‘Freelance

Hayden “Stewart. may
reached. at -'261-6242_ for
appointments for individual,
family or group counselling.
His new. office in the Plaza _
International ‘Hotel (open
Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of North Shore
residents..

QUESTION: You often hear
about some guy who gives up
his work and with it his
security in order to “get
away from it all” and just
sort of loaf around and do
nothing .of a practical
nature.

Well, I have a friend who
was bit by that bug two years
ago when he was only 43,
and moved away to what he
calls “a slow, quiet place”. It
was the craziest thing I ever
heard of. He had good
health, a very good job, no
worries. that I know of and
(except for this strange
whim) he has always been
steady and responsible. .

I tried to talk him out of ft
at the time, but he didn’t

Disappointed
that friend ‘gave it all u

QUESTION: In the last year

or so I have had an odd sort

column or in- any other
reading I’ve done. I'm 38

~. years. old and until last year |

this bother has never. entered a
_ * my mind. Pm afraid, ‘people -
Se will think La am: m shoplifting!

of ‘Tet me get it Straight that I ..
~ never shop-lift or even have a
. \ thought: about doing it. It’s.
. “mostly the clerks
_ , Stores that worry me,. but
_ also other customers do. Ido.
= ‘all sorts.of things to make
* myself look innocent. I carry
.. only’a small hand-bag, never’
big purse or bag, I leave my
coat. hanging open, I keep. -

in ‘the

my hands in my pockets, etc.

But the “other day I did. 2

thing which prompted me to
write you.. When I left a store

* where. I had been -doing .a

little purchasing, I was in a
big hurry and as I rushed

ever get seriously interested

in my arguments against his
flimsy plan.

- Well, the other day he let
me know he would be
visiting in Haney and could I
spare the time from my busy
schedule to have a visit.

+ J went to see him and he is-

still on the same kick. He
says he is perfectly well and
content and intends to stay.
with his plan. I was so
disappointed in his attitude:
Isn't it a sham for a life to be
wasted “just living”, as he
put ic?

He is really clever and
well-educated and was in a
position to rise to the top in

a waste!

“what he means by

I was hurrying away with
something I-had stolen. So I’
stopped just outside the door
and stood there for a few
minutes as though I was.
waiting for someone so the-

. Clerks would think I was O.K.
and not in any - hurry to

‘‘escsipe”’.

‘When realized what I was
doing I was disgusted with
myself for putting on such a
phoney act and decided Pd
ask . someone. what it all

‘meant and what could I do.

Can you help me?

STEWART: Perhaps you

swiped something when you

, .were..a kid and are still
lugging around with you" the

feeling that you have it in you

to be a shoplifter, 30 years

later! Most kids swipe
something or.other at some
time in their growing up and

a

his profession. As I say, what
I simply can’t
understand it and thoughtId .
tell you about it and hope

‘you would comment.

STEWART: You may have

left something out of your

letter, or perhaps I just
didn’t follow you well
enough to understand why
you. felt. his life is being
wasted.

Of course you didn’t tell us
“just
living”, but if it means what
Tm guessing, he may very
well be one of the wisest
persons around.

I think, when he told you
he was “just living”, he was
saving himself the bother of

toward the door E thought -
. one of the clerks might think

‘of fear that -don’t remember ~
being mentioned in your

“most kids ‘get “over
beautifully. Right now there
is a surge of shop-lifting
‘going on and we hear about it
so often that we are all

somewhat — self-conscious
about it.
“You may not be imagining

that. the clerks are giving you
the eye. They probably are.

They have been asked ‘to be.;

-on the alert and in many
instances have been trained.
in the procédures that their
company has seen fit to
adopt. _

So it comes back to YOU. It
makes good sense for you to.
refrain from doing things

that attract suspicion and it.

_ appears you are attending to

that. So, you have decided °
not to shop-lift and you have.

decided not to behave in such
a way that would actually
encourage salespersons to be
suspicious of you. That’s
your side of the matter. From

trying to justify to you what
he was doing with his life.
Has it ever occurred to you
that he feels better
living” than he would have
felt at “the top. of the
profession"? He may have
understood what is “at the

top” and decided wisely to —

choose something better.

Isn't it great that you and I ©

have no responsibility for
running his life the way you,

or I, think it should go? After |

all, each of us has a full-time
job “just living” in the way
we want to live. Perhaps all
three of us are happy with
our, choices. He sounds
content and fulfilled. I feel
content and fulfilled. How
goes it with you?

What's wrong with a little loathing?

QUESTION: Some kinds of
people J loathe, And what's
wrong with that if I may ask?

STEWART: Why do you
ask? Perhaps you are tired of

Is Hayden a helper?

QUESTION: Pm browned off
about counselling. Do you
honestly think you ever help
people?

STEWART: Not __ really.
Sometimes, unfortunately, it

At
Westview
Westview & Upper Levels

Norm
Hughsman

12 Yrs.

Member
Automotive
Retailers
Association

APPROVED AUTO
ARPAIA BEAVICES

it and considering to get rid
of your loathing. It will be so
rewarding for you!

One little helpful hint:
there are no “kinds of

may LOOK like I'm some
sort of HELPER. Sometimes
my clients THINK I am and
iell me Lam, but that doesn't
hurt so long as I don’t inhale
iil-

Gss0)7 08 Years Experience

Mike
Arnold

Esq

-people”,

Harry
Hollander

Say... We Repair It RIGHT The First Time

Call us for an appointment

there are only
people. That will make it
easier for you as you permit
yourself to replace your
bothersome loathing with

The only help I consider
valid is when a client finds
enough of his own resources
to be helpful to himself.
That's my aim, and the only
reason to continue — in
counselling.

lan
McGuifie

988-1918

‘something you'll enjoy so
much more. .

You don't deserve to be a
loather. Select a better tag
for yourself and live up to it!

broderm

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985'5550

204-122 EAST 441n. ST.
NORTH VANCOUVER

it’. there on,

suspicions of you.

-. 986-6222

“just.

Page 37, March 25, 1979- “Sanday Nowe, aoe

if people’ are
suspicious. of you, that is
THER problem, not yours.
Let them worry about you, .
but don’t YOU" worry about :
you too! —

: 4979
International Year
of the Child

One other’ thought. if you.
are dishonest about OTHER’
things, you will feel less free.
and. content about others’ ~

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Saturday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

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