A8& - Friday, January 25, 1985 - North Shore News

isn't ANYONE
screaming for

Doug's

blood?

OU KNOW YOUR'RE OVER THE HILL
and practically done for when the Red Cross
turns up its nose at your blood.

EE EL
get this
straight

“Reach Out and Save So-
meone,”’ said the whole-page
advertisements in the papers,
“You know by now that it
takes a lot of blood to save a
lot of British Columbians...”

In due course ] presented
myself to the Lions Gate
Hospital, feeling quite inoly
and full. of noble thoughts
about the poor soul or souls
who would gasp their tast
were it not for this generous
action. And full of doubts,

too, about whether I really —

wanted to give it. !

_ It was possible, I thought
gloomily, that I would be like
the late British comedian
Tony Hancock, who gave

_ blood one minute and wanted
it back the next. After all,
blood is blood. It’s not
something you can order a
pint of in the West Van
Legion, and you never know
whether you really have
enough of the stuff.

Up to the desk, where the
nice lady is taking down par-
ticulars. Another nice lady
proffers a glass of apple
juice. One of them asks me
whether I am that Collins.
Happily, she turns out to be
one of my two fans, and soon
1 am presenting myself to the
nurse on duty in the blood
ward,

“Have you given - blood
regularly?”’ she asks.

“Not since the war,”’ says
I, feeling guilty.

She's sorry, but they don’t
take blood from people over
60 who haven’t. given
regularly. | ,

“You mean you don’t
want o/d blood?’’.} ask.

She’s sorry again. Mean-
while it seems to me that the
beds in the ward are full of
-old geysers who probably

“ haven’t given before either,
and who have fibbed their
way in so as to get away from
it all:

: “My. doctor says 1 should
give blood: 1175 absolutely
first rate stuff; and if givea
bit here, he won’t have to put
leeches on me,"’ I plead.

Nothing doing.

ls ‘discrimination, of
course.’ They just don’t want
my blood, and I'll have to
complain to the human rights
people.

Does anyone have their
address?

ee *

The other day this space
mentioned the case of the
Keebles of North Van, to

mailbox

whom Canada Post refuses
to deliver mail even though
the house 150 feet away from
them gets it. No mail delivery
in new subdivisions, is the
rule. All very amusing, con-
sidering the ads the post of-
fice is putting out that show
eight wonderful ways of hav-
ing your mail handled.

The story has} inspired
another reader to write about
his troubles om Pender
Island. He owns a farm
there, and the places on
either-side of him have mail
delivery, But he doesn’t.

When he bought the farma
couple of years ago, his mail
box was about 400 feet from
the end of his. driveway,
necessitating a walk. He ask-
ed the previous owner why
this was so and the guy said it
was the best deal he could get

.with the post office. Which _

turned out to be a portent.

After he moved in, the post
office told him to remove the
box. He asked why. The
postmaster; couldn't really
tell him. At which point a
female dragon emerges from:
behind a partition and, shak-
ing with. rage, tells him he
doesn’t get mail because she
doesn’t want him to get mail.
{f he doesn’t tike it, he can
appeal to the Boss
Postmaster.

He did. But, as he puts it,
f...-all happened.

He'd like just one way af
having his mail delivered.
Eight ways boggle the
imagination."

Doug should be in politics

Dear Editor:

‘Doug Collins’ article about
the neutering of the English
language for the sake of
feminism was superb. 1 am
pleased to see that this man
refuses to knuckle under to
the ever-present shrill
hysteria of feminist rhetoric,
Collins’ and | don't always
concur on many social and
political issues, but so what?
In our democracy, and I use
the term very loosely, we still
have the pundamental right to

express a multitude of con-
flicting opinions. f£ deeply
respect the man's courage to
say What he thinks, even if it
means incurring the wrath of
potential censors and others
who would homogenize.
mould and otherwise shape
us into their personal image
of wholesomeness.- 1 think
Mr. Collins should run for a
political office.

Keith Manzke
North Vancouver

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