36 - Wednesday, Muy 4, 1988>- North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Woman's low self- esteem must
be dealt with by a

Q. 1 AM 30 and have. been. goltig with my boyfriend for low risk they can be careless.
_three years. When we go out to a restaurant or somewhere,
I watch him looking at other women. .

When we are in 2 crowd I look one member.of a couple makes a
around to see what pretty girls are’ display of looking, and when this
there and check on’ my boyfriend draws attention — this is not ac-

# to see if he-is booking at them. I

keep asking ‘him. if he thinks I'm
pretty. 1 am not unattractive and I
wish I could.stop thinking and ac-
ting this way. Am I that Insecure? :
‘A. Yes, you. are that insecure.
‘You noticed it -yourself. I - think
you would do well to talk to a
psychotherapist. Not that you are
crazy,:.but you need someone to

‘talk to you about your low self-.,

‘esteem — and I don’ t mean asking
your. boyfriend again and again if
! he thinks you are pretty!

If. you have'no' other complaints.
about..this “boyfriend, then his
looking at. pretty. women, which is
natural no/matter. how devoted he.
“may- be ‘to’ you, should not bother .

2 you..Don't “you «like to look: at®
: hendvome: men?” Doés that. mean

:don’t “really like your:

' “y! boyftiend? But’ you. know the il-:

logic: of it :-—. you. point that ve

ceptable. But ‘from what” you tell
me, that is not: your boyfriend's
behavior. .

/Q. Do you think that ‘the present:
heath: crisis, curtailing as it does
our ‘sexual’ freedom, will harm
- people’s sex lives and fead to xex-
‘ual: dysfunction: and. create.” (ew

emotional problems?. °

Any ‘overwhelming.’ social
“ diaroption will’. cause. its. special

> But for vast.
stricter need for

Many people will be so fearful
of disease that they avoid sharing
sex and also sharing most kinds of
intimacy with other people. Others
will fecl it is a time of despair; and

despair. will color .all their sexual -

Dr. Ruth

Ruth Westheimer

- experiences...

Some people, instead of practic.
will:

*

ing caution and ‘safer. sex,
attempt to: abstain entirely and
then. break ‘out. into. reckless

behavior from time to time. Strict

monogamy and safer’ sex are much
more reliable courses to take.

numbers, . the
cual caution and:

professional

for keeping to one reliable sex
partner will no more create sexual
dysfunction or neurosis than does
a strict religious or moral code. J
have not found strictly
monogamous people more

_ perplexed sexuaily than others.

‘T have more information on
AIDS and safer sex in my pam-
phlet; Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Safer

Sex. To obtain a copy, send $1 and’

a self-addressed, stamped, legal-
sized envelope to Dr. Ruth/Safer
Sex, P.O. Box 19709, irvine, Calif.
92713-9709.

Q..Lam 14 years old and have a
steady hoyfriend. My. best
girlfriend has .a longtime
boyfriend, too, and: when she and
he were apart for awhile I got them
back together. | am close friends
with both of them. Ever since I gat
them: together agzin he has: been

"interested in me and in fact we are

resily. attracted to each other. We
want to do something about it, and

with the guy, and then you want to.

steal him from her!
But you are not so bad, only
thinking about it. You are temp-

‘ted. Without temptation we have
nothing to resist.

age, all this intrigue is top deep,
and in the long run you will lose a
friend.

You: are also too (young to “do
something about it’’ if that means
sex.. At.14, you are too young to
have | sex with anybody. Kissing
_ and hugging, OK — but sex is for
people who are ready to pay their
way, run their own lives, and.take

the. consequences of being.

grownup on their own shoulders:
In our society, no 14-year-old is
ready for that.

“Cool it with this boy, keep your

friend, and keep all this heavy in- °

trigue. and heartbreak for tater in
life when you can handle it.

I feet it’s time. I heve: had. this

huge crush on him. He's realty

flirtatious’ and. keeps’ leading me

on, What should ido?, . ara
A. Cut itoutl, What’ treachery’

you are thinking: about! First. you

_ a. this sirlfriend of yours: back #:

: With. more than 14 years in
the industry a ‘we ) have

Resist! At your

4

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