Douc
PAHs

Man jailed for

driving offence

A VANCOUVER man has been
fined and jailed for driving we

‘: prohibited:

West.” Vancouver Police ‘had

checked a vehicle. Feb. 22 at| the |

- Horseshoe Bay ferry terminal land

found that 20-year-old Jamie Ryan

> Kimber of 103-2328 Cambridge

: IN THESE days of women’s lib, lesbians, and feminine
_-howlers, groaners and complainers of ali kinds, it is a
‘sobering experience to be reminded of the way we were.
And I’m not kidding, even though this is April Fools’ Day.

/ An the Year of Our Lord ‘1700, a

:. ‘little book called ‘The Compleat
' Maid"’ was printed. It has come .

’_ into my hands, and instructs lower /;
’ class gals on how to be gocd ser- ‘
*~ vants. In my opinion, it should be |
_ fe-issued. : : |
w~ u:The book begins with an Epistle , !
to all Young Maidens, and states:/

“Sweet Hearts.’’ :

aa O have: ‘with great pains and in-

. dustry ‘composed. this little Book,
as a rich Store-House for you, *. /
from whence you. may be furnish-
ed with such excellent: Directions !
as'may qualify you for, and make
you ‘capable of, serving the i
greatest person of Honor and -
Quality, or a’Gentlenian‘or -
Gentlewoman, either ji in City or,
Country.” , . Wash your‘mouth once a week in

There's a lot of praci ical: advice, _ White-wine, in’ which Spurge hath -
including how to.make Ecl Pye, been boyled, and you shall never

Seats Tart and Flummery Can--" be troubled withthe Tooth-ach, cm

“For deafness. Take Wild Mint, |,
mortifie it and squeez it in the :
‘hand till it rendreth j juice, then put”

> it in the car; change it often. This. |
will help the Deafness if the Per- ‘|

son:ever heard before. . i
“‘To'smooth the skin and take

away Morphew and Frekcles (sic).

* Annoint your face with the blood
of.a Hare or a Bull and this will. ;

_, take away Morphew and Freckles: |
-and smooth the Skin. : :

“For those who cannot hold. ~!
their Water. Take the‘bladder of a.
sheep, dry it it thoroughly beat it to

a “Having learned these, you
- Must remember,to be sober in
‘ your. countenzifice and discourse, |
not using any, wanton gesture
which. may give Gentlemen any oc-
casion to suspect you of levity,
and so court you to debauchery.*’
_ The maids were advised: ‘‘Be
careful that you rise carly every, ,
Morning, but more: especially on
Washing Days.”
The perfect servant was also a
bit of a doctor, it seems, for there:
_are prescriptions galore. ©
“To cure Corns. Take Beans, ‘
and chew them in your Mouth,
and then tye them fast to your
Corns; and it will help. Do this at"
night. ° : ’
!*How.to prevent Tooth-ach.

renich the writer does is tol mean -
how’'to raise it from the ground,
‘since that part begins with the

ords, “Slit her right down/in the ~
middle of-the Breast ;
divide“ her. equally,

se Morning and: ena
that you read ‘good Book:

“euphemisms. or fancy words in-
‘those days. They called stinking
king breath, not.“

‘All these things (meaning: the’ i
scriptions) are ‘fitted to the {

St.; Vancouver was driving while

under suspension for a poor ¢

ingrecord. | _. ae
Kimber appeared in West Van-

" couver. provincial court March |24. ;

He received 'a $300 fine and seven
days jail. zi —_
L100 i
: |

Ns ea preri sie

9 - Friday, April 1, 1988 - North Shore News,

or "SUNDAY APRIL 3, 1988
7... "10:30,a.m,'to 2:00 p.m.
in the brand new CRYSTAL ‘BALLROOM

Bring the kids... the. Easter, Bunny
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