J ousting ration of tn WHEN I am aged and re- counting my youth to my great-great grandchildren, what joys and sorrows will ! most recall about my first pregnancy? By Peggy Trendoll-Whittaker ° Contributing Writer : The joys are fairly self-evident, ~ and usually don’t change much ~ from couple to couple. If I’ve forgotten the particulars. . by the time. I’m 97, I'm sure ?ll ’ be able to maxe something up that -will sound perfectly plausible to the descendants. XZ “it was like taking part ina miracle,” 1 will say,;Starry eyed. “Creating a love that knit.us even closer. togetlier. Having a little’ creature that woitld be utterly, dependent on ‘our care.” You kno ‘the kind of thing. The sorrows are usually much more. interesting, and vary from ‘one set, of parents to another. Expectant mothers trade heart- ~ burn’ remedies and support hose Sources, and fathers get into the > act, too... | The latter.I learned at-my own expense‘during our first pre-n -natal “weeks old, “glass when we were asked to share ‘a “pro”’ and a ‘‘con”’ of our regnancy with the other couples as.a jolly kind of “getting to = me know you’’ gante. ~- My enthusiastic partner in : parenting listed off an admirable -. “number of ‘‘pros,”’ but, sensing things were getting boring, decided to regaleghe crowds with the cur- _/ rent ‘‘con,"? which was a tendency - for a certain physiological reaction “to happen to me at a certain. - physiological crucial moment “during a certain physiological in- . timate act involving the two of us, He was much more graphic, but ’ seeing as this is a family paper I : - will leave it at that. ‘Suffice it to say that pregnan- :_cy’s challenges are usually much more fun to listen to than the “flowery Hallmark card versions of this blessed state.. ‘ “However, other than a brief ‘battle with a recalcitrant leg vein "that went on strike for a week or “so, I’ve had a very fortunate pregnancy that’s given me nothing to complain about. Physically, that is. My one pet peeve with the whole process is the big hush-hush "secret that no one ever talks about. ' Do you know what I’m sefer- ring to? No, of course you don’ t, _ because no one ever talks about it. it’s the simple but seemingly. unexplainable fact that pregnancy is not nine months long, even though legend, myth and song say otherwise. It’s actually much closer to 10 months in duration, and I'm going nuts trying to explain this to peo- ple because they. invariably (a) don't believe me, or (b) sidle off with that pitying, knowing look they give wonien whom they believe to be temporarily insane because they? re at the mercy of their raging reproductive hor- mones. : The problem is this. The whole issue is confusing right from the start, because health-care workers and the rest of the pregnancy in- dustry do not start the clock at the moment of conception. No, they figure that most women won't know when they’ve conceived, so they start counting off pregnancy’s 46 weeks from the first day of the womian’s last menstrual period, because an average cycle will result in ovula- tion and fertilization two weeks later. This means that on the day the egg is fertilized, it is already counted as being two weeks old according to this dating process. When a woman is ‘fone month along,”’ the embryo is actually two weeks old. Got it? . . To further obfuscate matters, pregnancy months, being precise four-week blocks, don’t equal” calendar months, which are gener- ally longer. © Thus, according to the doctor, your pregnancy calendar, and all other official sources, you may be at the six-month mark, but to the test of the world only 4% calen- dar months have gone by. ._ Adding all these factors together, by the time I hit the of-:, ficial version of the nine-month ;/ mark, fwill still have four weeks’ to go. Birth will not be imminent until the end of my 10th official month of pregnancy, or the end of my 40th week. .F do not resent this extra month of pregnancy. I do not niourn my lost figure; nay, 1 rejoice in the- “str ange shadow pictures my ‘growing tummy and I can make on the wall to delight and amuse others. It does, however, make for tediously repetitive conversations. “How far along are you?” “Eight months.”’ **Wow! Just a month to go!”’ “No, two.” “Hal! ha! You kidder!”” “No, really, Pregnancies are 10 months long.’’ ‘*Yeah, right.’’ (He/she sidles off.) Pve decided to start lying in response to their innocent query (‘‘l actually haven't kept track of how far along we are. I feel it Puts too much subconsious pressure on our baby to perform to an artificial deadiine’’), or I will divert their attention (‘Is that a bug in your hair?’’) Failing that, | will hand them a standard press release containing the baby’s conception date (April 9) and its due date (Dec. 30}, and let them answer their own ques- tion using whichever dating system they see fit. Then Fil run fast before they can ask why those two dates don’t” represent a nine-month gap. Except that pregnant women — at least this one —- can’t run fast. But at least I'll create another diversion by trying. ” NEWS photo Cindy Goodman GRADE 10 students at the Vancouver Waldorf school In North Vancouver have a beef with an adult. who allegedly stole approximately $45 worth of bottles collected during a recent bottie drive. Waldorf bottle drive stalls as. adult rolls away with the soods THE TEMPORARILY financially bereft. Class of 796 at Vancouver Waldorf school in North’Vancouver has a com- plaint about adults: one of their kind ruined the teenagers’ fundraising efforts Nov. 15 by driving away with a carload of bottles collected by the class. ‘We usually hear about student violence or teenage violence against adults, but we-felt that is like adult. violence against teenagers or adult violation of teenagers,’’ said Grade 10 spokesperson Tamara Fisher. She said bottles worth approxi- mately $45 were collected by Waldorf Grade 10 students during arecent bottie drive. The Grade 10 class, numbering approximately 25 students, is in its second year of fundraising for a grad trip to Europe. Sunday December 12th 140 B Lonsdale 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm Drop by and chat with David and friends. By Anna Mavie D’ Angelo News Reporter The bottles were left outside a ‘staircase at. Highlands United Church, . 3255 Edgemont. Blvd. Waldorf. high schcol classes are held in an area of the church. The bottles were. temporarily stored outside the church.- The’ teens had planned to cash them in the next day, but an adult took them. Said. Fisher, ‘A couple of my friends in-Grade 10 saw this: mid- dle-aged lady with curly reddish hair. She took the bottles-and put them into her stationwagon.” . | |. One’ of. the. Waldorf students asked the .woman what she was doing. “The woman said, ‘The church asked me to take them.’ We asked | the church and she lied to us.. The church : doesn’t know her,”’ said Fisher. ; Fisher and students associated with the incident say ‘they don’t’ believe it’ was related to a-misun- . derstanding, but instead, was a deliberate act of theft. | im - Meanwhile, any adult wishing to’. contribute to..the cause can jcall Michael at | 983- 8738 for ‘bottle: pickup. David Schreck, MLA (North Vancouver Lonsdale) Legislative Office: Parliament Buildings Victoria, B.C. vay 1X4 Phone: (604) 356-3003 © Community Office: 140 B Lonsdale Avenue ' North Vancouver V7M 2E8 Phone: (604) 986-2254: