENS ABOVE SEX-TYPING THE planet we live on as female (Gaia, Earth Mother, Goddess) is widespread among our world’s cultures, but does this identification — which comes complete with an archaic view of gender defin- itions —- do a disservice to women, men and the planet alike? One of the best-known of these myths derives from the ancient Greeks, whose Gaia the Earth Goddess was distinctly feminine. British atmospheric scientist James Lovelock named his revolu- tionary Earth systems theory Gaia. * Some of us have examined the New Age movement's appropria- - tion of the Gaia hypothesis. We note that contrary to some New Age thinking, Lovelock didn’t intend ’ Gaia to be a target of Goddess wor- ship. According to the scjentist, .. “From the Gaian perspective, what’ may be important to (humans) may |. : nol be important to Gaia. In‘fact ..., Gaia is no doting mother, and ifa « species messes up, she eliminates it with all the feclings of the micro- brain in an ICBM. To Gaia, humans may not be as important as algae.” Intuitively. it's casy to view Earth's attributes as fernale, as womblike. Soil accepts seed and nurtures plant life. Wetland and oceans act as immense petri dishes to culture living organisms. But in our culture, words matter: The masculine dominates the femi- nine. ; To consider the Earth in terms wholly female implies that it is to be acted upon at our will. Plowing fields, cutting timber, mining ore, buming rainforests and dumping our garbage into landfills and oceans are actions that charac- terize this view of the Earth as an entity we dominate. . Definition’? Earth Mother: 1. the plane earth regarded, as in mythoto- gy. as the source of all life; 2. any ~ buxom, sensuous woman who is inclined to mother others. The concept of Earth as mother carries with it all the baggage of a Freudian holiday. In our cadture many of us are deeply ambivalent toward our mothers. (Consider the volumes of derogatory mother and mother-in- taw jokes in circulation.) We treat the feminized Earth as passive and submissive to our advances. How often do we use such phrases as “exploiiing virgin forests." and “raping the land”? To be continued next week. March 6-12, 1994 + » Unfuniti T ARIES (March 2t.Aprit 20) Sunday could be your lucky day, Aries. Your intuition awakened, Monday. Tuesday, a smile on your face, Some love in your life, Mid-week, keep your promises, Your imagination soars, Friday, Saturday, address important relationship, Deal with emotions, tere: Ss rAURUS (April 21-May 20) Eucly week, Taurus, home life Mirred up. You go into high gear, Tuesday. Wednesday, promises made to you raay be broken, Listen well, A conversation with someone in authority bears truil, Thursday, Go out with new friends, Friday. Saturday “btings positive energy around friendships. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Under appropriate circumstances, Gemini, you could fallin lave, New energy at work, Monday. Tuesday, a new friendship. Mid-week, people around you squabble, No‘ need to be involved. Pushing things, Friday, brings disappointment. Free up and clear your emotional life. Saturday. OR CANCER Wune 22-July 23) \9 Sanday is for love, Cancer, Monday, many new ideas, Tuesday, a new frien at work, Wednesday, tricky. Avoid impulsive behavior, especially on the job. Tuesday, stintulating. Rise to the challenge. Have fun. Be creative, Friday, Saturday, a new moon, Be enjoyed! 2 LEO (July 24-Aug. 23) f Talk to a trusted friend, Sunday, Leo, Consider a major change, Your closest relationship, easier, Monday. Tuesday, travel plans bousted. Others undependable, mid- week. Want things done “right? Do then yourself, Be cooperative at work, Friday. - Saturday, feefings are close to the surface. VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23) Sunday, a great day to be with a love, Virgo, Your partner has a surprise,- Monday. Tuesday, friends support your ideas, atters improve, Wednesday,’ Buy a y Uicket, Don’t be tempted to take fiman- cial risks, Thursday, Sociable, Friday. Saturday, feelings clarified. ‘ Me LIBRA (Sept. 24-Oct, 23) Love and money well aspected, Sunday, Libra. Confusion, Monday. Avoid situations.’ Tuesday, 0 big day for partnerships, Mid-week, ignore rumors, A friend has good advice, You find a'way to, alter your self-image. Friday: Saturday, get ready foractions. 0 0 Op Se “SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) | Good things coming your way, Scorpio. Wear something spectacular, Monday. Bring health coutines to their high- est levels, Tuesday, Mid-week, you require more’ patience. Competition at work, Thursday. Friday, quiet. Drift along and be enjoyed. It could be a wonderful weekend. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21)- Sunday. Sagittarius, you could feel very good, Put off that decision, Monday, * Consider your options, Tuesday, your mind wanders ta far-away places. A critical eye on > you, Wednesday, Shrug it off, An unexpected houschotd expense, Thursday. Friday, quiet, Saturday. new ground niles at home. » |: B CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) Don't make ‘promises you can‘t keep, Sunday, Cupricorn, Keep thoughts to yourself, Monday. Others have good sugges- tions, Tuesday, Wednesday, you could over- do whet tying to impress. Big work load, Thursday. Get into high gear, Friday and Saturday could be fortunate for work, wv : Sv AQUARIUS (lan. 21-Feb. 19) You've been considering a carcer change, Aquarius, A close friend has good advice, Winteh spending, early week. A fumi- by problem finaly solved, mid-week. Be sin- cere, Thursday, Someone isn’t convinced. A wish comes true, Friday, Saturday, your heart could open. PISCES (feb. 2 Mureh 20) Someone wants to share a secret, Pisces, Open up and listen. Monday is for action, Finances get a boost, Tuesc next thite weeks, Express yourself clearly, Wednesday, Some confusion about money, Tharsday, ¢ Friday aff if you can, New beginnigs, Saturday. Robert Aiken is at internationally known ustroleger, metuphysician, therapeutic come scHor und workshop leader with 35 years clperience, He offers empowering pyychalo: cally and metaphysically oriented counselling sessions, as well as thorongls, imdepth axirn- logical reedinus. Contact Carale; 929-4049.