4% - Wednesday, July 15, 1992 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES Single parent concerned about announcing birth DEAR MISS MANNERS — Is it proper for a single parent to send birth announcements? Judith Martin Sooner or later the relatives will be shocked by the news, as they are all from the old school of thought, in which single parent- hood was a rarity and, if ever en- countered, was spoken of in shocked and barely audible whispers. GENTLE READER — Whether or not it is proper for a single Parent to give birth is a moral issue, not a maners one. But once that has been settled, Miss Manners cannot step in after the fact and declare it improper to acknowledge that an actual baby exists. A proper birth announcement is concerned with the birth of the baby, not the circumstances of its conception. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My father is a violent, boorish Grunk. When he has had one too many (a daily occurence), he slurs hhis speech, bumps into walls and speaks very loudly. He is prone to pontificating on everything from “those damn liberals’? to ‘‘the eoioreds.”’ : I am terrified that he wili get drunk and embarrass everyone at my wedding. We-do not propose to serve liquor, but that will not stop my father from bringing his own, ss he did at my cousin's wedding. © . * Should I exclude him? If so, should I explain why? My mother and my brother may refuse to attend if this is done. Although I would not miss my brother, I would really like my mother to attend. ; From friends, I have received two basic sets of advice: Exclude him, as it is our wedding and we should be comfortable with all the arrangements; “Do the right thing” by including him, and just pray that he behaves. © Please help me in this momen- tous decision. ‘GENTLE READER — father does not sound like a good Still accepting teams for NV clam chowder competition THERE ARE a few team spots left for those wishing to participate in the Eighth Annual Clam. Chowder Contest on July Waterfront Park from 1 to _ 3 p.m. An estimated 30 teams will square off for the coveted prize’ — trophy of the Overall Best Cream Clam Chowder. Each team brings its own Secret recipe, ingredients and a creative flair for decorating . their booth, and joins in the fun of making the best chowder in town. Live entertainment, .roving per- formers, refreshments, children’s events and four classic car club displays — B.C. Corvette Club, B.C. Triumph Registry, Lotus Car Club and Austin Healey Owners Association of: B.C. add to the’ day’s festive atmosphere. Last-minute applications for this City of North Vancouver- Sponsored event can be obtained by calling 983-6453. These must .be submitted with the $30 entry fee by today. Your’ 19 at. MISS MANNERS prospect for a wedding guest, but Miss Manners does not care for either of these statements. The first attitude is selfish, and the se- cond foolhardy. . Weddings are for families and friends, not just for the bridal couple concerned, and Miss Man- ners deplores the attitude that the couple’s wishes are the only con- cern. Although your father sounds like that extreme case of a relative who has excluded himself from consideration, your mother’s and brother’s feelings ought to be a factor in your decision. But you also.owe something to the solemnity of the event and the feelings of others who ate likely to be the butt of your father’s prob- able misbehavior. Instead of fighting your mother anc brother on the issue, Miss Manners suggests that you enlist their help. They must te only too aware of the dangers involved. Ask them whether, if they agree to police your father’s behavior, it is fikely that the wedding may proceed smoothly. .If they admit that. this wouldn’t work, .or dre wusc Ra a Convection Wall Oven jj © Clock controlled baking @ Seif-cleaning © Programmable meat probe f © 3 racks © Designer styling cononry $1099 wasrjenn-Air COLONY : HOME FURNISHINGS 1075 Roosevelt Crescent North Vancouver (2 blocks behind the Avalon Hotsi) ‘OPEN DAILY; Fri. 9-9: Sun. 12-4 Maternity Fashion CLEARANCE vr 10 70% ort ALL SPRING & SUMMER FASHIONS a) Ly 9, ‘ Allegri. 805 W. Broadway (at Willow) and Bundles Maternity Shops 879-7443 fh unwilling to assist, at least they ya ought to be able to understand ranenersei better why it would then be neces- sary to keep him from attending. DEAR MISS MANNERS — Is there a training class for ladies too gently bred? Salespeople address me as “Hon or ‘‘Haney.’’ FE sometimes seem invisible — peopie walk right into me. Sometimes ! feel like opening the window and screaming, ‘i'm mad as hell?" but 1 doubt anyone would sotice. I should have reatized how life was to be when [£ was in kindergarten. All of the children were lined up to get shots. All were screaming except me. All the Screamers were given pieces of candy. f got none. GENTLE READER — Is it too late for Miss Manners to offer you candy? . She desperately wants to keep you from finding those training classes which — by substituting such names as “‘assertiveness’’ as a disguise for rudeness -— do, in- deed, exist to turn gentle people rough. However, the belief that you must. choose between being a rude succéss and being a polite victim is a false one. Etiquette is not without its polite defenses, and they are often more effective than retaliatory rudeness. Miss Manners can understand that a child would not. think of saying, ‘1 would like a candy, too, please,”’ and deplores the callousness that created the situa- tion you describe, But. surely you are old enough now to say firmly, “That’s ‘Ma’am,’ not ‘hin,’ if you please.’’ CDavies PHARMACY Brings to the North Shore Community PERSONALIZED - MASTECTOMY FITTINGS with Airway’s Breast Forms & Bras 50% off Bras until July 3ist~ Certified mastectomy fitters on staff. For appointments -— please call: 985-8771 1401 St. Georges North Vancouver “Prime of Life” is a special feature of the North Shore News. Read about health issues, lifestyles, travel and more. WATCH FOR THE ‘PRIME OF LIFE” SUPPLEMENT IN YOUR JULY 19TH ISSUE OF THE NORTH SHORE NEWS THE VOICE OF NORTH AND WEST VANCOUVER ‘north shore. SUNDAY + WEDNESDAY - FRIDAY