38 - Sunday, September 22, 1991 - North Shore News DEAR MISS MANNERS — Cloth napkins are the problem. It is nice to have them on the jap while one is eating, but it is unpleasant to get sticky fingers and to have to use the napkin and then put it down on one’s lap. Since finger bowls are out, | have met this problem in my own way — 2 small, moist towelette inconspicuously kept on my lap. However, these are not attractive- ly packaged. It would be nice to have them tucked into the napkin as part of the tabie settling. GENTLE READER ~— Just a minute here. Cloth napkins are not the problem, The job they do absorbing ordinary food messes puts any paper pretenders to shame. It is not the napkin’s fault that they need special assistance to handle the quart of barbecue sauce you tried to transfer from your spareribs to your own ribs. So although Miss Manners ap- preciates your attempt to enter the etiquette trade by identifying problems and proposing solutions, she believes you will do better in this line if you think things through before assigning blame. People get their fingers sticky by eating with their bands: they do not come to the table sticky from spending the day mending old china with super-glue. Therefore, a towelette, as you call it, would be useless tucked into the napkin for use at the beginn- ing of the meal. What you need is something to appear between a finger-food course and a course eaten with flatware, This is why the finger bowl was invenicd, in the days when fingers outnumbered flat- ware two to one. Many people still use finger bowls, cither for practical reasons or out of ceremonial tradition, so you will oblige them as well as Miss Manners by not pronouncing them ‘‘out.”” Paper trash does not belong on the table; if by ‘‘towelette’’ you mean a commercially packaged wiping tissue, you should refrain from using it. But you may cer- tainly bring out small moist towels, pleasantly warm at the NEW IN TOWN? LET US PUT OUT THE MAT FOR YOU! be sure to call ‘a ‘wb, ; “Veto Mig ¢ 73-2753 or 980-9738 Fingers pose a sticky dining problem Judith Martin MISS MANNERS time of use, after the messy course is completed. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I receatly went out four times with aonice young man. The day after the last date, he called and said he had a wonderful time sad would call me later. Ten days Iater, TE left him a message. Was I wrong to call? I am intcrested in u_ relationship with him. Does he awe me an ex- planation after H) days? I know it is too early to ask for much, but I feel T deserve better. SENTLE READER — May Miss Manners break down this question before vou break down? Were you wrong to call him? No. Does he owe vou an exphani- tion? No. . Wo osou demand one, have a relationship? No. In the early stages of a court- ship, one half of a fledging couple does not unilaterally impese rules about how offen to call or meet. Therefore, although cither per- son may initiate calls, this should be done to encourage the other, not to berate him or her. If things really do seem promising, ‘*] miss you" is) more attractive than “Why didn’t you call?" Later you may progress to a stage when a certain regularity is agreed upon. Getting there is gen- erally quicker when one remembers that it is human nature to be more enthusiastic about pressing someone v.ho may seem hesitant than abeut keeping up with someone who isn’t. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I have had lettess addressed to me ato an old address, opened and re-addressed, forwarded and mail- ed back to the sender with no in- formation about current addresses, Presuming Chat a person has done the proper thing and notified the Past Cifice of a change of ad- will you Philip B. James, mo. is pleased to announce the opening of his practice in Phlebology at the WEST COAST VEIN CLINICS an outpatient clinic for the medical treatment of varicose and spider veins. Cali (604) 254-0504 . VANCOUVER #301-2250 Commercial Dr. VSN 5SP9 £ Montecello by Staniey Beautitully grained chetrs yeteets & Chest. Bed, 2 Nites - Complete 6 fe Reg. $4569.09 The Finest Furniture Vancouver Has to Offer! WEST VANCOUVER #411-545 Clyde Avenue V7T iCS dress, what are the rules of eti- quette regarding those fetters that people insist on sesding to an ald address? GENTLE READER ~~ Of course misdirected letters should never be opened. It is as high a crime against etiquette as against postal regulations to open anyone else's mail (even if ii happens to be properly addressed, but with the name of a member of your household on it, rather than your own), However, Miss Manners is always ready with the benefit of the doubt. There are people, even occasionally including herself, who do not open their letters one ut a time, but slit them all (with un ivory paper knife, since that does net chomp out a middle sec- tion, the way automatic Jetter- openers do) before setting down to read thera. In such a case, it is possible not to notice that one letter in the pile is not actually addressed to one- self. The custom then is to reseal it as soon as the mistake has been realized — that is, when reading the salutation, not after digesting the contents — and to write on the envelope *‘Open by mistake." Miss Manners suggests you drop a charming note to your successor at your old address, stating your new address and apologizing for the inconvenience to him or her of forwarding your mail. At Sylvan Learning Centres” we help kids do better in math, We begin with a diagnostic test to identify strengths and weaknesses. Then we design a customized learning programme. Just a couple of hours a week with a caring, certified Sylvan* teacher and math skills begin to improve. basic readi at least one | THE SYLVAN® GUARANTEE, When enrolled in our or math programme, your child will improve § grade equivalent score after the first 36 hours of instruction, or we will provide an additional 12 hours at no extra cost. § ©1990 Sylvan Leanung Corporason NORTH SHORE 985-6811 ivan Learni Helping kids do better” RICHMOND 273-3266 Centre. COQUITLAM 941-9166 READING: MATH: WRITING: STUDY SKILLS: ALGEBRA Concord Cherry by American Orew 18th century Classi heer Chairs. 2 Ari Ch Reg. $6842 00 ( + Taple Leaves, 4 Side pu H HOURS a MON.-WED 930-8 2c THUR FAL. 9 50-9.00 647 10 06:6 00 SUN. 171:00- 5.00 5520 Minoru Blvd. Richmond, Tel.: 273-0155