pated in a joyous, emo-
tional and wistful rite of
passage. I attended my
daughter’s high school
graduation.

The celebration seemed to
be as significant for many par-
ents as it was for the young
graduates. The event just
sneaks up on you — especially
if it’s the first time you’ve

"> seached such a milestone.

: Few of us can believe how
quickly our kids have grown to
young adulthood, and there’s
a mixture of pride and sorrow
in watching them march
through the graduation cere-

mony. Pride in the accomplish-

ment of making it this far; sor-
~ row in the recognition that the
sweet innocence of their child-
hood is now officially over.
In my case there was also a
healthy dose of surprise, even
shock. I have a difficult time
‘admitzing to even myself that
I'm old enough to have a
daughter who's graduated
from high school. It doesn’t
seem all that long ago when I
was graduating myself. And,
yet, I can’t beip but reflect
that the Class of "97 is enter-
ing a very different world than

their parents did only a gener-
ation ago.

Today’s grads are smarter,
they know more about the
world and they're much more
proficient with technology.
But they have to be, since the
world is faster-paced, more
uncertain and more danger-

Today’ s grads are entering
an unstable job market, where
youth unemployment is at
staggering levels. Their parents
had it much easier by compari-
son, with few of us worrying
about getting a job or getting
by.

Today’s grads have been
encouraged to focus and
decide on their future careers

. ata very tender age. They've

been warned they'll probably

north shore news

VIEWPOINT
Grad class of 1997

many common and enduring
patterns that will see this year’s
grads chasing the same dreams
and pursuing similar ambitions
as previous generations did
before them. And I think it’s
natural for parents to worry
about the seemingly insur-
mountable obstacles in their
paths, while at the same time
hoping and praying they'll be
more successfil in achieving
their aspirations than we were.

A jumble of thoughts raced
through my mind while
watching my daughter receive
her diploma, symbolically
accepting the challenge to
move on to the next chal-
lenges in her life.

Is it just my impression, or
are young women today more
mature than young men of the

“And it struck me that the
ultimate gift of parenting is that
children actually teach their fathers and
mothers invaluable lessons.”

have several careers during
their working lives, each of
which will likely involve more
education and training. Our
generation never fretted as
much over careers; we experi-

, enced | less ess pressure to plan our

were allowed a
aia faire approach to our
personal economic prospects.

There are numerous other
ways in which the world of
1997 is different — for better
and worse. But there are also

Everything :

, nonesuch

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same age? Certainly the female
members of her grad class
appeared more confident and
self-assured than their male
counterparts. Could it be that
this gender divide has always
existed during the late teenage
years? !f so, P'm horrified to
even try to remember what I
was really like when I was my
daughter’s age. 1 also reflected
on the job I’ve done as a par-
ent. We all tend to be pretty
hard on ourselves in this cru-

cial area, wondering if we
could have been better or
more effective or more loving.

Almost a decade ago I read
a very influential book written
by an American educator,
Nicky Marone, How To Father
A Successful Daughter. It sum-
marized for me the task of
being the first supportive male
in my daughter’s life.

In my own limited ways,
Pve cried to live up to that
responsibility and will continue
to do so. But I can’t help but
marvel at how being a father
of a daughter (actually, wvo
daughters) has significantly
changed my view of women,
prompting me to consider
their perspective on a wide
range of issues. Ir seems to me
that any father of a daughter
shouid naturally be more sen-
sitive to women’s issues, if
only by virtue of wanting their
own daughter to be successful
in reaching her goals.

And it struck me that the
ultimate gift of parenting is
thar children actually teach
their fathers and mothers
invaluable lessons. In this
sense, the grad ceremonies and
parties of the last few weeks
mark a coming of age not only
for a generation of teenagers,
who now move on to a world
of work or advanced educa-
tion, but for their parents and
families as well.

— The North Shore News
believes strongly in freedom of
speech and the right of all sides
in a debate to be heard. The
columnists published in the
News present differing points of
view, but those views are not
necessarily those of the newspr-
per itself.

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