Bob Hunter

@ strictly personal ®

TODAY, IF you don’t have a word processor, | really
don’t see how you can make a living as a writer, unless

you get paid an awful lot f
is the ideal.

I really do love my word jpro-
cessor. | guess you could even say
I have become dependent on it.

So that when it stopped work-
ing properly the other day, | felt

| as though my arms had been cut
off. Oh oh. Gee, what do I do
now?

There were, as it happened,
three functioning typewriters ly-
ing about the house and office.

This was good news, because it
also happened that I had prom-
ised to have a re-edited print-out
of an entire book manuscript
ready in three days, a magazine
article was overdue, along with a
script outline, and a column
deadline was looming.

“‘Making that primitive
device work would be

| like going back to
driving a tractor after
getting used to video

| zames. It would be like

being grounded. I didn’t’

think I could stand it.’

.1 wasted a good half-hour in
shock, attempting over and over
again to make the word processor
behave, but something deep in-
side had gone the silicon
equivalent of haywire.

Then I stared at the nearest
typewriter for several moments,
while desperate’ thoughts ran
through my head, such as the ut-
terly, insane notion of typing a
story..

Feeding paper: ‘into the
machine. Cranking," the;’ roller.
Clicking a key down hard on the
page. Letting the key come back. :
up. Pushing down on another
one. :

No cursor. No .screen. No
scrolling, deleting or leaping ef-
fortlessly about.

This would be no - good, 1

knew. I simply couldn’t handle
this volume on a typewriter, not
even on three typewriters, if, 1
could somehow keep them all g0-
ing at once.

The only hene was to get! the
worsi processor fixed.

The last time [ took the word
processor to Set fixed, I took it to
the wrong place and there! was a
three;day- delay.

This time, thinking we have
learned our lesson, my wife took
the machine into town, with her
and deposited it at the right
place, meaning the place where
the work is covered by an agree-
ment} and there is a guaranteed
one-day turnaround.

or not too much work, which

She impressed on the front
desk ihe importance of me. get-
ting the machine back as soon as
possible. And, bless their orga-
nized little souls, sure enough,
they called just before noon to
say it. would be ready by 2 p.m.!

Thinking I could at least
salvage part of a day’s work, this
not being a good time to take a
break for meditation, 1 decided
to drive into the grey miasma of
downtown Vancouver during the
first genuine downpour of the
winter,

Well, you know how traffic
slows down in the rain.

I did eventually find the repair
place, and after just a few circl-
ings of the block, I lucked into a
parking spot only half a block
away. ,

Getting inside the building,
‘soaking wet, having forgotten, as
always, to bring a brollie, I hap-
pily picked up my word pro-
cessor, signed for it, and hurried
back through the rain to the car,
feeling very business-like.

’ The traffic was already hor-
rendous, But I made it back
home and down to my office,
eager to get to work.

: Unpackiug the word processor,
I discovered that the electrical
cord connecting the machine to
the wall socket was missing.. It
had been: left at the repair shop:

. Somebody forgot to put it back
% in the carrying bag.
ay Again, I looked at the type-

writer. My fingertips trembled

just the slightest bit. 1 went over
and touched the thing.

Bist it was inert. There was no

busy little program a-buzz inside.

It was worse than lifeless, it was

disk-less.

':Making that primitive device

work would be like going back to
driving a tractor after getting us-
ed to video games. It would be
jlike, being grounded. I ‘didn’t
think I could stand it..

My wife picked up the exten-
sion cord on the way home, so I
was back-in action at the screen
shortly after supper. A good re-
covery, all things considered.

Even a certain amount of grace
under pressure had been demon-
strated. I had whimpered. But I
had not actually cried;

It was only later, in the dark of
night, when it registered on me
what all this: meant: 1 have
become a computer junkie. I
have a work processor on my
back. I can’t get by without
warm-booting it, to use
microchip vernacular.

It has to be a plot. These
things don’t just happen.

Look out! The computers are ,

taking ov-- (sic)

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B.C. FERRIES will be cancelling
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The 8 a.m. departure from
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to accommodate the
cruise.

Jointly sponsored by the B.C.
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Children, the B.C. Ferry and
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has become an annual highlight for
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Approximately 170 children
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