Closing the open lines EXERCISING SUPERHUMAN restraint, J refrained from throwing spears over the Christmas season. But it wasn’t easy. Not after listening to a radio program done by one of the biggest bores in B.C. I refer to Rafe Mair, whose ac- quaintance I had the misfortune of making when we were both working for CJOR. He now bur- bles on CKNW, which stated in a recent bus ad that he was “‘arguably the best.”’ He is also arguably the worst. But I’ll give him one thing: he takes the prize in bad taste. He argued publicly, for instance, that his station should not re-hire Gary Bannerman. Such fat- headedness is rare, even in radio. Not thet I make a habit of listening to a guy whose ego is such that he could burst at any minute. That would be like chew- ing cardboard. But a friend phon- ed to say Mair would be discuss- ing me and the ‘‘anti-racist”’ demonstration at the North Shore News and that I should tune in. I did. Against my better judg- ment. There should, after all, be a law against letting faded politi- cians pose as journalists. Also, 1 have given Mair lessons in jour- nalism but he couldn’t com- prehend them. His subject this time was freedom of speech. But that was only a cover for an attack on freedom of speech, for he waltzed around the studio with two Marx- ist marvels who no more believe in freedom of speech thar I believe that Stalin should de dug up and restored to the Kremlin. They were Charan Gill, the East Indian who has been appointed tc the board of the PNE, courtesy of his friends in Victoria, and a bloke called Alf Dutton. Both are professional protesters and leaders of the pompously named B.C. Organization To Fight Racism, which must have at least 10 members, i had the pleasure of laughing at them at their demo, where they were so much in favor of free speech that they wouldn't let me speak. Mair pulled the same sort of trick on the air. Doug Collins ON THE OTHER HAND In good open-line programm- ing, the host invites the victim to face his critics, be he villainous or virtuous. Ask Jack Webster. Ask Pat Burns. Ask any 10-year-old. Fairness apart, it makes for inter- est, Mair didn’t do that. Having a bit of opposition is not his bag. Besides, it would have spoiled his little game. Fiction would have been exposed. Gill stated, for instance, that I had suggested sending all the col- ored folk back home. I have done nothing of the sort. Mair must have known that, he being one of my most regular readers. But he wasn’t about to challenge those characters in any serious way. He kept calling them ‘*gentlemen,"’ and the three of them threw around buzz-words like ‘‘white supremacists,’’ the KKK, David Duke, etc. They forgot to mention Adolf Hitler. As I say, the subject was freedom of speech, to which Mair paid hypocritical lip service. But he’s not much better in that department than the dopes he was interviewing. Especially when he’s on the spot. Lifeboat crew assists THE CANADIAN Coast Guard’s auxiliary Deep Cove lifeboat was called out just be- fore midnight Dec. 29 to assist a Burnaby ambulance crew with an unconscious male at the log-booming grounds on the south shore of Burrard In- let directly across from Cates Park. Because the area was only accessible by trail, Burnaby paramedics were forced to leave their ambulance and hike | Seniors You should hear what you're missing! (North Shore) - Hearing. tests will be given at the Bel- tone Better Hearing Centre on the North Shere on Monday to Thursday from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Anyone who has trouble hearing is welcome to have _ the test. Many people with hearing problems don't need hearing aids. But only a mod- em hearing test like the one one being offered by Beltone can really tell for sure. Everyone should have a hearing test at least once a year —- even people now wearing a hearing aid or those who have been told nothing could be done for them. Only a hearing test can determine if modern methods of hearing amplification can help them hear better. The hearing tests will be given Monday to Thursday from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on the North Shore. In-home testing is also available. Please phone for appoint- ment. D.V.A. Welcome A couple of years ago he was peddling guff concerning the Great Debate on Immigration in North Van in which your humble servant joyfully discomfited Gerry Weiner, the Tories’ multicult man. { penetrated Mair's program to give him another short course on teporting but he cut me off. Brave Rafe. Freedom of speech Rafe. What is it that Dutton and Gill want, apart from my early demise? Plenty. But what they don’t want is press freedom. As explained to their kind in- terviewer, they want amendments to the criminal code ‘‘to protect minorities.’" Mair didn’t remind them that they already have that in the lovely ‘‘hate laws.”’ They also want ‘‘a body similar to the CRTC” to ca.itrol the prini media, the “KTC being the com- missars w:o have just told the radio aud TV trade it must be nice to homos. A CRTC for the press would of course reduce it to the politically correct pap now being dispensed on the nation’s airwaves. Believe it or not, Mair said he wasn’t quite sure how such a thing would work. Would such a body have the ability to shut people up? To which the East Indian replied: “If it’s needed, you’ve got to do it. We put people in jail. We do lots of things to stop crime.”’ There should also be legislation “to teach people not to misbehave.”’ Mair let coat diift. And no calls were taken. The public was shut out. He went on to other impor- tant business after giving his guests a kiss or two, no doubt. My prediction: While Harcourt and Sihota get into their stride there will be a Bill To Make Peo- ple Behave. And it will be inter- esting to see whether it gets any argument from arguably the worst. A master of the cliche. Mair says he is ‘‘against racism in any way, shape or forin.’” My hope for him is that he wakes up one day to find his neighbors are 10,000 cut- throating, crack-peddling blacks from Detroit. in rescue almost half a mile to the site. The Deep Cove lifeboat was then called in to evacuate the man. The lifeboat’s crew took the patient to Reed Point marina where he was tranferred to a waiting ambulance. Wednesday, January 8, 1992 - North Shore News - 9 ARDAGH HUNTER TURNER Barristers & Solicitors | Personal Injury 986-9286 #300-1401 LONSDALE, NORTH VANCOUVER, BC. Give free estimates in your home for your Drapery, Bed- spreads and Upholstery Needs. We will bring samples to your home and will pick up and deliver your furniture. COOKS UPHOLSTERY LTD. 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