yeast hia
baraara

The Grinch didn’t steal Christmas,

IS IT only me or is the
Christmas Season getting
here earlier every year?

By Pau! Hughes
Contributing Writer

I.commented on this very sub-
ject a dayor so prior to Hallow-
-een this year'to the nice clerk put-
ting up a gigantic sleigh on the
ceiling in the mall.

. “Isn't it. a tad early. to be
‘pushing Christmas?’’ I asked.
_. “Get lost, Pops. This is the
“'90s. We. get.things done,’’ he
replied, just before, inexplicably,
.. falling off the ladder.
i Mind you, the little twerp has a
‘point’ — even though it’s a
. broken-legged one. .
If the real meaning of
.. Christmas is merely to bolster a
- faltering economy, the sooner we
mug the general populace the bet-
ters... eo
“.. Yea, verily, the Season of
Goodwill - lurketh “amongst (or,
ossibly, amongtht) us, and;
Lol. :

The Spirit of Christmas doth.

(or, maybe, doeth) spread-eagle us
“against the wall, and dost shaketh
‘the’ Jast “lint-covered: loon . from
‘our.packet (or, perhaps, pocketh).
(Matthew. 12345:666) | .
“of Call-me’-a :frosty-thinking . fun-
:damentalist, but I believe there is
“something ‘basically. warped about
.Christmas in July, no matter what
“the. lyrics to the old song would
“shave us believe. aa
. +:.Anybody who foists the Season

-of Joy on us before, say, the day .

Of: the Grey Cup, should be. stuf-
ed-up‘the orifice of: an extremely
rritable goose... ,

“But then, what do I know?
Valso'don’t think dairies should
be. allowed to sell eggnog at. any

»time | of. the year. besides

‘December."” -; a :
“Have you noticed?

: The Perfect

Moccasiz
* Handmade sheepskin.
6 different colours
infants to size 12
‘Adults only $3 g°

‘Handcarved silver and
“gold jewellery

COAST SALISH
HANDICRAFTS

Sat. 10-5
Dec only Sundays 12-5
1I5SOO block McGuire
North Vancouver

987-3339

They were purveying that
substance at least two weeks be-
fore Thanksgiving this year, com-
plete with holly-berry designed
containers, They didn't even have
the decency to hide it behind a
pilgrim motif.

1, for one, was shocked, I can
tell you, and PIl bet the cow they
squeezed the stuff from was ud-
derly horrified (a little farm
humor there).

Mind you, what’s happening to
the eggnog concept is nothing
compared to what they’ve done to
Christmas oranges.

I can remember a time when
Christmas oranges — what we
used to call Japanese oranges —
were a big deal.

Newspaper photographers
would fight each other for the
chance to capture on film the first
freighter-load of those succulent
beauties coming under the Lions
Gate Bridge.

All the way from Japan, these
oranges had travelled, makisg the
journey protected in wooden
crates that were fater used by the

purchaser to make shelves,
toolboxes, or to form the basis for
a new-design soap-box derby
racer.

They came in late November
(after Grey Cup), were available
for only a few weeks, and then
they were gone. But the memory
of that sweet, easy-open
Christmas fruit lingered all year.
They were something special.

No wonder such a concept
didn’t last.

First to break this happy custom
were Chinese oranges, which, at a
glance, didn’t seem too much of a
moral break with tradition.

jAfer all, they were still Orien-
tal.

The trouble was these oranges
tasted like the Cuitural Revolution
— dull, mouldy, and probably
dangerous.

- Also they were the thin edge of
the wedge.

Now you can get a bastardized
version of Christmas oranges all
year — from California, naturally
— and, I tell you, it ain’t right.

They’re called Satsuma Oranges

44 If the real meaning of Christmas is merely
to bolster a faltering economy, the sooner we.
mug the general populace the better.99

and if that doesn’t sound like
someone trying to pass off an
Edsel for a Mazda 929 | don’t
know what does,

Ha Ha! Nice try, California!

It seems there is no end to the
treachery involved in trying to
manipulate. our Christmas
customs. - ‘

Next thing you know, It’s a
Wonderful Life will air in late
March and run three times a night
until Valentine’s Day — or unti!
Jimmy Stewart drowns in his own
sap, whichever comes first.

Nothing like a tear-jerk plotline
for loosening up the purse strings,
the ad agencies will argue, and the
market is a little sluggish this year.

Wager

I propose that we, the general
public, .become more vigilant. in
maintaining a watch on our ‘tradi-
tional practices. re

1 propose that. Christmas adver-..
tising, by law, begin no. earlier
than December Ist. wa

I propose that only Japanese
oranges be sold at Christmas and
that they be packed once again’ in
wooden boxes.

I propose that eggnog be
declared strictly a. December.
drink. ss

And finally, I propose that any-
one decorating ‘a-. mall for

Christmas. in October be: pushed
off histadder, ©. ° Cee

Bundle up the entire family, ... friends and neighbors ... pick a favorite night and join in the
revelry as residents and visitors alike marvel at the CAROL SHIP PARADE OF LIGHTS.
Festivities can include a variety of entertainment and visual experiences ranging from choirs
and carollers singing traditional holiday songs, to street entertainment; from the lighting of
Christmas trees and candles, flashlights and bonfires.

Atall locations, donations of new toys and food are gratefully accepted on behalf of the
North Vancouver Christmas Bureau and the West Vancouver Santa Claus Fund.

PEPPI’S

Presented by

The City of North Vancouver, The District of North Vancouver and

the District Parks Department,

The District of West Vancouver, North Vancouver Recreation Commission,
Ambleside Tiddlycove Lions Club

SUNDAY « WRDONE@DAY «FRIDAY

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&C TEL

P2RT

VANCOUVER