Come one, come all and

CHRISTMAS IS coming. But contrary to the old ditty, the
Canadian goose is not getting fat. No, she’s being plucked.

We have become the world's
biggest welfare mark. And ihe
dumbest. It is doubtful whether
even the Swedes are as dumb.

We beg to be ripped of f. Come
to Canada in your thousands, the
goose tells the world, and we will
put you on welfare.

As a refugee you will get an
apartment, denticare, medicare,
even a TV set. Plus free job train-
ing for jobs that don’t exist.

Come one, come all. Last
August | disclosed that Col.
Muammar al-Qaddafi’s niece was
here in B.C. on welfare. Plus
brats. Now, we hear that a Somali
war lord’s wife is in Canada on
our pogey.

it’s a wonder we haven’t all
become neo-Nazis. But have no
fear. The meekest of the meek,
we're still handing out funds na-
tionally and internationally like
there’s no tomorrow.

Yes, the finance minisier has
announced some cuts in UI — to
the accompaniment of howls from
Gooseland. Also some cuts in
foreign aid.

But the likes of Zimbabwe
needn’t worry. By today’s stand-
ards the cuts are nothing — $642
million by the end of 1995. Which
still leaves billions. .

Where is Scrooge when we need
him?

This Canadian goose is like no
other goose. She can be plucked
even when there are no feathers
left.

We even give our wheat away.
According to the auditor-general
about $6 billion is owed on wheat
sales, and we'll never get it back.

That shouid have been a na-
tional scandal. But the goose is so
used to such news she’s already
forgotten about it.

Your goose-watcher can
remember -— and I’m not that an-

Doug
Collins

OWN THE OTHER HAND

cient — when the whole federal
budget was no more than $6
billion. But that was before we
went potty and started donating
runds to foreign bums, home-
grown bums and whiners in
Africa.

Africa! There’s a basket case
for you. Always was and always
will be. No goose can save it.

The only part that isn’t vet
done for is South Africa. But
once the world’s geese have their |
way, it too will be on the aid list.
Mark my words.

As for Somalia, we can fly as
many troops as we like into that
Devil’s Eden and things wil! be no
different after they’ve left from
what they were when they arrived.

Which reminds me. The 30,000
Somalian ‘‘refugees’’ who have
accepted the invitation to nest
here (and more are on the way)
know a good goose when they sec
one. The smarter ones among
them are running wonderful
welfare rackets.

The foolish bird's love for

phoneys is insatiable. When the
immigration minister announced
the refugee intake would be
reduced somewhat (and the
goose-watcher will believe that
when he sees it) a top goose in the
Canadian Council of Churches
said it was disgusting.

Our weifare system boggles the
mind. No one knows exactly how
much it is losing to frauds. But it
ain’t hay.

Investigators said last April that
in B.C. alone cheats have grabbed
about one-third of its total
welfare bill of $1.2 billion. Fraud
has become an industry.

What did the NDP do about it?
It increased welfare payments.
Love that goose!

In the Financial Post Diane
Francis reports that in Vancouver
a Vietnamese asked for welfare
because his wages were being gar-
nisheed, he not having paid his
Visa bills. :

He didn’t get it. But wait. A
week later his wife comes in,
claiming her old man had left her.
She demanded help and got it.

An obvious scam. But the NDP
rules don’t permit welfare officials
to go after a husband unless the
wife gives them permission to do
so. Which the woman didn’t.

Francis quotes sources in the
department as saying: ‘‘People
without identification are handed
money even though they may have
done the same thing down the
road in another office. And
there’s no penalty for double dip-
ping, such as getting welfare and
unemployment insurance at the
same time.’’

Who can blame the cheats when
the plucking is easy? John Gohn
pleaded guilty some months back
to bilking the system of over
$135,000.

Ontario is another fine place for
fun and games on the welfare
front, especially now that the

THE FOLLOWING people ap-
peared in North and West Van-
couver provincial courts recently
to face various churges:

Before Judge Bill Rodgers in
North Vancouver provincial court
on Dec. 9:

Genda Mati Singh, 38, of North
Vancouver, was fined $500 and
placed on probation for one year
after he pleaded guilty to theft of
merchandise from the Sears store
in North Vancouver’s Capilano
Mall on Nov. 18, 1992.

Roy Winter, 30, of no fixed
address, was fined $250 after he
pleaded guilty to possession of
cocaine on Sept. I, 1992, in North
Vancouver District.

Before Judge Doug Campbell in
North Vancouver provincial court
on Dec. &:

Colin Scott Simmons, 21, of
North Vancouver, was sentenced
to one day in jail after he pleaded
guilty to theft of food from
Overwaitea Foods Ltd. on June
17, 1992, in North Vancouver Ci-

ty.

Before Judge Doug Campbeli in
North Vancouver provincial court
on Dec. 7:

Jeffri Babeleh Alvaji, 21, of
North Vancouver, was fined $180
after he pleaded guilty to failing
to complete 50 hours of com-
munmity work service in North
Vancouver City as required under
a July 22, 1991, probation order.

Before Judge J.B. Paradis in
North Vacnouver provincial court
on Dec. 2:

Richard E. Neff, 40, of Van-
couver, was sentenced to 10 days
in jail and placed on probation
for one year after he pleaded guil-
ty to the theft of a shirt from
Sears Canada on Aug. 20, 1992,
in North Vancouver City.

Before Judge Reginald BD. Gran-
dison in West Vancouver provin-
cial court on Dec. |:

Ronald Brian Holmbert, 22, of
no fixed address, was sentenced to
45- and 15-day jail terms after he
pleaded guilty to theft of a licence
registration sticker and operating
a vehicle without a driver’s
licence. The infractions took place
between Nov. 29 and Dec. 2 in

Aldergrove and in North Van-

couver.

Michael Aubrey Smith, 31, of
West Vancouver, was fined $500
and placed on six months’ proba-
tion after he pleaded guilty to
committing assault in West Van-
couver on July 3, 1992.

Before Judge Reginald D. Gran-
disoa in Wes! Vancouver provin-
cial court on Nov. 30:

David Michael Shirley, 19, of
Arlington, Wash., was fined $300
and placed on one year’s proba-
tion after he pleaded guilty to
auto theft on Nov. 28, 1992, in
Burnaby.

A term of Shirley’s probation
States that he shall not be found
in Canada.

Before Judge Jerome Paradis in
West Vancouver provincial court
on Nov, 23:

Dione Frederick Lewis, 21, of
Squamish, was sentenced to five
days in jail after he pleaded guilty
to failing to comply with a proba-
tion order on Nov. 23, 1992, in
North Vancouver.

Wednesday, December 16, 1992 — North Shore News — 9

pluck the goose

NDP is in cominand.

Several dozen fotk from
Trinidad were arrested in Toronto
after having gone underground
when their refugee claims were
turned down. Nearly al! were
working and also drawing money
from UI and welfare.

‘“*Canadians”’ are going down to
the U.S., posing as refugees at
border crossings when they return
and then filing as many as four
welfare claims each. According to
investigators, these multiple

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claimants *‘tend to be Chinese, Sri
Lankans and South Americans.’’

Quebec plans to clamp down on
its fraud artists by giving in-
vestigators real powers. So what
happens? The Human Rights
Commission howls foul. “Inva-
sion of privacy.’’ ‘‘Violation of
fundamental rights!”

The goose loves being plucked.

a

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