10 - Sunday, June 14, 1992 - North Shore News

‘INSIGHTS |

Here today, gone to Maui

AT FIRST glance, it seems
like every ordinary voter’s
perfect dream.

Paul
Hughes

HUGHES' VIEWS

Take a politician, preferably
one who’s never been out of
land-sight before, and get him or
her to voluntarily step on a boat
headed for an infinitesimally tiny.
speck of land in ‘a vast, violent
ocean. :

There are, after all, critters in
that ocean. Huge, vicious critters,
such as the gigantic foot-biting
piranha, and the 12-tentacled,
. electrified cyclops. The four-
jawed nipple chewer. The
spikey-horned pelvis crusher.

1 know they’re out there. I saw.

them once on Jacques Cousteau.

Then there are the waves.
Enormous, cresting, deck-snapping
whatnots, just waiting for a poli-
tician-laden boat to ‘cruise by so
they can crash onto the deck and
snap it tosmithereens.

I’m not even going to. talk
about those mysterious triangle
thingies that swallow entire cruise
ships and suck, them down to
God-knows-where.

DIETS |
DON’T WORK. |

ADVERTISEMENT

BURNABY
435-3385

DOWNTOWN

64 Then there are the waves. Enormous,
cresting deck-snapping whatnots, just
waiting for a politician-laden boat to

cruise by... 99

Did I mention Typhoons?
Destructive, swirling...

Anyway, you get tHe picture.
What are the chances of one poli-
tician coming back from all that
danger?

Stim.

Fat.

None.

Yet, willing to risk all this is
our own West Van mayor, Mark
Sager. He has entered himself in
the Victoria to Maui International
Yacht race.

As I said before, sounds good.
Put politician in boat. Push boat
offshore, Watch boat sink. Ap-
plaud.

The trouble is, the wrong poli-
tician is getting on board.

Mark Sager is young. He is

vibrant. He knows how to get
things done. He has that dynamic
ingredient so rare in today’s poli-
ticians that it should be the sub-
ject of a scientific probe:
charisma,
Mark is doing this because,
along with his other shipmates, he
has a fondness for ‘‘challenge and
adventure. ”

He is also doing it to raise
pledges for the benefit of Canuck

House, a Vancouver hospice for:

terminally sick children. How can
you not like a guy like that?
Offhand 1 can think of several
other politicians I'd far rather see
step aboard a leaky dory with a
dicky compass. Nearly all of

.

: Diets don't work. Thal message is being heard loud and clear by
anyone who's ever lost weight only to put it back on agein.

Most diets are based on tow caloric cating. Thc public

has been conditioned to belicve that eating less is the only way

VANCOUVER

681-3232° 876-1009

them, in fact. Would any of them
have the guts to go, though? Can
you imagine their responses?

Brian Mulroney: ‘‘Well, you
know, I think there’s merit in
what you’re suggesting, but you
have to consider that we’re very
close to some constitutional an-
swers right now. Once we have the
questions, perhaps then...’’

Jean Chretien: ‘Speaking out
of one side of my mouth, I'd have
to say, no. But speaking out of
the other sidé of my mouth ...
Hey! I can’t speak out of the
other side of my mouth!”

Mike Harcourt: ‘“‘As you may
have noticed 1 am bald. In the
tropics, my head would burn. Yes,
I know there are things called
hats. And even though I made a
firm promise to the Hat Makers
Union during the election, you
have to consider the tough eco-
nomic times we're in...”

Joan Gadsby: *‘VIl go only if I
can be Captain. If 1 don’t get to
be captain, 1 walk off that ship.
There's this banquet I've been in-
vited to...°”

For God’s sake, stay home,
Mark. We'll raise money for the
hospice some other way.

Perhaps, if we could persuade
any or ail of the above politicians
to get in the boat in your stead,
citizens would be willing to pay up
to a dollar a mile ... provided they
don’t come back.

losing muscle mass.

to be thinner. In reality, the body necds lots of food to mect its
energy demands. If you starve the body, it responds by lowering
its meinbolism to a rate where it can survive. It does this by

CERTIFICATE / DIPLOMA
SHIPPING

and

MARINE OPERATIONS

© A Unique, Exciting Program.
‘ ” Specializing in the shore
sector of the marine

industry.

The business of shipping offers an exciting and challenging
career. Meeting the ever-growing demands of international
trade requires specialized knowledge and enthusiastic people.
PMT. is meeting the challenge by offering a
certificate/diploma in Shipping and Marine Operations.
These programs include hands-on experience, as well as
academic studies.

Full time and evening classes commence September 9.

Pacific Marine Training Institute
265 West Esplanade Ave., N.Van.,-B.C. V7M + 1A5

(located west of the SeaBus Terminal)
For more information call 985-0622

Only proper and consistent excrcise and sensible nutrition
will msintain a lean appearance for.a lifetime. Going on and
off diets is hard on the body and does tivle to premate good
health.

ARE YOU TIRED OF PEOPLE.
JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR.
GREAT PERSONALITY?

Lets face it. Looks matter. That's why we take the time:to create
a personal fitness program designed to bring out the best in you. With guidance _
from our fitness consultants, you can achieve your goals quickly. When
you start feeling your best, you'll start looking your best. And that'll give people

awhole lot more to talk about.

Ask about our Quick- Fit introductory program. Just $13 a month pay as you go.

COQUITLAM
421-7999

RICHMOND.
278-3831

Plus a

aone time initiation fee of $49.

NORTHSHORE
986-3487

VICTORIA
388-5558

SURREY
588-1517