Doug Collins ® get this straight @ THE COMMONWEALTH is about to break loose in Van- couver, and the best tag for that cheap club was penned recently by a British newsman. He said it was the Great Ghost Whale, a mountain of phantom blubber signifying | little in the real political world. It does signify something, however, for outside of the United Nations it would be dif- ficult to muster more pirates, thieves, beggars, tyrants and ne’er-do-wells under one roof. Who is running Uganda right now | I can’t quite remember, but not long ago Idi Amin was. And in | Uganda you were lucky if you weren't thrown to the crocs. It would take a master of trivia pretend they are on the world stage even though there is no au- dience in the theatre. It allows many other nincompoops to play bit parts. It also allows them to conceal their owa villainies by shouting about South Africa. One can say, indeed, that the Whale’s chief activity is the harassing of South Africa. And there floats the biggest laugh of all, for many of these wonderful countries are as racist as can be. . “Freedom Flouse in New York clans ther are 5,000 political prisoners in Tanzania alone. There would have been more, no doubt, but soon after Tanzania’s union with Zanzibar, thousands of the sizeable Arab minority had their throats cut,”’ to name all 49 countries who make up the Great Ghost Whale. Some -- mainly the few white democracies -- are respectable enough, But the majority are miserable mango dictatorships and festering heaps of sin. One ; has only to think of places like Ghana, Sierra Leone, Fiji, Nigeria, Guyana and Zambia. Freedom House in New York claims: there are 5,000 political prisoners in Tanzania alone. There would have been more, no f doubt, but soon after Tanzania’s .union with Zanzibar, thousands of the sizeable Arab minority had their throats cut. The Commonwealth does have a purpose, though. Several pur- poses, im fact. It allows gab- bleheads like Brian Baloney to Fhis NORTH VANCOUVER CITY COUNCIL: Tuesday, Oct. 13, at 7:30 p.m.: Public hearings re: of- ficial community plan text amendment and zoning amend- ment for Bosa Bros./ Lonsdale Quay Development Corp. proposal for Lot 11 at Lonsdale Quay/ rezoning for 216 West 17th St.; policy and planning committee re: Dog tax and regulation bylaw; del- egations: eight speakers re: resi- dential care facility 310 East 26th St.; correspondence re: transit 6:00 PM The Gods Must Be Crazy (Comedy-Adventure) Remember Nigeria, in which the temporary state of Biafra arose? Remember the massive massacres of the [bos there? Oh what a lovely war! It is difficult, indeed, to find any countries in Africa in which true human rights prevail. Even in much-praised In- dia there are still millions of vir- tual slaves and ‘‘untouchables”’ who don’t officially exist but must get out of the way for their bet- ters. Neither Rajiv Gandhi nor aryone else will be mentioning that, of course. Nothing exemplifies the whale’s hollowness more than Sir Shridath Ramphal, known as “Sonny”? Ramphal, secretary- general of the Commonwealth. Sonny is one of the world’s great buffoons and a prize-winner in funding formula/ proposed North Shore economic development strategy; reports of committees, representatives and staff re: resi- dential care facility application for 310 Fast 26th St./ Norwesters Track and Field Club grant re- quest; bylaws re: reconsideration and final adoption of zoning 200- block East Fourth Street/ second and third readings of official community plan and rezoning for property at Lot 1! of Lonsdale Quay; committee of the whole the arts of hypocrisy. The fellow hails from Guyana, which has been described in the Daily Telegraph as ‘‘a primitive, corrupt tyranny.’’ [It is also a racist state in which blacks are pit- ted against browns, Shiva Naipaul, the author, wrote this about what passes for the democratic process in Guyana: “*The rigging of the elections (in 1973) was so blatant that it reach- ed new heights. In fact it could hardly be called rigging any more; the army simply seized ballot boxes and did with them as it wished.”* While that was going on, Sir Sonny was the country’s attorney general. Sir Sonny, who has made a profession of slamming South Africa. He holds the Guyanese Order of Excellence, you know, and we could laugh about him if our own politicians weren't such bums. But where is the Canadian MP who is prepared to say an honest word about the Whale? Let me know if you hear of one. This week, Vancouver will be treated to the biggest heap of deceipt, pomposity, blather and bull that man can devise. Baloney will join hands with moral dropouts and the media will create an ocean of editorial hot air. Windbaggery will reign supreme. Call. it Common Rot, not Commonwealth. ' Maggie Thatcher could put a stop to this nonsense. She could tell the Whale to get lost, that Bri- tain is quitting. The animal would then beach itself. But although she regards the whole thing as a waste of time, she won't do so. The only thing to be said for this farce is that for a few days it will be good for our hotel trade. Unfortunately, we are paying the bill. Baloney does like nice rooms, as you may have heard. (eek at councils (in-camera) re: Heritage Advisory Committee appointment/ Mansard roof claim — recreation centre; report of the committee of the whole. NCRTH VANCOUVER DISTRICT COUNCIL is cancelled for the Thanksgiving holiday. Next district council meeting is slated for Monday, Oct. 19. WEST VANCOUVER DISTRICT COUNCIL is also cancelled for the Thanksgiving holiday. Next district council meeting is slated for Mon- day, Oct. 19. Preview Night Tuesday, Oct. 13 Channels 2 & 29 8:00 PM Clockwise (Comedy) 40:00 PM FIX (Thriller) 986-2421 9 - Sunday, October 11, 1687 - North Shore News NV man gets court date A 35-YEAR-OLD North Van- couver man will appear for trial Oct. 28 in North Vancouver pro- vincial court on two alleged fish- eries violations. Paul Richard Barham was origi- nally charged with attempting to catch fish by snagging and wilfully obstructing a fisheries officer in connection with an Aug. 17 inci- dent in North Vancouver. Appearing Sept. 28 before Judge j.K. Shaw, Barham was remanded to Oct. 28 to stand trial on the charges. 8311 Sea Island Way, Richmond BC. 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