VILLAGERS IN Kanye,
Botswana recently gathered to
watch champion sprinter Marian
Assa being chased by seven men,
each one a potential husband,
Once the original list of suitors
was pared down, the lightning

quick: Assa, 19, promised to wed.

the-man who could manage |
catch her. She was firially caught

by 28-year-old Eli Bewa, a nimble .

fruit-trader from a local village..

/ The New York Times recently
reported on Spain’s most popular
TV: program, The Truth Machine,
in which celebrity guests are
hooked up to lie detectors, which
are monitored by “experts”, and
quizzed on aspects of their scan-
dals. . .

“A’ recent guest was John

. Wayne Bobbitt, who was judged
-“significant[ly] decept[ive]” when
he denied hitting his wife Lorena
and forcing her to have sex.

, Beverly Hills, California — In
September, a 24-year-old man

being chased by a police officer .

‘ from-a house that he was suspect-
ed of. burglarizing ran into a tree
branch and knocked. himself
unconscious. * |
»: Also’ in September, in Akron,

OB INN’.
ieee VEN ISLA, HOW

"GOUT SOME’ corres |

GAL with MY MORNING
FAPER ?

» ONE OF THOSE PWEEBY
‘6UYS THAT BELIEVE
~IN, AUS THAT SCIENCE
FANTASY "JUNK:

Compiled by A.P. McCredie

Qhio, police reported..-that ”
Christopher-S. Dobbins, 28, in the
process of robbing Leonardo’s
Pizza, slipped on a streak of-
grease on the floor, which was the
result of « dropped pizza earlier in
the evening, and knocked himself
out.

Bristol, England: — The
Independent recently reported on a
woman's football (soccer for us
colonists) team that was penalized

ALL T HAVE = >
1S SOME 997 >>

CAFFEINE FREE >
’ COFFEE.

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ON

HES LIVING IV A
DREAMLAND OF |
MAKE: BELIEVE..:

for beating a men’s team.

Bristol Rovers Women’s club
beat a visiting men’s side, which
included two professional players.
FA officials were aghast, the arti-
cle stated, and stepped in to disci-
pline the ladies.

The defeated men’s team were
heard to mutter “they're so rough”,
and “for God's sake, its only a
game” as the teams headed to their
respective showers.

eee

Singapore Health Minister
George Yeo recently warned the
country’s overweight students to
diet — or risk failing their exams.

Minister Yeo claims that stud-
ies have been completed which
show a “clear negative link”
between obesity and sharp think-
ing. In response, a student organi-
zation is launching a study on the
average height/weight ratios in the
Singapore government.

A 13-year-old Australian boy
has saved his pet rabbit by giving

it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

James. Thorogood rescued
Boogedy from the bottom of the
family’s swimming pool. before
administrating the life saving tech-
nique, which, he claims, he picked

up from watching Baywatch.

BRING ME. NINETY
NINE CUPS. .
~s—

AND You
AGREE WITH ME,
Don, You., TEDDY ?,

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