44 - Sunday. December 16, 1990 - North Shore News

EEO LG OG j POD EEIBED

LIFESTYLES = Voweerl§ =

A Wide Assortment of Fine
Belgian Chocolate Gifts
Store: CAPILANO MALL 987-6053

Christmas Locations: SINCLAIR CENTRE, HARBOUR CENTRE.
THE LANDING. CAPILANO MALL, OAKRIDGE CENTRE

can Change a life  dusisswi3ecos

SO, REALLY, you’re hav-
ing a nice old age.

Bit of a drag, not having the
car, but the bus, though incredibly
rigid about its routes, can be
employed quite ingeniously. Even-
ings you find you're grateful for
time for music and for reading.
Friends get a litle more attention,
and what about your old stamp
collection? Better have a look, the
kids might be interested.

You go to some of those fec-
tures at the university that you've
always eyed. You visit the galleries
and the Roundhouse and goonlittle
trips and marvel at the explosion
of housing since you were last at
that place.

You're together. Folks come in
for a meal, occasionally, or you
go to them, but oily on the still-
summer evenings, when the light
lasts.

I's like the old-fashioned in-
gathering, the harvesting of the
years, tallying up the pleasures
over the heartaches, making tidy
fittle stooks of memories. We’re
going to be able to draw on that
harvest, now, when we're xo
longer in the race. The old song
comes true — “If you've got the
money, honey, I’ve got the time.”’

And then your darling falls ill,
irrevocably, obscenely ill, and
days and sometimes years are
spent in trying to help, trying to
soothe, the world fallen away.
Life elsewhere becomes mean-
ingless, the days and nights are
only as big as the sickroom, sur-
vival is the motivation, recovery is
the dream. The one who nurses
lives only in the patient’s capsule.

Johanna White, (her friends call
her ‘‘Joey*’), endured that state
for seven long years, when her
husband fell ill of multiple sclero-

sis in his later life. She was his -

constant aide and companion,
devoting herself to his care. The
Strain was unremitting. When he
died she felt totally washed out
and bewildered; who was she

rcs

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Eleanor
Godley

THE VINTAGE YEARS

without him beside her?

The years in the sick-room had
separated her from friends and
ordinary living — she didn’t seem
to have that talent any more.
She’d have to practise just being

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FORE HH UR AU eS ee  ee

in the world.

Her only child, her bdeloved
daughter would help her recover.
But, in what seems a wanton
overdose of agony, a firestorm of
cancer struck her daughter down
and swept her life away. Johanna
retreated into herself and hoped to
die. Now she was truly alone and
exposed and quite uncertain of the
meaning of her very existence. She
felt not only inadequate but
betraved. and it tipped her over

| into hermitry.

She was by this time in her ecar-
ly 70s, and for 10, Ul years she
hid in her apartment. She sought
no company, she took no pleasure
in the world or its people. She
began to practise a sort of suicide
by eating, doggediy.

Friends tried valiantly to lift her
spirits, to take her out, to inter-
rupt this inexorable slide into a
dangerous inertia. Nothing chang-
ed. She had lost her focus, her
purpose, her sense of worth.

One friend in particular refused

See Seniors page 45

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problems facing women
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BUSINESS

JOIN US FOR
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Saturday and Sunday, January 26 and 27, 1991
Coast Plaza Hotel at Stanley Park
1733 Comox Street (at Denman)

Choose from 25 differennt workshops. Topics include:

Elements of a Business Plan;
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Fee includes meals