8 - Friday, December 13, 1985 - North Shore News Doug Collins © get this straight ¢ THERE ARE -- or were -- two columnists whom I not only admired but worshipped. One was William Connor, the Daily Mirror’s Cassandra, who died of an overdose of Bloody Marys. The other was Jack Scott of the Vancouver Sun, who died of a less salubrious disease. Scott was a word-master and wonderful guy who wrote about everything and nothing, and it was his col- umns about nothing that i were the best, as the recently-published book of them shows. If you can read his stuff on chickens without split- ting your sides, you are just a hopeless case in the humor department. There is no space here to do the piece justice, but one of them goes like this: “Things have not been going too well in my hen- house, To begin with, one “of the girls dropped dead, -although she had been healthy and happy until the dast... “As soon as I discovered her body | hurried to Mr. Evans, the man who sold me the White Leghorns. I am always pounding on his door at night, a shaw! about ‘my head, asking him to hurry to the side of my brood. He never does, ‘ though...Anything can hap- _ pen to a‘chicken, he says, including dropping dead.”’ Then there was Scott on the phone, pretending he didn’t charging over for the house- * warming to which they were _ inviting themseives: “Solly; wlong numbah. Goombye, pleasie.”’ And Scott commeating on the facts of life as they relate to the double bed: “Laboratory tests have want his cronies | Dancing in shown that the average woman has a nocturnal foot temperature 40 degrees lower than the average male and very often approx- imating a bag of ice- cubes.’ Ain't it true? In 1958 he had al short but glorious career as the Sun’s editor-in-chief. | was working on what is now the Morning Wimp, and Scott phoned to ask whether I would toil for him for the then fantastic sum of $150a week. It took me all of three seconds to scoot from Vic- tory Square over to the old Sun tower on Pender. The stiff hand of cor- porate bureaucracy was soon to descend on the local dailies, but at that time they were more or less free of it. Don Cromie was the Sun’s publisher, and gave his col- umnists a free hand. Scott had kept bitching in print about what a rotten paper it was, so Cromie gave him the top editorial job and told him to get on with put- ting out perfection. The Sun’s newsroom had . had the reputation of being Canada’s version of Devil’s Island.. Under Scott, it quickly became Paradise Regained. Raises all round. the streets. Great and crazy assignments. Fashion Editor Marie Moreau was sent to Cuba to cover Castro. Sports editor Annis Stukis went to Taiwan to in- terview Chiang Kai-shek. You never saw such a party. Onc memorable Saturday night Scott armed 16 male reporters (including my shy self) with $50 each and told Us to go Out whore-hunting. We were. paid overtime, too! Our “mission: expose sex and sin in the Gomorrah of the West. Before the great exercise started, our intrepid party had to ‘ine up on a parking Jot to have a picture taken -- from the rear. Scott ran 16 stalwart; backs on the front page. | It couldn’t fast, and I got the news of Jack’s fall from office while on my ‘way back ‘from New- foundland, to which pro- vince I had been sent to report on -the sins of management in the great loggers’ strike of ’58. In the newspaper world, a day of national mourning was call- ed, and in the Toronto Press Club we all got sozzled. The word “Jove” does not come easily to male lips when other men dire spoken of. But in this case it is the only word that will do. We loved Scott. He was his ruefully sar- donic seff right to' the end. Six years ago, as; the Old Reaper drew near, Jack wrote to Mac Reynolds to say he was on his way to meet ‘‘the man in ithe long white nightgown’’, and Mac put the phrase into the obit. i If you want a merry Christmas, buy this book of columns that has come out under the fitting title “Great Scott!’? Sono Nis Press is the publisher, and it’s a steal at $9.95. Highrise approved From Page 5 Jack, will have a negative affect on the new building's easterly views, Council allowed the building to be 24% feet wider than bylaws permit because the alternative would be to add the space to the rear of the building, affecting the Crescent and Bellevue Towers’ views even more. Escaped con nabbed A FLEEING escaped _pris- oner was caught squeezing through a window in the Lower Lonsdale area early Sunday morning. Robert Thomas Tender- foot, 28, was caught crawl- ing out his back window on- to the fire escape soon after North Vancouver RCMP ar- rived at his apartment at 2 am. Tenderfoot, who had escaped from an Alberta prison, was serving time for possession of a dangerous weapon and break and enter. He was transferred back to Alherta Wednesday. MIND POWER in 1976, scientists at Stanford discovered some new information about the workings of the mind that completely revolution ized psychology, and led — for the first time -~ to a scientitic technology of the thinking pro- cess. It's now possible to tune your mind so it operates at peak elficien- cy and eflectiveness. You can develop the mind of a champion, achieving outstanding success in any area — sports, business, health — or in your (:ersonal relationships or financial goals. With these techniques, achieving your goals becomes } an automatic process, and success is quarantead...no longer a matter of chance, but of persona! vinsice. Anthony Hamilton, Canada’s leadii:g authority on this new “Mind Power"’, is on a national speaking tour to acquaint people with these new techni- ques. He shows yo. how to harness the power you were born with, but have never been shcwn how to use. Life Works!, a Vancouver company. is sponsoring a one-day seminar with Mr. Hamilton on Sunday, December 15th, a! the International Plaza Hotel, in North Vancouver, from 10am to 4:30pm The cost is $45.00 and is tully guaranteed. Registration is at the door, fifteen minutes before the seminar. You'll arrive home after this seminar knowing you can be a champion in any endeavour. You'll have the tools, the skills and the self-confidence to tap into your personal power and create the life of your choice. Decide now to attend this very special, one-day event. DEC. 15 INTERNATIONAL PLAZA B.C’s LARGEST SELECTION OF REMOTE | Karl Ray, director of K.A. Ray Ltd., was pleased with council’s decision, adding that the company did its best to accommodate neighboring residents and council. guaranteed. “ 160 Ib - 210 Ib average Offer expires. Dec. 18th/B5_ e. : CONTROL GAS & | , ELECTRIC CARS, PISTOL GRIP RADIO BOATS, PLANES 8 HELICOPTERS! TOMAHAWK OFFROAD RACER . FOR AN EX TRAORDINARY + CHRISTMAS You must see our exciting collection at very reasonable prices! CHRISTMAS SHOPPING HOURS: Mon., Tues., Sat. 10 am-6 pm. . Wed., Thurs. Fri. 10 a.m-9 p.m. Sun. TF a.m. to 4 p.m. 4 295- 2838 E. Hastings 2 blocks west of the P.N.E. Phone: